My Rehabilitation in Christ

"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

I sat in a courthouse today and read about juvenile law for about an hour.  I was struck by how much discretion is given to prosecutors and judges when children are being tried for crimes and delinquent acts.  The research article I was reading made the point that we need these discretionary systems in juvenile law if we want to rehabilitate the children that can be rehabilitated and if we want to protect society from the children who can't be rehabilitated.  The hardest part about juvenile law is figuring out who can be rehabilitated.  The jury is still out on that one...

When I read Ephesians chapter 2 today, I was struck by the fact that we, as sinful human beings, are considered dead as a result of our sin.  On our own, we cannot be rehabilitated.  But God, our Judge, had mercy on us.  He sent Jesus Christ to suffer the consequences of our sins (and to raise again) so that we have the chance to be rehabilitated.  Ephesians tells us that we could never be rehabilitated by our own works.   Instead, our rehabilitation occurs when we have faith in God--when we believe that He has extended His grace to us through His Son. 

That is truly amazing grace!  Can you imagine a human judge telling a convicted criminal that he can be acquitted because the judge's innocent son will serve the criminal's sentence instead?  And then not even requiring the criminal's free status to be probationary or contingent on his future actions?  That is never going to happen in our justice system. 

I'm so thankful that God is rich in mercy and love. And I'm so glad I have been rehabilitated in Christ!

Texas Does Some Things Right

One perk of being married to a lawyer is getting to go to work with him when he travels.  This week we visited some places that could have been named Nowhere, Texas.  Of course, my version of the middle of nowhere is  a place that is an hour from the nearest Walmart or Super Target.  To be honest, I'm not sure I could handle living in Nowhere, Texas.  I'm too much like Lisa Douglas, the attorney's wife in Green Acres, because "city life is the life for me."

That said, there's something beautiful about the smaller towns in Texas.  Somehow, despite all our technological advances and cultural changes, the small towns have managed to maintain a charming, historic vibe.  Plus, the people are friendly, you feel safe, and the scenery is amazing!

Cameron was one of the larger towns on our tour and it didn't disappoint.  It is home to the beautiful Milan County Courthouse. 

When I wondered inside the building, I felt like I had walked into a Grisham novel.  It was beautiful!  I think I was actually living history.

Ok, my reaction might be surprising to some people.  I mean, it was just a courthouse.  But Texas does courthouses right.  They're architecturally pleasing and the historical societies have done amazing work to preserve them.  Even in the small towns of Texas, justice is served in some beautiful places.

I'm a Domestic Relations Manager

Let's be honest. When a woman tells you she's a stay-at-home mom or a homemaker you don't have a clue what she's like.  If she told you that she was a doctor you could surmise that she was smart, dedicated, and an over-achiever.  If she told you she was a teacher you'd know she was good with kids, compassionate, and could probably tutor your child.  If she told you she was a lawyer you'd probably figure that she argues well, is rarely intimidated, and could draft you a will or sue your neighbor for you.  But what is a stay-at-home mom?

I don't think anybody respects the title homemaker or stay-at-home mom anymore.  And I don't think those titles really do justice to the women who have them.  I mean, I'm technically a stay-at-home mom, but I don't stay home all day.  I spend time running around town with my kids, helping out at church, having coffee meetings with girlfriends and I go to law school too.  And I would never call myself a homemaker either.  Just because I clean the house I live in, and I cook and do laundry for the people who live there, doesn't mean that I make the home.  It's the people who make the home. And what's a housewife?  As opposed to a non-housewife?  If you watch The Real Housewives series on Bravo you'll realize that the term housewife means absolutely nothing!

It's time for stay-at-home moms to adopt titles for themselves that accurately describe what they do!  If the hospital janitor can call himself a sanitation engineer and the nursing assistant can call herself the patient advocate specialist, then maybe it's time for moms to rethink their titles. Just because society can't think of descriptive ways to communicate the value of a wife doesn't mean we have to accept the stay-at-home mom title and stereotype.

The next time someone asks what I do for a living I was thinking about telling them that I'm a Domestic Relations Manager.  Or maybe a Household Economist.  Or maybe a Freelance Family Specialist.  Any other suggestions?

The Christian Race Across America

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

At one point in my life I considered myself to be a runner. After 2 kids and 4 years of sedentary work, I'm just now building back up my endurance level.  I try to do aerobic exercise for 1 hour a day, either pushing 50 lbs of children around my neighborhood for a couple of miles or maintaining a steady pace for 5-6 miles on my elliptical.  The key to successfully completing my task is to work out at a good pace, wear good shoes,  ensure that I have a complete hour set aside to work out and of course I have to have inspiration.  My mom inspires me, and I want to look as good as she does when I'm her age.  And my goal is to reach a certain number on the scale.  I'm not quite there yet, but I'm making good progress. 

Although my regimen isn't perfect, it's a picture of how I'm supposed to be living my Christian life.   I'm supposed to prepare myself by laying aside sin and distractions.  I'm supposed to live a lifestyle that can be maintained with endurance.  And I'm supposed to look to Jesus as my inspiration and my goal.  He lived this life, He suffered my penalty, He overcame death and humanity and now He is seated at the right hand of God. Talk about the ULTIMATE example.

I think sometimes I run the Christian relay or the sprint.  You know, I get all revved up and excited but then get tired and discouraged and let life drag me down.  It's easy to do when people close to you let you down.  Or work gets in the way.  Or when you get sick.

But I'm ready to start living my Christian Race Across America.  Have you seen the guy who is running 40 miles a day across America? (Check out Regis and Kelli).  I want to be able to maintain my lifestyle and my Bible study.  So I've started by sharing my goals with a few people.  Then I laid aside my first encumbrance.  Hopefully this time next year I'll still be running strong...

A Thorn in My Flesh

"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Have you ever felt weak?  You know, you feel like you've done everything you could possibly do to fix a situation but then you realize that it's completely out of your hands.  Or there are times when you've done the right thing, and then things still didn't go right despite knowing you were doing exactly what you were supposed to do.  Those situations and times are given to us to show us our weaknesses. 

The Apostle Paul described his weakness as "a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me--to keep me from exalting myself" (vs.7) and he wrote verses 9 and 10 as an explanation that the weaknesses are given to us to show us God's strength.  Because when we recognize the power of Jesus Christ who dwells in us, we will see that our weaknesses are insignificant.  By ourselves we really our weak and bruised.  But with God, we can have strength and power.

Let's stop obsessing over and holding on to our weaknesses.  Let's give them to God and let's recognize that God can display His strength and power in our lives.

March Madness: The Cinderella Story for Men

March is about the Cinderella Story. It's where guy's dreams and girls' fairy tales come together because of a ball and a basket.  March is about the American dream.  March is about college spirit.  And March is about the madness.

Ok, in girl terms, March is the perfect time of year to express your femininity and your sports knowledge.  And if you're so not understanding what I'm talking about, it's a great time to fake being a sports fan, but faking it so no one will know any better.  Here's how:

1. Go to http://espn.go.com/ and click on the bracket challenge.  (You have to do this by noon tomorrow or else you've missed the deadline.)

2. Fill out your bracket.  Invite that special man in your life to fill out his.  Then print the brackets and hang them on the refrigerator.

3. Keep track of who you picked and start cheering for those teams when the games start on Thursday.  Keep cheering until the end of the tournament.

4. Have a party or invite your man to watch the national championship basketball game with you. 

Once you follow these steps, you'll discover that you can actually talk sports with your man.  You'll have a vested interest in the teams you pick and can argue that they're going to win.  The NCAA tournament is unpredictable and the "Cinderella Story" is what everybody talks about.  Every guy wants a 12 seeded team to find it's fairy godmother during March.  Every guy wants that team to magically win each round and make it to the Final Four. 

So pick a lower seeded team to make it to the Final Four.  Then pick some safe bets (1 seeds are always safe).  And then just have fun.  Even if you've never shown interest in college basketball before, your man will notice and appreciate your effort.  And you can have fun being a college basketball fan.  Even if you didn't go to college, pick a school and a mascot and enjoy the March Madness!

Making the Most of the Opportunity

"Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned, as it were, with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person." Colossians 4:5-6

I love how Paul says that we should "make the most of the opportunity" when he refers to our conduct with unbelievers.  We are to use wisdom and carefully consider how our conduct will influence unbelievers.  And then we make sure that our speech is like salt, preserving our testimony.  In Bible times, salt wasn't used to make french fries taste better, but it was used to prevent food from spoiling.  Thus, our speech is to be a preservative for our testimony.

When was the last time you considered how your conduct and speech would influence unbelievers?  I'm in my 4th year of graduate school and am surrounded by many unbelievers.  This verse has been a challenge to me, to make sure that I remember to maintain my testimony while showing love to unbelievers.  But sometimes when I'm not thinking about it,  I  forget that my conduct and speech still important. For example, I'm pretty sure my response to the telemarketer I talked to yesterday was not speech, like salt.  It was much more acidic and it ended abruptly when I hung up.

For stay-at-home moms and people who don't have a regular group of unbelievers to be around.  We need to make the most of the opportunities we do have.  So when someone rings your door bell to sell you cookies, or when the girl at the Target check-out counter wants to talk.  Let's conduct ourselves with wisdom and make the most of the opportunity by speaking words of salt!

"Stinkies are Hard Mommy!"

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thessalonians 5: 16-18

The apostle Paul was my kind of guy.  He was a straight shooter and got right to the point.  The instructions he wrote to the church in Thessalonica were simple: 1) Rejoice always; 2) Pray without ceasing; 3) In everything give thanks.   It sounds so easy, but we make it so hard for ourselves to follow these simple commands.

It reminds me of potty training.  I have a very intelligent toddler who knows what he's supposed to do on the toilet.  But for some reason, he refuses to use the potty and instead cries almost every time I have to change a stinky diaper.  He tells me every time that "stinkies are hard mommy!"  And every time, I tell him that if he would just use the toilet he wouldn't get diaper rash and he wouldn't need me to change his stinky diapers.

I wonder how often God says, "if you would only follow the simple commands I give you, then your life would be so much easier."  The commands are simple.  Rejoice, pray and give thanks.  For some reason, I think we too often wear the Christian pull-ups and have to deal with the stinkies because we won't obey.  It's time to follow the simple commands and embrace the kind of life that God wants us to have.

5 Staples for Every Real Woman's Wardrobe

I'm sure you've all watched the Today Show or Oprah when they have the segment on "Staples for Every Woman's Wardrobe."  I have to laugh when they do these segments.  I mean, really?  Does every woman really need a trench coat?  Uh, no.  If you happen to live in Texas, you own a winter coat, a cardigan sweater, and a denim jacket.  And does every woman really need a little black dress?  No.  When was the last time you needed your LBD for a cocktail party?  (I think it's been 3 years for me and I'm surrounded by Dallas self-proclaimed socialites every week.) 

I wanted to be a little more realistic and offer 5 Staples for Every Real Woman's Wardrobe.

1.  A well-fitted pair of jeans.  You can wear them almost anywhere.  You can dress them up and dress them down.  And the right pair of jeans will make you look slim and trim.

2. A pretty dress.  We all need dresses for Easter, graduations, and weddings.  But it doesn't have to be a little black dress, it just needs to be a dress that we would feel comfortable wearing for any occasion. The dress should flatter you and you should consider it your go-to item when all else fails.

3. A pair of black pants or a black pencil skirt.  The black pants or skirt provide a blank canvas for any top.  Some women look better in pants and should embrace the pants to give them curves and shape.  And curvier women need the skirt.  Just be sure to play with color on top.

4. A suit.  I know this sounds old fashioned, but you always need a suit when it's not convenient to buy one.  The suit is a must-wear item for a job interview.  (I was even hired once because the hospital administrator said she liked my suit.)  The suit is appropriate for for funerals.  The suit is necessary for court or other important meetings. And the suit is always appropriate at church.  Pick a flattering color suit and DO NOT wear a white blouse unless you know it makes you look hot.  Just remember that black and white done wrong can make you look like a nun.  So if you pick black and white, you better accessorize well.

5.  A cute, matching sweat suit.  As a wife and mother I understand the advantage to wearing comfortable clothes when I'm getting groceries or doing the laundry.  But if we want to keep our men happy, we have to fight the "give up" look.   The right sweatsuit matched with make-up and flashy jewelry can make you look like a rock star.  So invest in cute Juicy sweats or Calvin Klein work-out clothes (great deals at Ross!) and be comfortable in style.

Everything else in your closet should be an expression of you!  So buy the silk blouse you've been admiring.  Or take a risk with the lace shrug that intimidates you.  Wear these with one of the staple items in your closet and you can't go wrong!  All the pictures are from items currently available at http://shop.nordstrom.com/.  They offer petite and extended sizes as you can see from the cute plus-size sweat suit. Check them out!

Take it To the Lord In Prayer

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7

What a comforting verse.  I did a research study last year on mental health issues and medication for disorders like anxiety.  Researchers have found that purely medicating people with mental health problems doesn't cure them.  Medication just masks the problem.  That's why treating anxiety disorders requires more than just Prozac.  Psychiatrists try to prescribe combination treatment with medication and behavioral therapy--both of which are expensive, time-consuming, and difficult to administer.  Meanwhile, Philippians tells us that Christians don't have to have anxiety because we can have peace--and not just any peace.  God promises us peace which surpasses all comprehension if we just give our requests to God in prayer. 

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there.

--What a Friend We Have in Jesus, Joseph M. Scriven