Every Mom Has Her Kryptonite

At the beginning of the summer, Mr. Wonderful convinced me to step down from running a committee at church that was seriously eating up my time.  Then, he contacted our music minister and informed him that I needed to take a few weeks off from playing with the band.  In his opinion, between work and church committee and music ministry and small group hosting and homeschooling and stay-at-home mothering of 3 kids full-time and attempting to be a good housewife, I had over-committed. 

I was, admittedly, offended by the fact that Mr. Wonderful thought I needed a break.  By forcing me to stop doing things that I had committed to do I felt that there was an implication that I was failing and he thought I wasn't supermom.  Now, however, I realize that I was truly over-committed and I wasn't even close to being supermom!  I was getting wound up tight and was getting very annoyed with church people and messy children and husbands who work late. I was kind of losing it.

Instead of taking the summer off to relax--as many thought I was doing--I used this summer to finally catch up on life:  I got caught up on some of my work projects by reading through thousands of pages of medical records.  I cleaned up the boys' room and attempted to solve some of their organizational problems.  I sorted through our clothing and purchased appropriate sized pajamas and church clothes for everyone.  I cleaned my own closet and threw out lots of shoes.  I purchased new rugs for our main living rooms.  I planned and hosted small group dinners and a baby shower and organized meals for a family.  I coordinated our small group's service project.  I helped Boy Wonder finish a Phonics workbook.  I sent the boys to sports camp.  I read to my children.  I walked lots and lots of miles at the mall and on my elliptical.  I managed to keep some potted plants on my front porch alive.  I read a book (it was dumb, but it was a book).  I played many, many games of Connect 4 with my son.  I prayed.  I spent time listening to and trying to encourage other people.  And I rested. 

Having the time to actually complete projects that I both wanted and needed to accomplish was invigorating for me.  How refreshing to actually get to see the fruits of my labor!  For 6 months I kept taking on more and more (I have a problem saying "no") and it seemed like nothing was ever getting accomplished.  And then in all of 4 weeks, everything just started falling into place.  I'm finally enjoying my duties again.  I'm ready to start homeschooling this fall.  I'm enjoying spending time helping out at church.  I'm focusing better on work.  I'm motivated to read my Bible.  And I'm happy.

Super man has his kyrptonite.  And super mom has her over-commitment.  We all have our weaknesses.  How blessed I am that I have a Mr. Wonderful who is willing to recognize my shortcomings and intervene when I need him--even when I don't appreciate his interventions.  I truly needed a little break this summer.  His "intervention" was timely a gift.  I still have quite a lot of things that I want to do in the next couple of months, but I can officially say, "Mommy's Back!"

Where Have All the Older Women Gone?

picture from a Juicy Couture Ad Campaign

I snickered as I drafted the title to this post.  Some might think I'm referring to our culture where women are going to extreme measures to look young (although newsflash: if we can tell you had plastic surgery then we think you're old!)  But that's really not the point of this post.  When I'm talking about the "older women" I'm referring to the Titus definition of older women--the ones who are instructed to teach the younger women how to love their husbands and children, etc.

During the last decade of my adult life, I've been blessed with older women in my life who have instructed me as a wife, mother, professional, and Christian woman.  My mom has always filled this role in my life and has been involved in "my business" and has taken it upon herself to provide accountability and counsel.  I appreciate this.  (I also know that there other girls with whom she has stepped in to fill this role for as well--including the girls who work under her at her job.)  Similarly, I've had godly women who I have worked with and under at various jobs who have openly instructed and taken care of me: Judy, Donna, Debbie, Katie, Lisa B., Lisa W.  I will forever be grateful for the care coordinators in Houston who taught me how to be a wife when I was a newlywed.  Who knew that choosing a career as a nurse would have allowed me to be around so many older women who have had such a huge spiritual impact on my life?

That said, the supply of interactive Titus-motivated women seems to have dried up.  Aside from my mom, I'm not sure who I would go to for accountability and discipleship.  As far as I know, no one at my job would be appropriate for this role.  And at church (pretty much the only other place I go) there are plenty of older women, but I don't know of any who would have the time or desire to truly get involved in my life.  But at least I have my mom.  Some other girls at church have recently revealed to me that they don't even have godly mothers from whom they can seek guidance.  Thus, they feel like all they've got is other people their age.

I have no doubt that the Apostle Paul would have been sad and disheartened if he could have overheard the conversation I had with these girls a few weeks ago.  How is it possible that the older women aren't even aware that they are needed?  And I don't mean that they're needed to greet people at church with smiles and hugs.  They're actually needed!  Younger women need to be able to interact with these women by phone or in-person outside of the church setting.  Younger women need guidance and affirmation from older women who have been-there, done-that.  Younger women need to know that there is an older woman who will be there for them when their babies scream all day, their husbands are in a bad mood, and they just need someone to pray over them.  We need older women as living proof that life is doable!

I know that there are godly, older women out there somewhere.  They seem to be able to congregate for Senior luncheons, game nights, Sunday School, and political events.  How cool would it be if these women rallied around the younger women at church and actually made themselves useful teaching the women?  Maybe it's time the senior ladies hosted a play date for us moms.  That would be something wouldn't it?!

Addendum: The Juicy Campaign pic at the top is kind of a dream of mine.  I would so love to be that stylish girl with a group of chic older ladies to have my back!

Mommy Overload

So much has been happening.  I've created a number blog posts in head lately, but my blogging can't seem to keep up with my brain.  At this point, I'm not even sure what to blog about.  I think I'm on Mommy overload.

Too much is going on and I'm having attention problems.  I've tried desperately to not sit and stare at the news for the last few days, but I can't help getting caught up in the Zimmerman trial.  (Despite terrible jokes, his lawyer is making an excellent case for self defense.)  I can't help tuning in to my radio to hear the latest and greatest about the feud between Governor Perry and Wendy Davis (Still can't figure out how she can argue that the Texas Bill is bad for women--it actually protects both women and babies!) I can't seem to stay off decorating websites and HGTV shows.  (Can you blame me?  I'm practically living out House Hunters in real life!)  And on top of all this, I'm packing up my house, planning my son's birthday party, working on some legal cases, keeping up with my 92 day New Testament read-thru, attempting to cook meals with half of my kitchen in boxes, planning out all the logistics of moving, and still trying to be kind to all those around me who seem to have an opinion about everything going on with my life despite it being none of their business. 

Okay, that may have sounded a little harsh.  The truth is that I'm not good at being micromanaged.  I like to figure things out on my own.  And when I want help, I ask for it.  Other than that, I like my space.  The problem with moving is that nobody gives you space and you are completely at the mercy of all other parties involved.  Plus, you get unsolicited advice and opinions from everyone and their brother about what you should or could do with regards to everything from setting up utilities to decorating the new house.

The combination of dealing with other people plus accomplishing everything that  I actually have to do are starting to get to me.  I have to keep envisioning myself in my happy place--standing on the street corner in Waikiki outside of the Coach and Tiffany's stores sipping a latte and listening to IZ's Somewhere Over the Rainbow.  And then I have to give myself the pep talk.  "Just 2 more weeks." 

In 2 weeks, the hard part will be over.  It will be like Finals Week in law school when you've taken your last final and can at least pretend to forget everything you've jammed inside your brain for the past semester.  That feeling of "I can finally relax because nothing is pressing or pending at this time."  Oh how Mommy can't wait to finally relax!  Just 2 more weeks.

Mommy's New Routine

So we've survived another round of house showings this weekend.  I have the utmost sympathy for people who have to do this for months or years while trying to sell their homes.  10 days of getting my house ready to be shown has turned me into a semi obsessive-compulsive cleaner.  You might think that with my type-A personality that this is not unusual.  But trust me, I've never been accused of being a super neat freak.  I've always had the ability to be organized in a messy way (much to the chagrine of my mother).  My disorganization peeked during my last pregnancy to the point where I was encouraged to hire a maid--something that I think is an utter waste of money.  So anyway, this whole keeping-your-house-beautiful thing is rather stressful for me.  And it's a new experience.

Today, however, I was able to do a victory dance.  The realtor who showed our house yesterday informed our realtor that our house was "extremely clean and well staged" so much so that his clients are thinking about making an offer.  Ironically, the only staging that we did was to move a couch and a TV to the garage.  Other than that, the supposed staging is just how we live.  (I abhor clutter and knick knacks.)  The extremely clean part is just the result of my OCD tendecies that are starting to emerge. 

Every morning I go through the same routine.  I dust, vacuum, sweep, spray the bathrooms, wipe the counters, wash the windows, light candles, and do whatever else I feel compelled to do.  Interestingly, my routine has started to get so nuts that some days I even get out the touch-up paint for the walls, spray special cleaner for the floor grout, and scrub my outside gas grill with Clorox.  I know that I'm obsessing over details that nobody really sees. But the longer the house is for sale and the more I clean it, the dirtier it is appearing to me.  Hence the fact that I was bleaching my pantry yesterday.

Needless to say, when the man said that our house was extremely clean, I was shocked.  The first thing I thought of was "Did he see the crayon mark on my son's closet wall?" or "Did he notice the blue speck of paint on the floor in the laundry room?"  My craziness has gotten to the point that I've been having nightmares where people are seeing rooms that have huge spots where I missed paint.  I mean, I'm turning into a nut case!

I've always been somewhat of a germaphobe.  But now that my germaphobe fears are combined with my real estate OCD, a whole new sort of monster is emerging.  Let's hope this monster doesn't go into heart failure when she buys a new home and has to battle with someone else's former mess. Stay tuned...

Covered by Grace

"There but for the grace of God..." John Bradford

Over the past few weeks in our small group at church, we've been discussing "our stories" about how we were saved.  It was wonderful to hear the story of the man who had problems in his family life and with alcohol but completely changed when he found Jesus.  And I got chills when a girl told about how God got her attention when he gave her a word in a dream one night and it just so happened to be what the preacher was talking about the next morning at church (and Malachi is a random topic!)  I can definitely say that hearing personal testimonies of other believers is a way to unite a group and bring them together.  How can you not get excited with your small group when you get to hear how God is at work in all of your lives?!

 

Last week, I shared my story.  I've always kind of dreaded sharing my story in the small group setting, because it doesn't seem earth-shatteringly exciting.  I wasn't radically transformed from a person with a reputation of moral filth and addiction into a hungry Bible-consuming Christian in such a way that it shocked all who knew me.  As a result, I guess I've never felt that my story could really have the same kind of 1-2 punch on somebody's soul like the people who shared the week before me. 

 

But I've come to realize that my story is special and sweet.  Interestingly, it is very similar to my Dad's story...

 

I was saved at the age of 4.  My mom shared the story of the lost lamb with me and explained that I was a sinner who needed Jesus in the same way that the lost lamb needed Jesus.  I believed in Jesus and confessed my sins.  I gave my life to Jesus.  And ever since that time, God has been teaching me and molding me into the person I am today.  As far as I'm aware, I was never a "problem child" and never had the desire to get into any major trouble or illegal activity.  My friends probably considered me to be somewhat of a self-righteous prude, but the truth of the matter was that I honestly didn't have a desire to do what it took to be "cool" among so many of my peers.  I really wanted to obey Jesus.

 

So that's my story.  I'm not an amazing and wonderful person who was just molded out of moral cloth.  Instead, I am blessed to have been covered by grace at an early age.  Just like John Bradford said of a group of prisoners years ago, " But for the grace of God, there goes [me]."  I've certainly had struggles and have been taught numerous lessons by my Creator over the years. But by His grace, I've been able to avoid some utterly destructive paths.

 

I know that my story isn't over yet. Sanctification by Grace is ongoing. God is leading me and will use me as He sees fit.  He's taught me that other people's opinions of my decisions are irrelevant as long as I'm doing what He's called me to do.  And right now, he has me where he wants me for a reason.

 

My prayer is that He has me at home with my children so that they too can be saved at an early age.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if they could be covered by grace so early and protected from worldly filth?  God's grace truly is precious.  And I'm so thankful that it covers me.

Raising a Beautiful Girl

"Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." I Peter 3:3-4

I have a problem.  It's almost like an addiction.  I can't seem to go more than a few weeks before I have this overwhelming urge to find Baby G a new hair bow or headband.  You probably think I'm kidding, but I'm not.  I have baskets full of headbands, bows, and hats for my sweet girl.  And I have enough accessories in my collection that I could probably bling out every girl in the neighborhood.  I think my years as a boy mom has somehow influenced my desire to raise a girly girl.  And it's resulted in this monster who can't resist tulle, pearls, and anything lacy and pink!

 

The other night, my friend, Jenn was sharing about her experiences raising two teenage girls.  She explained that she and her husband felt it was important to emphasize inner beauty and to distinguish inward "beauty" from outward "fancy."  Thus, when her girls dress up and bling themselves out in pretty things, she always compliments them as being "fancy."  But when their character displays beauty, she compliments them as being "beautiful." Jenn's daughters are very pretty and always well dressed, so mom isn't advocating frumpiness.  She's just trying to distinguish beauty of character from magazine-type of beauty. 

 

I'll have to admit, as the mom of a baby girl, I'm relieved that I don't have to get into these deep discussions quite yet.  It had not once crossed my mind that as Baby G gets older, I'm going to have to deal with these issues.  And I'm going to have to make sure that Baby G doesn't think that Mommy only thinks she's beautiful when she's all done up.  I want her to understand that she's beautiful because of who she is and not how she looks.  (Although I do expect her to put herself together and be a good steward of the body that God has given her!)  Part of being a girl mom involves the duty to teach my daughter how to be beautiful both inside and out.  Talk about a high calling?!

 

Jenn's talk the othe night definitely gave me something to think about.  It's okay that I'm slightly obsessed with everything glittery from the toddler department (can you believe that in less than 5 months we've already outgrown the infant section?), but my little girl also needs to learn that there's so much more to being a girl than dressing like a princess.  Being a beautiful girl also involves having a spirit of meekness and modesty, having a submissive heart (vs. 5) and living without fear (vs. 6).  And raising a beautiful girl means teaching my Baby G how to have a beautiful heart.

I Get Leggings

Baby G's newest Juicy sweater and leggings!

 

Last summer, a friend and I took our boys to a jump house full of inflatable contraptions.  The place was full of excited little boys and girls running around like little crazies.  While I was trying to find my two boys in the midst of toddler faces, I kept noticing that the little girls were all wearing these cute little dresses and shorts with leggings.  Somehow, every little girl seemed to be wearing leggings.  At the time, I couldn't figure out why every girl mom had this affinity for leggings.

A few months later, when I found out that I was having a girl, I started shopping for cute little girly clothes.  That's when I noticed that almost every outfit had leggings.  Every store had piles of leggings.  And it seems that every girl is expected to wear leggings.  At the time, it seemed odd.

But now, I get leggings...

When Baby G was a few weeks old, we attempted to dress her up in her frilly dresses in order to get some cute Christmas photos.  Unfortunately, none of her socks or tights fit.  Her skinny little legs just didn't fill out the tights.  I was at a loss, how am I supposed to dress my baby girl in a dress at wintertime if the smallest tights I can find on the market don't fit her?

The answer--leggings!  I know it seems weird, but leggings are a staple in most baby girls' wardrobes, because they're the only leg covering that fit tiny babies.  Plus in a world where diaper covers seem to only come in size "toddler," leggings cover up the diapers and make dresses modest.  This explains why every toddler girl on the planet wears leggings--so they cover up the undies!  

For a boy mom, this revelation was huge.  Leggings aren't just about fashion for most girl moms.  They're actually a necessity.

So the next time all you boy moms wish that you too could buy fun and frilly outfits.  Just know that there is a whole lot more stress to dressing a little girl.  Those frilly outfits only work if you have the right accessories.  Little girls can't just wear tennis shoes and jeans everyday.  Instead, they need the outfit, the matching hair bow (that topic deserves a blog post in itself!), the matching shoes, and the leggings.  What a new and stressful world I have entered!

He Walks With Me

I was stressed out yesterday morning.  I was running on a tight schedule; there was slushy wintery mix on the roads; I had a scheduled doctor's appointment for something that concerned me (turns out everything is fine); I had three hungry kids in the car who were not going to make it to Grandma's as scheduled because every car in my small town insisted on driving 5 miles per hour (no joke!); My car was in need of more gas; My blackberry was exploding with emails from work related to a potential conference call that I was supposed to have with an expert witness; As far as I knew, my grandfather was still unresponsive in a hospital in Michigan (that hasn't changed yet); And a dear friend texted me that the ultrasound of her 37 week baby was not reassuring and that her delivery date has been moved up.  

Just as I was starting to feel the weight of all this, the words of Matt Redman's song Never Once kept looping through my head. I was immediately comforted at the reminder that I haven't been asked to handle all this alone.  My faithful God is literally walking with me through this life.  What a joy to know and have a relationship with the one, true God! 

Standing on this mountaintop 

Looking just how far we've come 

Knowing that for every step 

You were with us 

Kneeling on this battle ground 

Seeing just how much You've done 

Knowing every victory 

Is Your power in us 

Scars and struggles on the way 

But with joy our hearts can say 

Yes, our hearts can say 

Never once did we ever walk alone 

Never once did You leave us on our own 

You are faithful, God, You are faithful 

Scars and struggles on the way 

But with joy our hearts can say 

Never once did we ever walk alone 

Carried by Your constant grace 

Held within Your perfect peace 

Never once, no, we never walk alone 

Every step we are breathing in Your grace 

Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise 

You are faithful, God, You are faithful 

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Mommy Needs a Verse

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." I Corinthians 13:4

I've been trying really hard to get my boys back into our pre-pregnancy routine.  Unfortunately, this is much harder than I imagined.  Mainly, because now there's four of us at home during the day, and our newest addition maintains her own elusive schedule.  Just when I think I've got her figured out, she pulls something crazy and insists on being held all day long.  Managing three children under the age of 5 is harder than it looks.  And even when we act like it's easy, us moms aren't always being honest. Many kudos to those of you who manage more than three children in your posse!

During pregnancy, my temper flared up a lot.  I was hoping this was just related to me being sick, having out of control hormones, and having two little boys destroy my house at the same time.  Well, these days I'm feeling great, the hormones seem to have tapered off, and my house is back in it's proper state (for the most part).  Unfortunately, I find that my quiet and gentle spirit has not magically returned.  Okay, maybe I never actually attained the quiet and gentle spirit in the first place, but the struggle to be that kind of woman has not gotten any easier by adding another sweet baby into the mix.  And of course, when mommy is stressed and crazy, so are her babies--especially the oldest!

As the Mommy, my job is to teach my children how to live, love, and obey.  Whether I like it or not, they mimic my behavior and repeat my words.  Thus, how I behave and speak and demonstrate love in my home is really important.  This also means that I have to control my temper.

I've quickly realized that I need some Mommy verses to meditate on when the smoke is ready to seep from my ears and I think I can spit fire.  (There's nothing worse than a Mommy dragon.)  So right now I'm focusing on I Corinthians 13.  I memorized this passage for the first time in elementary school and have heard it read over and over again.  But this year, I'm clinging to it as my mommy chapter. So if you see me and I'm starting to turn red and you think I'm going to blow, please remind me that "love is patient and kind" and that I need to spend some time with I Corinthians.  

After all, I Corinthians tells us that if we speak the right talk but don't have love, we are like "a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal."  And as every mother knows, the last thing I need or want in my home these days is unnecessary noise from a clanging cymbal!

What Can I Do to Help?

"First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way." I Timothy 2:1-2

Have you ever wanted to help someone else but didn't know how?  I think a lot of people have felt that way recently. My heart breaks for the hundred or so people who have been denied the opportunity to finish the Russian adoption process.  They're being forced to leave their children behind in Russian orphanages, and there's nothing that we can do about it.  And I think about the citizens of North Korea who are captive to a corrupt regime and who are living in poverty beyond our wildest imaginations. Even if we wanted to send them humanitarian aid, we couldn't prevent their government from stealing it from them.  (I'm reading a disturbing book by a Christian who has observed life in North Korea.  More on that in another post).

So often, people have needs that we want to meet, but we just don't know how.  When we see people who have these needs that we can't do anything about, we're often told to donate money to some charitable organization.  And while donating to charity is good and necessary, it still won't solve the hurt and pain that many people experience. This is so frustrating when we want to help, but we just don't know how.

Sometimes, there's nothing that we can physically do to extend relief or aid to other people.  But that doesn't mean that we have no effective measures to help them.  Too often we forget that we have the ability to pray to a mighty God who can do the impossible.  We shouldn't rely on prayer as our back-up plan for helping others.  It should be the first thing that we do.  In fact, as Paul urges us in I Timothy, we are to "pray for all people."

I have been convicted about the fact that I don't pray enough for the needs of others.  When I was working in the hospital as a nurse, I used to start my days off praying for my patients (and literally praying that I wouldn't make a mistake that could harm them.)  But for some reason, when I see someone in need outside of the hospital setting, I don't always start the helping process with prayer.  Yet, praying to God is the most powerful tool that I have to help other people. 

So the next time my heart is heavy and burdened for someone else, I'm going to pray for them before I do anything. I know that my God is great and can provide comfort to those who are hurting and relief to those who are suffering.  My God can do anything, so why not help others by praying for what seems impossible?

Here Comes the Sun

 
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

2012 is almost over.  And I can honestly say that I'm not sad.  The words of the Beatles' song above kind of sums it up for me.  The winter, 2012, is moving out and I'm seeing the sun through the clouds as 2013 nears.

2012 has been a hard year--good, but hard.  The first 2 months of the year were pretty much consumed by studying for and taking the Bar Exam.  Then I had a month of rest.  In April I found out we were expecting Baby #3 and suddenly I was consumed by pregnancy, morning sickness, and every virus you can imagine.  The misery lasted for most of my pregnancy until my blood pressure ultimately went nuts and prompted my doctor to deliver our baby at 37 weeks.  But the next day, child #2 ended up in another ER across town.  Thankfully, by the end of Thanksgiving week, we were all home.  Then 2 weeks later, Mommy got the flu, then the boys got the flu, and we spent the next 2 weeks in quarantine--right up until Christmas.  Ugh, nothing has been easy this year.

But, 2012 was also a year of blessings:

•  Even though we "lost" our church at the end of 2011, in January we found a new church home at The Mount.
• After 3 months of studying like a crazy woman, I DID pass the February Bar exam. I am now officially a nurse attorney.
• Our month of rest in March included a 10 day trip to Hawaii.
• My April-November misery resulted in the birth of our beautiful daughter.
• Despite being MIA from work for most of 2012, at the end of the year I still have a job.
• As it turns out, my boys and I now have immunity to at least 1 strain of the flu this season.
• And I could go on...

I'm sorry that I haven't blogged much this year, but to be frank, I was barely surviving for most of the year.  I spent many months sick in bed and was barely able to keep up with my 2 boys.  Thus, I didn't keep up with housework, blogging, work, and things that I normally do.  Life was literally on hold as we waited for Baby G.

My theme for 2012 was "Family." Although that theme didn't run through my blog as much as I wanted it to, this year really did end up being about family.  Expanding our family, vacationing with our family,  finding a new church family, and enjoying the gift of family.  If there's one thing that I learned this year, it's that I love being a mommy and spending time with my family.  It may not be the easiest job.  And it may take all of my energy.  But my family is worth it. 

I hope you had a fulfilling 2012.  I look forward to sharing with you in 2013!

Where's My Glow?

It's been awhile since I've shared a pregnancy update.  I guess I figured that no one would care to read about my aches and pains and ailments. But surprisingly, people keep asking me to my face how I feel.  I still haven't figured out the best way to respond to that question, because I really just assume that they're being nice.  I'm not sure if anyone wants to know the REAL truth.

Last week I told my pastor (whose wife is 6 months pregnant) that I was day-to-day.  Yesterday I told someone, "well, I'm feeling great today."  But honestly, I think it's safe to say that overall, physically speaking, I'm miserable.  I've had most pregnancy "symptoms" that you will read about in a textbook.  From numbness in my fingers to morning sickness (yes, still!) to contractions that have me doubled over in pain to constant congestion I'm pretty much just enduring these last few weeks.  And I apparently look like I could give birth any minute, because you should see the surprised expressions I get from people when I tell them that I'm actually due in December.  Thank goodness that this isn't my first rodeo.  In about 5-6 weeks, Baby G should be in my arms and my body should be doing it's job to revert to my "normal" state. 

Recently, Dear Husband and I re-watched the movie What to Expect When You're Expecting.  I have to be honest that the first time I watched it, the movie seemed strange and disjointed since it followed so many characters.  But now that I'm pregnant and can totally relate to Elizabeth Banks' character, it's a pretty funny movie.  I love the message it sends--even though we think we know what to expect when we're expecting, the "expecting" experience is an individual and unpredictable experience for every future mommy and daddy.  And we don't all get our glow while being pregnant. 

I have to remind myself of that fact every day.  Because when I see other extremely pregnant women who only have a little "bump," or when I see pregnant women out running, or when I see pregnancy photography of women who really do glow, it's kind of depressing.  I definitely don't have a glow yet.  But I'm confident that the little girl growing inside of me will be my glow very soon.

The Grace Effect--A Must Read

For the last 2 weeks, there have been some rather disturbing stories coming from the Middle East.  There have been assassinations of Americans, protests in the name of religion, and violence.  Of course, this should not come as a shock to anyone--especially evangelical Christians. 

I'm surprised that in light of these events, we haven't heard more from our local atheists.  It's likely that atheists would use these events to demonstrate to us how organized religion is the problem with politics and societies.  After all, aren't all these protests supposedly about a movie insulting another religion?  If there wasn't conflict between religions, would this violence still be occurring?  Yes.  In fact, the violence is indicative of what happens to nations with little evangelical Christian influence.

A few weeks ago, I heard Larry Taunton on the radio discussing the concept of "common grace" and it's effect on a society.  In his recently written book, The Grace Effect, Taunton explains that common grace is "the idea that when there is a significant Christian presence in a given society, it brings tangible benefits not just to the Christian, but to society as a whole."  For example, in the United States, it's not uncommon to see people marching in protest.  But it's rare for these protests to turn violent, bloody, and literally explosive like they do elsewhere in the world.  Taunton points out that the moral sensibilities of our culture stem from a strong tradition of Judeo-Christian values that do not promote violence or chaos.  Instead, he says that our entire country and culture has benefited from the influence of Christianity.

This conversation was enough to peak my interest so that I bought his book.  But when I read it, I literally couldn't put it down.  Mr. Taunton used his family's experience trying to adopt a Ukranian child as the illustration for his contrast of a godless society versus a society that has been touched by "the grace effect."  This book made me laugh. It made me cry.  It gave me a whole other view of Communist Russia.  And it made me take a serious look at the international adoption process (which legally speaking is very fascinating).  But more importantly, it made me realize what an amazing impact that we, as Christ-following Christians can have on our communities and culture and why we should take a true interest in fighting the anti-religious left that seeks to turn our nation in to the next godless regime. 

The Grace Effect is a must read.  To learn more or to order your own copy, visit http://graceeffect.com/.  I promise that you won't be disappointed.

Enjoy the Work Week

I heard an interesting conversation on the radio recently while I was sorting through medical records for work (yes I can multitask).  It was a conversation between a radio talk show host and his guest, who was a friend of the late President Reagan.  The guest (whose name has completely slipped my mind) is apparently known as being a very strong Christian and also a wise economist.  The guest was discussing America's economic crisis, but he also addressed a huge problem that he sees in our country.  That problem is the concept of RETIREMENT.  He said that we create our own problems when we view work as something that we do until the ages of 60-65 and then retire.  Mainly, because we were created to work.

I guess I had never considered the truth that we, as humans, were created to work.  But if you go back to the garden of Eden in Genesis chapter 2, it clearly states that "The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it."  This was before sin.  In God's perfect creation, man was made to work the garden and name the creatures in it.  There's never any mention of the concept that man was created to sleep in, play golf, or to indulge in Creation.  Instead, he had a job to do--and he was given a helper to assist him with that job.  It wasn't until after the fall of man in Genesis 3 that the work became toilsome and hard. 

This point about us as humans being created to work is interesting to me in light of the John Piper book I just finished reading entitled, Don't Waste Your Life.  In it, John encourages believers to not waste their lives working so that they can spend the last 30 years in stagnation and personal serenity.  Instead, he encourages all believers to view their lives as tools for the ministry at all stages of life.  He specifically calls out to those in the workplace and retirees to stay busy doing kingdom work.

As I reflected on the radio conversation I heard and the book I read, it occurred to me that I have been blessed by examples of godly men in my life.  Both of my grandfathers have stayed busy post-retirement working and making a difference in the lives of others.  One actually went oversees on short terms missions and has faithfully led Bible studies in his local nursing homes for years.  The other has worked in a variety of jobs--including a funeral home--and has been not only a glowing example of a godly father and husband, but has also been an encourager to others.  As if on cue, when my own father retired from 30+ years with one company, he went back to school and took a new job handling financial auditing for lots of local churches and faith-based non-profits.  And despite years of hard work, these men all seem happy.  It's because they're doing what they were created to do--WORK.  And not only that, but they're all doing God-honoring, kingdom work!

I used to think that I was a sick person because I like to work (this includes Mommy work).  But maybe I'm just experiencing the satisfaction of doing what I was created to do.  What an awesome truth to consider this week as I am mopping my floors, doing the laundry, bathing my toddlers, answering emails and meeting my professional work deadlines.  I can be filled with joy and contentment knowing that I am doing what I was created to do: to glorify God in my work! 

And to all you fellow kingdom workers in whatever vocation or household role that you fill, have a great week too, knowing that as you work, you are obeying your Creator!!!

Praying for Him

Have you ever noticed that some people are hard to pray for?   It's not that you don't want to pray for that person, but sometimes you don't know how to go about praying for that person.   Or maybe you pray for that person frequently, but you kind of pray the same thing every day.  I've noticed that it's really easy to fall into this rut when you're praying for family members.

Our church started a prayer system this spring, and I've found it extremely helpful.  The men of our church have been praying for their wives, and us wives have been praying for our husbands with the assistance of websites: http://www.prayingforher.com/ and http://www.prayingforhim.com/. Both websites are sponsored by the National Prayer Room.  And when you sign up for the program, you are sent a daily challenge and scripture to help guide your prayers for your spouse for that day. 

I haven't quite finished my 31 day challenge, but my husband (who started his prayer program a month before I even knew about it) says that you can continue the prayer emails after the first month for free (although you might be asked for an optional donation at that point--just thought I'd warn you). 

Anyway, if you're looking for a way to spice up your prayer life or just want to pray for your spouse differently than you have been praying, consider starting your own 31 day program.  We've enjoyed discussing our prayer assignments together and have really appreciated the accountability. 

Big Girls Like Tea Parties Too

 
So technically, I didn't officially celebrate National Princess Week last week.  But I did attend a large (and lovely) tea party.  The ladies at my church threw a rather lavish party on Saturday morning and invited a special guest to lead worship and share from her heart during our party.  It was fantastic!

Each table at our event was sponsored by a woman in the church who apparently got the memo that this was a very Southern event.  The room was covered in china and bling!  Each table had it's own flashy china pattern with matching tea pots and fine cutlery.  And of course there were flowers EVERYWHERE.  Not only that, but there were silk flowers, pictures of flowers, curtains with flowers, and flower, flowers,  more flowers!  I'm telling you this event was sooooo Southern.  To top it off, our menu came directly from Southern Living Magazine.  Yummy!  (Unfortunately, it never crossed my mind to take pictures).

The amazing thing about this event was the fact that it reflected the multi-generational population of our new church. At my table, we had a woman from every life stage--a grandmother, a mom of college/high school kids, a mom of elementary/middle schoolkids, a toddler mom, an expectant mom, a newlywed, and a mother who was cracking us up telling us how nervous she was about her oldest child's upcoming nuptials.  It was so fun to share a morning with what seemed like a random group of women.  But it wasn't random at all.  We may not have known each other well, but we all found ways that our lives connected.  And I know that I was encouraged by my new friends.

Historically, I've been a little hesitant to attend ladies' functions. But I was reminded this weekend how refreshing fellowship can be when we share our lives with other Christian women who are filled with the love of Jesus! 

The Mommy Wars are Still Raging!

I think I almost fell off my bed yesterday morning while watching the news when I heard what a famous Democrat said about Ann Romney.  (If you don't know what I'm talking about, you really need to watch the news--it was everywhere yesterday.)  Anyway, this lady said that Mrs. Romney has no business telling her husband how women feel about the economy since Mrs. Romney never worked a day in her life.  Thus, inferring that women who stay at home with their children don't have a clue about the economy.  Oh Puleeeeze!

As a stay-at-home mom, I am most definitely in touch with the economy.  I may not go to the office everyday, but I don't live in a bubble.  I buy groceries.  I get gas.  I know how expensive it would be to send my children to day care, preschools or private school.  I write the checks to pay our medical bills.  I go to the pharmacy and buy our medication. I decide whether I can afford to get my child an Easter outfit.  I decide whether I can afford to sign him up for museum school.  Trust me, being a stay-at-home mom definitely qualifies me to have an opinion on the economy.  After all, my family income is significantly less than it would be if I didn't stay home.  I live in the economy every day.

I don't understand why working women have such a problem with stay-at-home moms.  And on the same note, I don't understand why many stay-at-home mommies seem to have a grudge against working moms.  As a hybrid--working mom who stays home all day, I get to experience the best and worst of both lifestyle choices.  Regardless of what a woman chooses, her decision isn't easy and she'll always wonder what life would be like on the other side of the fence.  And for those of us in the middle, straddling the fence is tricky.  You have no idea how hard it is for me to explain to other mommies why play dates don't fit well into my schedule while also explaining to my co-workers why it's really hard for me to drop everything for unscheduled meetings in the office.   Being a mom is hard in general.  Let's stop making harder on each other.

It is my experience that being a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean that you're a dummy.  After all, I've met some very brilliant professionals who have given up careers to take on the challenge of running their homes.  I've also met some uneducated, yet creative mommies who could have been amazingly successful "in the real world" but chose to express their creativity in the home.  All of these women have something to contribute to society.  We all have opinions and experiences that we can use to teach each other.  So let's not decide a woman's worth based upon whether or not she gets a paycheck.  After all, as Hilary Rosen proved herself yesterday, some women who get paychecks would be better off keeping their uneducated opinions to themselves!

Don't Pick Bluebonnets? (Part 2)

Someone sent me an e-mail this morning that was pretty funny in light of yesterday's blog post where I explained that it is not illegal to pick bluebonnets.  Let's just say that after you see these pictures, you might understand why Texans make a big deal about NOT picking bluebonnets.  Maybe the tall tale has served Texans well...

I didn't even attach the grossest picture!  But I think you get the point.  Be careful around the Texas Bluebonnets and don't mess with Texas.

Mommies Need to Give a Rip

What are you doing during that 5pm E/4pm C time slot every afternoon?  Since Oprah's been off the air for awhile, I'm just curious what stay-at-home mommies are watching these days.  For the most part, the 4pm hour on my television is filled with trash. (Who really wants to watch Dr. Oz, a.k.a, the Quack?)  That said, I have one show that I highly recommend.  It's The Five on the Fox News Channel.  Everyday they provide news and commentary on what's happening in the world--and yes, it is fair and balanced. 

Now I know that there plenty of moms who would say, "but isn't it better to watch Martha Stewart or Nate so that I can get some craft and styling tips?"  And of course the answer is NO! 

For years mommies and housewives have ignored the happenings in "the real world."  And now these same mommies are shocked when they hear that schools across the country are telling students that the lunches that their mommies pack are unhealthy. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you're really out of touch and need to watch the news.)  Yes, it's scandalous that our public schools are telling children that their parents suck at being parents.  But it's not surprising!  If mommies really tried to follow politics, they might have seen this coming...

Listen, I know that we're all busy cooking, cleaning, crafting, studying, driving our children all over town, etc..  But we cannot be ambivalent towards politics, and we certainly can't be ignorant.  There are people who really do want to tell mommies how to raise their children--history shows that they've been trying for decades.  Unfortunately, these people having been fighting to control our families while American families have been doing very little to fight back. As we saw in Germany during the 1920's and 1930's, when people allow the government to take control of their lives, governments go wild with power and abuse it. Let's not be so naive to believe that we can do nothing and maintain our freedom. 

So what can we, as busy mommies do?  How can we keep the government out of our pantries and lunchboxes? 

1) Be informed.  Watch the news (preferably nothing by NBC which is slanted by groups like Media Matters).

2) Read. Pick up a nonfiction book by a conservative like Mark Levin, Ann Coulter, Dennis Prager (my personal favorite).

3) Take a class on American History or the Constitution.  Hillsdale College is currently offering a free 10 week course on the Constitution online.  Go here to register before February 20: http://constitution.hillsdale.edu/.

4) Support a non-profit entity that is fighting for our religious and family freedoms. 

5) Vote.  Actually figure out who is on your ballot and what they stand for.  Then vote for the conservative people you like best.  Don't be bullied by the media.  You have a voice, so use it.  When people think for themselves, good candidates like Rick Santorum actually win!

6) Either know everything going on in your child's school, or educate your child yourself.  This goes for public and private schools.  You are responsible for what goes into your child's head.  Don't let your child get brainwashed from someone who has no morals.

7) Talk to other moms about these issues.  You might think that your public schools are great or that your neighbors think the same way you do. But you might be surprised.

Mommies have one of the most important jobs in this world.  We've got to start taking our roles seriously.  We don't need psychologists and nutritionists to tell us how to be good moms.  I've seen the blogs out there of extraordinary mothers who are creative and intelligent.  It's time that these mommies channel their skills to do more than decorate their houses.  Let's tell the government to back off and get out of our kitchens and to leave our children alone! 

For other ways to get involved visit http://thekitchencabinet.us/.

Real Mommies Do Exist

Even though motherhood is like a wonderful box of chocolates packaged in a nice little bow, it can also be a mess.  Of course there are days when my little posse and I hit the town in matching outfits and have a fun little lunch date at our favorite Chinese restaurant.  These days create those perfect memories of motherhood.  But then there are those days when one child vomits all over the place, the other child wets the bed, and the Mommy has a complete meltdown because she's only had 2 hours of sleep.  This is the picture of motherhood that so many of us moms try to hide.  Surely you've seen these blog pages where women only post the beautiful pics of their home and children.  Trust me, they're hiding the truth--those "other" days are not making it into their blogs.

I think it's good when Moms are willing to share their real life experiences.  Unfortunately, too often we're only willing to share the stories that give us the image of the "perfect mother."  But let's be clear, there is no such thing as the perfect mother.  And other people do benefit when they hear that we struggle just as much as they do. 

For that very reason, I have to thank Susanna Foth Aughtmon for writing All I Need is Jesus & A Good Pair of Jeans: The Tired Supergirl's Search for Grace.  I must admit that I thought the title of this book was kind of sacrilegious and I almost didn't read it. But I'm actually glad I did.  In her book, Mrs. Aughtmon shares real life stories of her spiritual and physical struggles as a woman trying to live her life to the glory of God.  In each chapter she shares a vividly funny story about a struggle in her life, and then she proceeds to share a passage in Scripture that directly addresses her issues.  As a not-so-perfect mother myself, I appreciated her honesty in the book, but I also appreciated her discussion of each convicting Bible passage that is absolutely relevant to my life as well.  Forget the Chicken Soup--this book is like Red Bull for the Mommy's Soul.  Thanks Mommy Aughtmon! For more information on her books, you can visit her blog at http://tiredsupergirl.blogspot.com/ or click on the link under the blogs that I follow.

So whatever you're doing today, take heart in knowing that there are other moms out there who are dealing with snot and sniffles, crazy work schedules, cleaning up after puppies, explaining to their children that they will NOT be resuming their work-out routines until March (my son is ticked that I haven't been working out lately), and baking frozen pizza for dinner.  Yes, real moms exist--and we're not all baking elegant Valentine's Day cookies on a sunny day in February.  Instead, we're doing our best to fulfill our Mommy duties as we walk in the grace of our Lord and Savior.