Putting the Heels Back on the Shelf

"...for children are not responsible to save up for their parents, but parents for their children." 2 Corinthians 12:21

So the saying is true. Having children does change everything. 

Earlier this week, I decided to capitalize on the fact that there are some great fall preseason sales at the mall right now.  I even allowed myself to be tempted to the point of trying on some incredible high heeled shoes.  I tried these lovely shoes on:

But when I left the mall, all I had purchased were these:

Yes, I now own a pair of toddler size 7 and preschool size 11 New Balance tennis shoes.  And I even paid for the fancy inserts for the preschool pair.  Plus, I now have 6 pairs of sox--3 white pair and 3 black pair.  So fashionable, I know.

Shoe shopping for little boys is about as fun as underwear shopping.  Sizes and styles are meaningless, and nothing fits like you'd expect.  And of course, the sales people never understand why I refuse to purchase the size that is supposed to fit my kids.  Apparently they have never had a child who curls his foot into a ball every time someone comes near him with a shoe.  There's no way I'm buying the size that's supposed to fit because it would take a half hour per foot to actually get shoes on.  And whoever invented high tops for babies was also clueless.  There is no way to get those kind of shoes on a baby.

Shoes are such a problem with my youngest that he has spent most of his life in sandals or socks.  Now that he's walking, however, I felt that he needed a pair of solid and supportive sneakers.  While shopping for him, I figured I might as well bite the bullet and buy his brother a pair of shoes too.  Now I'm good for at least 3 months. Hopefully.

When I left the mall it occurred to me that I managed to provide tennis shoes and accessories for both of my boys for less than the cost of the cute, but uncomfortable, heels that I tried on for myself.  Somehow, this made me feel like a good mommy.  Or maybe it was just a reality check that I've been a little self-absorbed lately. 

Sometimes Mommy needs to remember that life as I once knew it is over.  Those great sales at the mall are now tools for family survival.  No longer are they my excuse to have some fun. Sometimes the high heels need to go back on the shelf so that I can buy little tennis shoes. (Not for me, of course!)   After all, watching my little guy do the toddler moon walk in his first pair of good tennis shoes was priceless.

"Older" Women

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind being subject to their own husbands so that the word of God will not be dishonored." Titus 2:3-5

Have you ever wondered if you're at the right church or if you're surrounding yourself with the right people?  I have asked that question before.  And I'm confident that the answer to that question is that I am currently in the right place with the right people.  I know this, because I can see women in my church living out biblical principles.  I have found that I have Titus women in my life.

My mom and I have a really close relationship and she's always kind of been my spiritual accountability partner.  I know that she's praying for me and keeping tabs on me.  But I've come to realize that she's not the only woman in my life that is actually interested in my spiritual well-being.  In addition to my mother, I have some "older" women at church who are constantly keeping tabs on me too.  These women aren't old, but they're older than me and have raised some pretty awesome children who are in high school and college.  Every week these women seek me out and ask about the details of my life and how my parenting is going.  When I need it, they offer encouragement, advice, and prayers.

Last night at VBS, I had the opportunity to spend an hour talking to my two Titus women who were in charge of craft time.  (They even offered to let me color.)  I don't know if they have any idea that I call them my Titus women or that they realize how much I appreciate their advice and friendship.  But I do know that these are the first older women, aside from my mother, grandmother, and mother-in-law, who have really taken an interest in my role as a wife and mother.  Previously, the women I've looked up to have always been co-workers.  (Shriner's Hospital Houston and Birdville ISD both have some amazing, Christian women working there!)  But this is the first time that I have older women in my church who I feel like I can call with a personal problem or question.

If you don't have Titus women in your life, maybe you're not in the right place with the right people.  And if you have younger women in your life, please don't look down on them or let them wander aimlessly in their young adult life.  Let them know you are interested in them and freely offer wisdom.  Just because I've been through nursing and law school doesn't mean I have a clue about domestic life.  Titus recognized that people like me need wisdom that we can't learn in school, and he placed the burden on older women to teach it to younger women in the church.

Last night, I was expressing my regret that I don't have the time to be involved with the youth group as much as I would like.  My Titus women reassured me that my role right now is to raise my little children and to keep doing what I'm doing.  Since I'm already at church on Thursday nights for music practice, I don't need to tie up Wednesdays with youth group too.  Just that little bit of encouragement went a long way.  I'm so thankful for the right people in my life right now. 

Getting Left Behind or Taking a New Path?

"'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.'" Jeremiah 29:11-13

I found an e-mail in my inbox last night from a friend who had broken out into hives over the weekend and had just gotten steroid injections.  I think she's freaking out.  That fateful week has finally arrived for her and her legal knowledge is being tested.  That's right, the Texas Bar exam officially started today and will drag out for her and many other poor souls until Thursday.  Technically, I should be there taking that exam with all those souls, but here I am blogging at 9:30 in the morning and debating what work-out video I want to do today--Tahitian cardio or my belly dancing Hip Hop Hip Drop?

It's amazing how different my life already looks because I'm not joining my colleagues in taking the Bar exam this week.  Sometimes I wonder why I put off the exam until February.  Some days I even feel like I'm getting left behind.  But then I go back to Jeremiah 29:11 and remember that I'm not taking this exam, because God showed me that I needed to call upon Him and seek Him before I could plan my life any further.  I was spiraling towards a permanent migraine with my own plans. 

I don't completely understand how I'm going to benefit from a delay in getting my law license, but I don't have to worry about it because someone else has that already figured out.  God promises that he knows the plans for my life.  I just have to follow the same command that His people were instructed to follow.  Call upon God.  Pray.  Seek His guidance. 

This week I have the special opportunity to be a part of Adventure Week at church (a.k.a. VBS) because I delayed my exam.  Obviously, VBS would have been accomplished without me, but I wouldn't have been blessed by the experience if I were testing this week instead.  Recently, I've been asking God what I'm supposed to be doing with my life right now.  And I truly believe that He answered me when I listened to the first night's Bible lesson for the kids at church.  It was the story of the lost lamb.  It was the same story that I heard years ago when I accepted Jesus into my heart. 

God answered my question with a simple story.  He wanted me to delay the Bar exam because He wants me to share His love with other people right now.  This week, He want me to play the piano for song time at VBS.  Next week, He'll show me what I need to be doing.  I am a sheep and He is my Shepherd.  When I was lost He found me.  When I started to stray, He got in my face and nudged me back on the path.  He will lead me where I need to go when the time is right. And thankfully, He understands me.  So much so, that He even gives me confirmation along the way to remind my worrying spirit that I'm still on the right path and headed in the right direction.  Even if it's not the path that I expected to take, it is a new one that leads to a far better place.

I can't wait to see what lesson God has in store for me tonight.  It's amazing how much you learn when your heart is open to God's teaching.  Jeremiah is right, when you seek God and search for Him with all your heart, you will find Him and some of the answers that you need.  Even if it's not the answer you'd expect.

Shop More, Live Longer

I read something today that I had to share: Shopping can help you live longer!  According to the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, shoppers who shop every day are 27% less likely to die than people who shopped less frequently. In fact, the findings indicate that shopping benefits men even more than women. 

So the next time your man doesn't feel like shopping.  Remind him that shopping will make him live longer.  It will make you happy.  And it will make life better for both of you.  Besides, according to the study, you don't even have to buy anything to get the health benefit of shopping.  You just gotta shop!

If he needs further convincing, here is the citation for the journal article: Y.-H. Chang, R. C.-Y. Chen, M. L. Wahlqvist, M.-S. Lee. Frequent shopping by men and women increases survival in the older Taiwanese population. Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health, 2011; DOI: 10.1136/jech.2010.126698

The Secret to Job Satisfaction

"A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without Him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases Him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." Ecclesiastes 2:24-26

I'm not a philosopher.  In fact, in high school, my English teacher and my classmates actually said that I was rather shallow--a trait I proudly owned.  Why would I want to be "deep" and read meaning into everything?  What can I say, I'm literalistic and want to take things at their face value.  Maybe that's why I've always gotten along well with guys.  You don't have to be deep to understand what they like...

Anyway, I digress.  I just want you to know where I'm coming from when I say that I've been pondering the concept of "work" lately.  This may not be deep and philosophical.  But I think it makes sense.

Work seems to have different meanings to different people.  For some, it's a means to an end--a way to get a pay check.  And for others, work seems to be a reflection of self.  These people think that they are defined by what they do for a living. For these people, success and satisfaction at work are crucial for their happiness.  Thus, when things go poorly at work, they become miserable people. 

As a means to an end worker, I haven't struggled as much with the concept of workplace satisfaction.  But as a law school graduate and friend of people employed in many sectors of the workforce, I've been saddened by the unhappiness of those who have become miserable because of their jobs.  Please don't waste your misery on your job.

Workers can blame the economy, the weather, the job market, their education or lack thereof for how much they love or hate their jobs.  But the fact of the matter is that work isn't supposed to be fun.  If it were, we probably wouldn't get paid to do it.  Work is going to require some amount of personal sacrifice via physical labor, skills, or special knowledge.  It's also going to require a willingness to put up with other personalities.  Work does not, however, require anyone to be miserable.  Come on now, we've all seen happy janitors, right?

Solomon reminds us in Ecclesiastes that we can be miserable and allow our work to be meaningless repetition aimed at accumulating material wealth.  We can allow ourselves to be defined by what we do and how well we do it.  Or, we can find satisfaction in our work and strive to please God. In the end, the person who pleases God will get wisdom, knowledge, and happiness.  And the materialist will just get accumulated wealth, which will be passed on to someone else after the materialist dies.

Solomon says that it is possible to have job satisfaction. God, and only God, can help us find enjoyment in what we do.  That means that whatever career a person pursues can pretty much stink apart from God.  Even if you have the coolest or highest paying job in the world, you can be miserable if you don't have true job satisfaction from God.

When we're working, it's easy to get frustrated by the daily annoyances that accompany a job.  But we should never be discouraged.  God offers us the ability to be satisfied with what we do and with whom we work.  We just have to seek to please Him and seek our enjoyment from Him and not from the workplace.  So stop allowing the work place to define you. Instead, seek true happiness that can only come from God. Start by reading the book of Romans in the New Testament.  When you see and accept what God offers you, it's hard to be a miserable person--regardless of your job.  And who knows, maybe when you start to dwell on your blessings, your job won't be so bad.

It's Time For Your Feet to Feel Feminine

Despite the 100 plus degree weather we've been experiencing for the last few weeks, retailers are trying to drop hints that it's time to start buying for fall.  For better or worse, stores have started their preview sales of this year's fall collections.  Although it's pretty hard to imagine wearing fur or leather any time soon, I'm getting really excited about the new shoe trends. 

Thank you Nordstrom for making me fall in love with your new collection of shoes.  So far, I've resisted the urge to buy, but a girl can always look, right? And what girl wouldn't want to look at the new retro inspired shoes? Just looking at these shoes makes me want to break out my jazz and swing music.  Aren't they great?  Take a look:

Ladies, it's time to put away the big bulky shoes of the past and to embrace your femininity.  Yes, fight the urge to dress like a teenager.  Ditch the Uggs and Toms.  It's time for your feet to feel womanly. 2011 is the year to be feminine.

You'll be amazed what the new models will do to elongate your calves. You might also be amazed at how well your husband will like the new look on you as well. (Come on, no man get's excited about flip flops and tennis shoes.) So check out more of these wonderful trends here at the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. If you ever wanted to give your feet a shoe makeover, it's time.

He Wanted a Train Cake

My little guy wanted a train cake for this 3rd birthday.  And Mommy delivered.

Ok. I never said that I actually made the cake. Mommy just found a way to get a train cake.  I'm typically not a Thomas fan.  (If you ever read his stories or watch his show you'll find that he talks and acts like a baby.)  But when your little one asks for a train cake, it's hard to resist a big blue engine with a face like this. 

Of course, the cake is only part of our 3rd birthday celebration.  He's getting 3 parties this year since one set of grandparents are on a business trip and the other grandparents are cruising Alaska this week.  Can't wait to show you more pics of Operation Three Celebrations for a 3rd birthday!

And yes, there will be more trains...

Amazing Love

For some reason, I've been singing the words of this song today.  I can't think of a better way to start off my week. Thank you Charles Wesley, for writing the words to And Can it Be.  I too am amazed by God's love for me.

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

’Tis mystery all: th’Immortal dies:
Who can explore His strange design?
In vain the firstborn seraph tries
To sound the depths of love divine.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore,
Let angel minds inquire no more.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore;
Let angel minds inquire no more.

He left His Father’s throne above
So free, so infinite His grace—
Emptied Himself of all but love,
And bled for Adam’s helpless race:
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

Still the small inward voice I hear,
That whispers all my sins forgiven;
Still the atoning blood is near,
That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

Mommy Can't Go Back to Walmart

I'm learning that part of being a parent is accepting the fact that humiliation often accompanies the job.  On more than one occasion your child will do something that makes you gasp and sigh.  And then there are the times when your child does something that makes you cringe, straighten your back and leave a store immediately--with no intention of returning for months.  Just ask Albertson's.  It took me approximately 6 months to start shopping there again.

The Albertson's incident happened on a day when both of my boys were feeling under the weather.  My sweet husband left work early to meet us at the doctor's office where we each took a boy in for their exams.  After the appointment, we took them to Albertson's to pick up some Pedialyte and groceries.  Our oldest was excited to have Daddy push him in the cart with the little car attached to it.  Unfortunately, Daddy didn't understand why he wanted to get out of the car half way around the store.  But then he figured it out.  The little guy got sick all over the meat department floor and inside the plastic car.  We were horrified, the little guy started crying, and Albertson's was more than happy to help us out the door.  Needless to say, I waited months to go back.  I figured that if I waited long enough, no one would recognize us.  And of course, my children aren't allowed anywhere near the plastic cars. Gross!

And then the public humiliation happened again.

Today my baby and I went to Walmart to buy birthday cards.  After cruising through the card aisle, we stopped by the make-up where I picked out the perfect shade of purple nail polish.  Without thinking much about it, I handed the polish to my little guy and headed towards the check-out in the garden department.  On our way there I heard a crash and I froze.  The little guy had smashed the nail polish bottle on the floor at my feet.  When I looked at the floor all I could see was purple paint.  My red patent heels were purple.  My legs were streaked in purple.  And the floor was covered in purple paint. 

I immediately ran to the spill station to get towels to clean up our purple mess, but it was pretty much a lost cause.  The Walmart lady told me not to worry about it.  They assured me that I didn't have to pay for the paint (believe me, I offered.)  And worst of all, when I went back to the make-up section there wasn't another bottle of the pretty purple polish to buy.  So, I held up my head and continued towards the check-out, purple streaked legs and all.  Sorry for the mess Walmart.  I guess we'll be seeing you in 6 months.

At least today's adventure had a happy ending.  My red patent heels withstood the nail polish remover  and have retained their shiny redness.  And thank goodness I don't own a pair of Christian Louboutin heels, because I would have worn them with my short polk-a-dot dress today.  I would have fainted if my guy had painted purple streaks on $800 shoes.  He's just a lucky boy.

All I can say now is that since I can't go back to Walmart, Target better watch out.  Because here we come...

Is Foster Care the New Fat Camp?

Parents beware!  If your child is fat, they might get to spend time in foster care.  What?  Oh yes, The Journal of the American Medical Association published a disturbing commentary yesterday by Dr. David Ludwig, an obesity specialist at Harvard-affiliated Children's Hospital of Boston, and Lindsey Murtagh, a lawyer/researcher at the Harvard School of Public Health.  The article recommends that state intervention is necessary for protecting children who are morbidly obese.  The authors explain that they feel that children who are extremely obese should be removed from their homes by Child Protective Services and placed in foster care until they lose weight.  Apparently this practice has already been started in some parts of the country. 

Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for CPS.  I will admit that as a school nurse I even referred children to CPS.  I will also admit that some parents aren't very good at being parents and they do feed their children to the point of morbid obesity.  But I don't see how it's in the "best interest" (legal terminology) of the child to be removed from mom and dad because they like to serve ice cream between meals or because they've invested in too many video games.  There might be some appropriate legal sanctions for parents who fail to follow health care plans--you'd be surprised how many parents are non-compliant.  But unless the parent is an immediate danger to the health and safety of the child, there is no reason to go so far as to remove a kiddo from mommy and daddy.  Besides, a lot of the fat kids at the elementary school where I worked were the happiest.

My other concern about this new practice is that charts and standards are meaningless.  Who gets to make the decision that a child is morbidly obese and subject to foster care?  Are we going to base these decisions on growth charts?  I hope not.  One of my good friends had a baby who was super cute and very small.  She was completely proportionate and healthy, but she didn't weigh much.  She actually fit into the failure to thrive category on the growth charts. But she was healthy!!!  The baby ate and played and functioned just fine.  My friend should not have had to worry about the growth chart.  Her baby was fine and is an adorable (and average sized) toddler today.  But what if the baby had been abnormally chunky?  Would she have been sent to foster care?

And don't get me started on foster care.  Sometimes it's good.  Sometimes it's bad.  But is it really a gamble worth taking just because a kid is fat?  Wouldn't it just be better to send the kid to rehab?  At least you can sue for malpractice in a rehab facility.  Even in law school, my Children and the Law class was taught that it's better in almost every case to place a child with some form of family before pursuing foster care.  Of course, I didn't go to Harvard...

All I know is that the more government butts into our family lives, the worse we are.  Even some fairly liberal-minded lawyers agree with me.  Above the Law's article Should the Law Take Fat Kids Away from Their Parents supports me on this one.  Please know that when you read about some Harvard educated doctor or lawyer, they don't speak for their entire professions.  And please remember that if you want to keep making decisions on how to raise your own child, you better get involved in our "system" and contribute.  Or else well-educated liberals might send your fat child to foster care.