My Mission Statement

"You, my [sisters], were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." Galatians 5:13

The personality tests have revealed that I am an uptight, type A person.  But I never realized how embarrassingly anal I am until I decided that I needed a plan  for this next phase of my life.  I function well when I have established goals and objectives to meet my goals.  I know, it sounds like I run my life like a business.  You haven't seen my daily planner...

Yesterday was a milestone for me.  When I hit the send button at 4 o'clock yesterday, I officially turned in my last law school project, thus completing the 87 credit hours and 30 community service hours that I need to graduate from law school.  For the first time ever, I have no external commitments (other than church) in my life.  I am finally free. 

Now, I have to figure out what to do with myself.  Trust me, an organized planner cannot just live day to day without a mission statement.  So I sought out a verse that I could use to inspire me.  And Galatians 5:13 is perfect.  I am truly free from external constraints of work and school, but I need to make it my mission to not waste my time and indulge in sinful pursuits.  I can't be the high maintenance housewife who pampers herself and runs around town with her girl friends getting into trouble.  Instead, I need to use my time to serve others.

This isn't just my calling as a mother.  As a believer in Jesus Christ I am no longer enslaved to the world or to the ritualistic rules of religion either.  Jesus has given me the gift of freedom, and He wants me to use it to serve others.  What a great mission!  If you're a believer, please consider the gift of the freedom you have too.  It's amazing to be free at last.  Now, let's not ruin a good thing.

Accepting Trouble

"...Yet another messenger came and said, 'Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are all dead'...His wife said to him, 'Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!' He replied, 'You are talking like a foolish woman.  Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?' In all this, Job did not sin in what he said."  Job 2:18-19, 9-10

photo cutesy of NSSL

Last week some awful winds swept through the South.  Now, towns and neighborhoods are completely gone.  Listening to the stories of the survivors and hearing about all the people who didn't make it is just heart wrenching.  I mean, when a tornado hits, there's not much you can do.  It chooses its own path and the people are at its mercy.

As I was reading my Bible today, I was struck by the fact that Job's children died at the mercy of the wind, which collapsed their house.  The news of their deaths must have been devastating for Job.  Much like some of the people in Alabama, the man lost everything.  Yet when he had the chance to moan and groan and feel sorry for himself, he didn't.  Instead, he explained that we have to be willing to accept the good and the bad. 

What amazing faith!  I know there are days when I seem to have trouble accepting the good from God.  Having to accept the bad is scary.  But God didn't leave Job in the gutter. At the end of his story it says that "After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before...The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first." (Job 42:10, 12)  This isn't God's promise that everyone who struggles is going to get rich.  Instead, this story serves as a reminder that if we trust God and accept the good with the bad and maintain that testimony, God will honor that.

Let's not forget to pray for those in Alabama.  And let's remember to thank God for the good and the bad in our own lives.

Life isn't a Scheduled Delivery

"Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lords' will, we will live and do this or that.'" James 4:13-15

 When I was expecting my second child, I had a scheduled delivery all planned out.  We chose the birth date, the time of delivery, and we had coordinated the delivery around my school schedule.  I would finish final exams one week.  Then a week later I would have a baby.  Then, I would have all summer to be home with my little guy.  My type A personality was very happy with this plan.

But it didn't really work that way.  I went into preterm labor a week before finals.  I was on medication to stop my labor all through my exam period.  And those pills messed me up--I had hot flashes, heart palpitations, shakiness, and I was really revved up.  I just knew that my water would break at school, and I groaned every time I thought about the possibility.  I was at the point where whatever happened would happen and I couldn't do anything about it, except go with it.

Aren't we all really at that point?  James reminds us that we can't really plan ahead for anything.  All we can do is live each day doing what God wants us to do that day.  Just as I knew that God would work out school and labor and baby issues, God will work out life too.  His Word is a "lamp unto our feet" taking us each step of the way.  We just have to trust Him.  We have to stop trying to direct our own lives, because life is not a scheduled delivery--it's more like spontaneous labor.

Oh, and spontaneous labor did happen for me.  My water ended up breaking a few days before my scheduled delivery, and 4 days after my last exam.  God gave me a happy, healthy boy and he also gave me the best semester grades of my entire law school career.  I just had to stop planning and trust that God would work it out.

Life as I Know it is Over...

Life as I know it is over.  As I mourn the loss of normalcy in my house over the next few days, my husband couldn't be happier.  For the first time since last October, he's excited.  That's right ladies and gentlemen, today is Opening Day!

My Tivo is already set to start recording ball games from 2 pm to 10 pm tonight.  My husband will start wearing his Andrus jersey on a daily basis.  He'll start grilling hot dogs and hamburgers twice a week.  His sporadic trips to the batting cages will turn into weekly rituals.  Movie night will turn into excuses to watch Major League, Eight Men Out, and Field of Dreams.  And my baby will know the words to Take Me Out to the Ballgame by his first birthday.

Oh, don't feel sorry for me.  I signed up for this when I married a baseball player.  I knew that baseball fans are hardcore when I got married.  They're worse than football fans, because they don't have one game a week.  Baseball is EVERY night.  The fans are more dedicated than basketball fans, because they actually sit through 100 degree afternoons to watch their games.  And hockey fans?  Well, they're Canadian and that's about all I need to say...

Anyway, the Major League Baseball season starts today.  The Texas Rangers open their season tomorrow at home against the Red Sox at 3:05 pm.  My husband is soooo excited.  He told me that this week is like having Christmas and his birthday in the same week. (Good thing he didn't compare it to our anniversary.)  I guess this is a good thing. He's happy!  I guess it's time to sit back, catch some sun, and watch as the boys play ball!

5 Ways to Be a Good Wife

"She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:12

When I first read this description of the Excellent Wife in Proverbs, I thought that this was obvious.  Shouldn't every wife want to do good for her husband?  But then I realized how important this is.  This wife doesn't just do good for her husband, but she does good all the days of her life.  She doesn't do evil to him, EVER.  She doesn't divorce him, threaten him, manipulate him, nag him, or belittle him.  She does good to him for her entire life. 

While studying this verse, I found a sermon on point. See Sermon Central to read the manuscript.  The preacher, George Dillahunty, explained that a wife should strive to do good to meet the needs of her husband.  This can be hard to do, because first, you have to know what your own husband needs.  After 6 1/2 years of marriage, I'm still learning what my man needs.  And maybe that's because his needs change over time.  But my job is to figure it out and to meet his needs.

In the Proverbs 31 sermon I found, the preacher listed 5 ways that a wife can meet some basic needs of her husband. They are the following:

1. A wife must provide physical intimacy to her husband.

2. A wife must respect her husband.

3. A wife must give encouragement.

4. A wife must take care of her appearance.

5. A wife must be a good mother.  (A husband can't fulfill this role with his children.)

If you are not a wife yet, I hope this blog post will show you that this isn't a job to be taken lightly.  If it were easy, there wouldn't be so many divorces.  If you are a wife, remember to always do good to your husband.  I know that I need to work on a few of these areas.  I'm not a perfect wife, but I hope that someday my husband can say, "she did good to me all the days of her life."

I'm a Domestic Relations Manager

Let's be honest. When a woman tells you she's a stay-at-home mom or a homemaker you don't have a clue what she's like.  If she told you that she was a doctor you could surmise that she was smart, dedicated, and an over-achiever.  If she told you she was a teacher you'd know she was good with kids, compassionate, and could probably tutor your child.  If she told you she was a lawyer you'd probably figure that she argues well, is rarely intimidated, and could draft you a will or sue your neighbor for you.  But what is a stay-at-home mom?

I don't think anybody respects the title homemaker or stay-at-home mom anymore.  And I don't think those titles really do justice to the women who have them.  I mean, I'm technically a stay-at-home mom, but I don't stay home all day.  I spend time running around town with my kids, helping out at church, having coffee meetings with girlfriends and I go to law school too.  And I would never call myself a homemaker either.  Just because I clean the house I live in, and I cook and do laundry for the people who live there, doesn't mean that I make the home.  It's the people who make the home. And what's a housewife?  As opposed to a non-housewife?  If you watch The Real Housewives series on Bravo you'll realize that the term housewife means absolutely nothing!

It's time for stay-at-home moms to adopt titles for themselves that accurately describe what they do!  If the hospital janitor can call himself a sanitation engineer and the nursing assistant can call herself the patient advocate specialist, then maybe it's time for moms to rethink their titles. Just because society can't think of descriptive ways to communicate the value of a wife doesn't mean we have to accept the stay-at-home mom title and stereotype.

The next time someone asks what I do for a living I was thinking about telling them that I'm a Domestic Relations Manager.  Or maybe a Household Economist.  Or maybe a Freelance Family Specialist.  Any other suggestions?

Parenting is Not for the Faint of Heart

"Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death." Proverbs 19:18 NIV

Wow! This verse kind of says it all.  If we don't discipline our children, we are an accessory to their downfall.  And the message is clear.  We have to discipline our children.  We don't negotiate.  We don't tolerate.  We don't just pray and hope they act like good people.  We must discipline.

I think a lot of moms feel like the task of disciplining belongs to fathers.  But they're wrong.  Justice is swift, consistent, and needs to be done when the child can connect their bad act with the consequences of the action.  That means that it's ok to spank your child when he's screaming in Super Target.  I mean, come on, you can't use time-out at Super Target.  Yes, it is legal for a parent or grandparent to spank in Texas, even in public places!  Section 9.61 of the Texas Penal Code and section 151.001 of the Texas Family Code both discuss the parental right and DUTY to discipline one's child. (But these sections do not apply to Foster children.)

§ 9.61. PARENT-CHILD.

(a) The use of force, but not 
deadly force, against a child younger than 18 years is justified:
  (1)  if the actor is the child's parent or stepparent or 
is acting in loco parentis to the child;  and
  (2)  when and to the degree the actor reasonably 
believes the force is necessary to discipline the child or to 
safeguard or promote his welfare. 

§ 151.001. RIGHTS AND DUTIES OF PARENT.  (a) A parent of a 
child has the following rights and duties:
  (1)  the right to have physical possession, to direct 
the moral and religious training, and to designate the residence of 
the child;
  (2)  the duty of care, control, protection, and 
reasonable discipline of the child;

Just keep reminding yourself (I have to do this a lot), that if I discipline my son per the instructions of Proverbs, there is hope!

How to be a Successful Woman

"Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established."  Proverbs 16:3 NASB

Every woman needs to have this verse written in a place where she can see it frequently.  I know that I get so worried sometimes about whether I'm making decisions that are right for my career or my long-term goals, but Proverbs reminds us to let God handle it.

I was blessed with the opportunity to have lunch with a dear group of ladies from church yesterday and was struck by the fact that many of us have the same issues.  A few of the ladies work full-time, some are stay-at-home moms, some volunteer or do part-time work.  And then there's me, the perpetual student.  Despite our differences, I think we all wonder if we're doing enough.  You know, we wonder if we ought to be doing more in the community or if we should have our children involved in more activities for their own personal growth.  As women, we often don't know when to stop planning or worrying.  Isn't planning and being prepared our job?

According to Proverbs, our job is to commit what we're doing to God and He will work out the details.  He'll show us when we need to take on more or what we need to do to be successful.  I like the NIV interpretation of this verse, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."  Success is in God's hands. 

Far Above Jewels

"An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels?" Proverbs 31: 10 NASB

I love the description of the wife in Proverbs 31.  This Proverb is an exaltation and honor to womanhood and the capable wife.  I believe that God inspired the writer to describe this wife's worth as far above jewels because He knew that women get this description.  We love jewels. We love bling. We understand that it is an honor to be compared to something rare and precious.

It's so inspiring to know that doing seven loads of laundry and changing stinky diapers can give me worth.  Society has tried so hard to diminish the value of the stay-at-home mom.  (We've all heard about the girl who is barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen!)  Yet God's Word serves as a reminder that there is a special role for the wife in the home.  It's hard.  It involves sleepless nights.  It involves community service.  It involves good money management skills.  It involves an entrepreneur's spirit.  And it requires energy.  But the Bible says that this job is worth more than precious jewels.

I've had to learn that the salaries posted on job boards are meaningless.  I can earn a set amount of money and be of some worth to a company or employer.  But my worth to my husband and children is more than the value of precious jewels if I can fulfill my duty as wife and mother.  I'm thinking that being a salaried professional doesn't sound so great when I can be a rare and precious jewel as a wife.