What are you saying?

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19-20

My little boy's new phrase this week has been "what are you saying?"  He asks me that almost every time I say something to him and it drives me nuts!  I keep telling him that I know he hears me, but if he doesn't understand, he needs to say "I don't understand Mommy."  It just sounds so much nicer.

As annoying as it is when my little boy conveniently doesn't hear me, I know I've done this to God.  I specifically remember a day in December when I was really contemplating a decision that I needed to make.  I prayed that God would hit me over the head with an answer.  Minutes later, He literally did when I turned on the radio (to a station I rarely listen to) and heard a sermon answering my question.  But I disregarded that sermon as being old fashioned.  The next day, He spoke through my mother. And witnesses will tell you that I became very angry at her for a few days.  I spent a week in tears too.  Thankfully, God kept talking until I finally listened.  If only my heart had just been listening sooner.

Usually, when I read this verse, I focus on the "be slow to anger" part, but today, the "be quick to listen" part reminded me that I need to listen more.  I think we would all become better people if we truly listened to other people.  And I know that we can have the righteous life that God promises if we listen to God.  I'm just praying that the next time God speaks, my heart is ready to listen.

Controlling Clutter

As a boy mom, I have come to realize that trains, cars, and balls are going to be in my house--and in every corner of my house.  So I have embraced the clutter by attempting to control it.  Here is the best $10 purchase I ever made at Wal-Mart. 

It serves as a fort, a camping tent (see the sleeping bag), a toy box, and place where boys of all ages can hang out.

Grandpa liked it so much, he has one at his house now! 

My Clients are the Best in the World

"She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight." Proverbs 31:13

The Excellent Wife in Proverbs had an interesting talent.  She sought out wool and flax and then spun it into garments for her family.  Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible had some interesting historical notes on this verse and the topic of spinning wool:  The practice of spinning was common among princesses throughout history.  Records shows that  both Greek and Roman women of importance practiced the art of spinning and working with wool.  And there is a Jewish saying that "there is no wisdom in a woman but in the distaff."  Apparently the Proverbs wife understood that her role was to work with her hands and to produce garments for her family.  She was good at it and delighted in this job.  She also understood quality.  In her era, a homespun wool garment was what princes wore.  She wanted her husband to dress accordingly.

I don't think this verse means that we need to be spinning wool for our husband's today.   But it does meant that we are to take delight in working at home for our families.  Doing laundry should be delightful.  Ironing shirts should make you smile.  Why?  Because that's what a wife can do to serve her husband.  (And because we could be spinning the material from scratch.)  The Excellent wife was not an idle woman.

I commented to a friend the other day that going to work was so much easier than being a full-time mom.  But being a good wife and mother is not about easy work.  It's not about getting our children out of our hair for a few hours.  It's not about having "people" to help us out with housework. (I met a newly wed the other day who had a housekeeper!)  Being a wife and a mom means that we take pride and joy in being good at what we do, because our client's are the best in the world!  

Potted Plant 2011

"For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business." James 1:11

This verse reminds me of a potted plant I bought last year.  And another plant I bough the year before.  Ok, I tend to kill potted plants because I forget to water them.  It's really sad because they're so pretty for the first few weeks.  But when the Texas heat gets to them and my water doesn't, they turn an icky brown.  Hopefully this year's plant will last longer.

James compares my dead plants to a rich man.  To read this verse in context with what I've been learning this week, I think James is trying to make the point that during trials, the rich man doesn't have an advantage.  Money doesn't help.  Money can't solve our problems, because only God can.  Relying on money (or financial security) to solve our problems is only going to turn us into miserable, withered people.

So if we're in debt, if we're debt free, if we're rich, and if we're broke, we can expect trials in our lives.  We can also expect that money can't help us through these trials.  So what should we do?  Stop focusing all our attention on saving, earning, or spending money.  It will wear us out and fade us into icky brown plants.  Start relying on God and trust that He will provide the money if we need it to solve our problems.  Let's be people who focus on God when we're stressed, because God promises that this man "will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him" (vs. 12).

Divorce Isn't Popular with Real Christians

I heard a discussion about the Christian divorce rate last night on the radio and decided to follow-up on what I'd heard.  Here is a link to the article I found on this topic Christians & Divorce in USA Today.

The General Social Survey from the National Opinion Research Center found the following:

• The divorce rate for Christians is 42%
• The divorce rate for non-religious affiliated persons is 50%

Bradley Wright, a University of Connecticut sociologist researched divorce in evangelicals and found the following:

• 6 out of 10 Evangelicals who do not regularly attend church are divorced or separated
• Only 38% of Evangelicals who attend church weekly have been divorced or separated

The National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia found the following:

• Americans who attend religious services several times a month were 35% less likely to get divorced than those with no religious affiliation
• Nominal protestants were 20% more likely to get divorced than those with no religious affiliation

So what do the statistics show?  They show that being a nominal Christian is harmful to your marriage.  They show that married persons who claim to be Christians but who do not regularly attend church together are more likely to get divorced or separated.  They show that being a "nominal" Christian is worse for your marriage than not being religious at all.

This makes perfect sense.  Marriage is a commitment between a man, a woman, and God.  And when the man and woman leave God out of the picture, the marriage cannot be complete.  God is what makes the marriage work.  So when couples become "nominal" Christians and don't seek God in their relationship, don't be surprised when the marriage doesn't work.  It's not supposed to work that way.

So what do we do about this finding? 

• First, we need to make a commitment within our own marriages to not be "nominal" Christians.  We have to maintain our relationship with God and attend church regularly as a couple.
• Second, encourage people who are suffering marital problems to go to church.  Encourage them to work on their own relationship with God before giving up on their spouse.  
• Third, counsel people who want to get married.  They need to understand the importance of their relationship with God and the importance of going to church regularly.

A Full Coverage Plan

"But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.  But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind." James 1:5-6

My husband had a heart procedure last November during which the doctors couldn't fix the heart condition because they couldn't find anything wrong. (My 28 year old husband had previously coded during a stress test.)  God has been good and has resolved all his heart problems since that time.  The insurance company, however, hasn't been very generous in covering the procedure.  To their credit, the doctors and hospital involved have made appeals and requested extra coverage, but the insurance company was not inclined to cooperate.  Knowing the state of health care in the U.S., I can't half blame the insurance company, but as a customer it makes you wonder why we pay so much each month when the insurance company doesn't want to help when we need it.

Thankfully, God is not like an insurance company.  He's always there when we need Him.  And if we ask Him for wisdom He gives it freely.  We are just required to ask for wisdom in faith, without any doubting.  We cannot approach God like our health insurance provider, hoping He might provide when we need Him.  He promises to be there and to give wisdom when we ask.  We need to have faith that God will do what He says. 

This sounds so simple.  But I'm a planner, and I always want a back-up plan.  I'm learning (slowly and painfully) that I don't need a back-up plan when I let God take control.  His plan and wisdom are perfect for my life when I have faith and completely surrender to His will.  God doesn't look at premiums and deductibles.  Jesus covered the cost of our insurance, and God doesn't deny coverage when we seek it.

No Pain, No Gain

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result so that you may be perfect and complete lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

I have started a 30 day Bible study on the book of James.  I love the book of James.  At one point, I even memorized the entire book.  God has been showing me that it's time to start meditating on the book again.  (He even managed to let this Bible study book fall out of my storage box in the garage so that I've been staring at it for the past 2 weeks while working out on my elliptical!  I'm finally listening...)

Today, the first lesson seemed to be right on point with what has been going on in my life.  You could say that I have been facing a trial of some kind, a trial that I hope will develop endurance and maturity in my life. This passage reminded me that I must face this trial with joy.  I have to admit, I've been feeling sorry for myself lately.  And I've been harboring resentment towards the person at the root of my trial.  But God tells me that I must have joy! 

Trials are spiritual exercise for the soul.  Just like my muscles hurt and beg me to stop working out during the first few weeks of getting in shape, my soul doesn't want to hurt either.  But if I'm going to gain spiritual endurance and perfection, it's got to hurt sometimes.  I just have to face the hurt with joy.  I must have joy knowing that God is working in my life and He wants to make my life complete.

Let's remember today that Christians must endure various trials in order to be perfect and complete.  And let's "exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character hope." Romans 5:-4

A Taste for the Juicy

Some girls dream about Louis Vuitton, others need their Gucci, but I have a taste for the Juicy.  On my vacation to Hawaii a couple of years ago I fell in love with Juicy Couture and have become a true Juicy girl.  Somehow, my husband "gets it" too, because he has bought me some fabulous vintage-looking Juicy jewelry.  He's also getting me a 50's inspired Juicy handbag!  I know, I married a pretty special guy.

This weekend I admired the adorable Juicy Spring 2011 Collection.  Here are some of my favorite Juicy items (and yes, I know they're not my size.) 

I guess girls of all ages need a little pink and bling in their lives!  To see more go to Juicy Couture!

Growing Tomato Plants

"Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary." Galatians 6:9

My 2 year old is a science nut.  He watches Sid the Science Kid all the time and he retains everything.  Yesterday, he informed me that we have muscles all over our bodies that help us move!  (Anatomy/physiology has been a hobby of mine since 6th grade, so I was very pleased by my son's sudden interest in muscles.)  Since he likes science, I thought it would be fun to teach him about seeds and plants.  So this picture is our tomato garden that we planted this afternoon.  Can you see our greenhouse pots and our outside pots?  I'm just hoping that a seed in a pot somewhere actually decides to grow. 

At church this morning, we talked about being planted in Christ.  Galatians 6 says that if we continue to do good, we will reap in due time.  But until that due time occurs, we have to keep doing good--and we can't get tired of doing what we know we're supposed to be doing.  That means that we can't get discouraged by the difficulties of life.  If we remain faithful and trust Jesus during the storms of life, He'll get us safely where we need to go and we'll reap the benefit of our faith.  Maybe not in this lifetime, but in due time.

I have no idea if my son's tomato plants will ever bloom.  The Sesame Street planter's kit says that harvest time should be in 70 days, but we'll see... I do know, however, that in due time, believers will reap the benefits of doing good and trusting in God. 

5 Ways to Be a Good Wife

"She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:12

When I first read this description of the Excellent Wife in Proverbs, I thought that this was obvious.  Shouldn't every wife want to do good for her husband?  But then I realized how important this is.  This wife doesn't just do good for her husband, but she does good all the days of her life.  She doesn't do evil to him, EVER.  She doesn't divorce him, threaten him, manipulate him, nag him, or belittle him.  She does good to him for her entire life. 

While studying this verse, I found a sermon on point. See Sermon Central to read the manuscript.  The preacher, George Dillahunty, explained that a wife should strive to do good to meet the needs of her husband.  This can be hard to do, because first, you have to know what your own husband needs.  After 6 1/2 years of marriage, I'm still learning what my man needs.  And maybe that's because his needs change over time.  But my job is to figure it out and to meet his needs.

In the Proverbs 31 sermon I found, the preacher listed 5 ways that a wife can meet some basic needs of her husband. They are the following:

1. A wife must provide physical intimacy to her husband.

2. A wife must respect her husband.

3. A wife must give encouragement.

4. A wife must take care of her appearance.

5. A wife must be a good mother.  (A husband can't fulfill this role with his children.)

If you are not a wife yet, I hope this blog post will show you that this isn't a job to be taken lightly.  If it were easy, there wouldn't be so many divorces.  If you are a wife, remember to always do good to your husband.  I know that I need to work on a few of these areas.  I'm not a perfect wife, but I hope that someday my husband can say, "she did good to me all the days of her life."