Tuesday, January 19, 2016

The Hardest Part of Parenting

The hardest part of parenting is learning not to listen to EVERYONE ELSE.


Parenting should be this amazing adventure of discovery and survival.  It should be an experience of bonding and learning how to communicate with a new life.  It should be a customized journey for each child that recognizes and celebrates their individuality.  But unfortunately, it's a guilt-ridden, headache inducing battle for many families.  Too many moms don't learn to shut out the "noise" from books, culture, relatives, friends, etc. (Yes, Dr. Sears, I'm talking about you too!)  Too many parents see what their friends are doing or what some book says and immediately slap themselves upside the head for not doing that too.  It's pretty sad.

To all the new parents in the world, I would encourage you to stick with your gut.  Use common sense.  And tell the busy bodies to buzz off. You are the parent. Your baby loves you.  So love on your baby and don't let anyone else make you feel bad for being you. 

We are not all created to be the same.  Nor are our children.  I don't want my baby to turn out to be just like yours.  I want him to turn out to be the man God created him to be.  So this is my parenting plan: Rely on God to give me the strength and wisdom to make choices that are in the best interest of MY child.  And all other advice can stay on the shelf where it belongs.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Preeclampsia, Preemie, and Perfect Ending

It's been 4 months since I announced we were going to have a boy.   And so much has happened...


Baby G4 was born in October.  He was 5 weeks early and weighed 3 lbs 14 oz.  5 weeks prior to his delivery, I was hospitalized and diagnosed with preeclampsia.  I had known it was coming.  That maternal instinct just made me feel in my gut that I was headed down this path.  I even started asking for prayer related to my (not yet diagnosed) preeclampsia in August.  In September, on the day I got admitted to L & D, I felt fine.  Still, I had insisted to everyone that I was going to get admitted that day.  I was right.  At 30 weeks and 2 days of pregnancy, my adventure began.

At L & D, my lab work and blood pressure checked out much better than expected.  I was stable and did not need to be placed in the hospital indefinitely.  After 24 hours, my OB released me to "house arrest."  I was instructed to not leave my house and to not go up my stairs.  My only relief was twice weekly appointments to the OB's office for monitoring.  Oh, and I was told to keep my bags packed in case we needed an emergent delivery or admit to the hospital.  This state of pregnancy/ modified bed rest purgatory miraculously lasted for another 5 weeks.

It all went downhill when I hit 35 weeks.  On Monday I checked out fine, but we could tell from the sonogram that baby was small.  By Thursday, my blood pressure was ridiculously high, my amniotic fluid had virtually disappeared, and the biophysical profile showed that baby had not grown in 2 weeks!  I was immediately admitted to L & D where they hooked me up to monitors.  Within 3 hours, the monitors were showing signs of fetal distress, which earned me a trip to the operating room.

The OR was full of personnel.  I had 2 anesthesiologists, an anesthesia tech, a CRNA, 2 surgeons, multiple nurses, multiple scrub techs, a neonatal nurse practitioner, a NICU tech, and my husband.  There was lots of excitement, but all I could focus on was the blood pressure cuff that was squeezing the life out of my hand.  My blood pressure was so high that every 2 minutes when the cuff squeezed my arm, my fingers would get tingly and my arm would turn purple.  It was awful.  (Plus there was an anesthesiologist who I really wanted to smack for being a jerk.)  But then anesthesiologist #2 showed up.  He made me feel wonderful, massaged my back, and talked me through the entire procedure.  He even worked with the nurses to arrange for me to hold my baby when he was delivered.

When the little guy arrived, he was screaming at the top of his lungs.  It was a very welcomed sound.  A baby with preeclampsia and deep decelerations on the fetal monitor could easily be in bad shape.  But my baby was beautiful, pink, loud, and TINY!  His less than 4 pound self was placed on my chest where he calmed down and cuddled with me.  At the point where I felt that my arms couldn't hold him any more, I handed him off to his daddy who accompanied him to the NICU.  20 hours later, I was finally disconnected from my anti-seizure drugs and was allowed to hold and feed him.  That seemed like the longest day. 

On day 4, I had to be discharged from the hospital without my little guy.  His blood sugar was unstable and jaundice had set in.  I cried and cried.  Leaving labor and delivery without a baby is devastating.

After 9 nights of care from his team of special nurses in the NICU, I officially became the only nurse that my little guy needed.  He was discharged to us on Halloween morning.  Even though I crashed that afternoon and don't remember much about that day, Halloween will forever be a special day for me.  It was the first time my family of 6 was together.  And even though I detest the goblins and zombies, next year we will have to go all-out and celebrate it as our family holiday.

G4 is adorable.  He started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks old.  He cries when he's hungry, but is otherwise a very content child.  He even enjoys watching ball games with his Daddy.  In spite of the high risk pregnancy and prenatal growth issues, he's a healthy beautiful boy!  He is a perfect ending to a hard and high risk ordeal!