Open My Eyes

"So Abraham rose early in the morning, and took bread and a skin of water; and putting it on her shoulder, he gave it and the boy to Hagar, and sent her away. Then she departed and wandered in the Wilderness of Beersheba. And the water in the skin was used up, and she placed the boy under one of the shrubs. Then she went and sat down across from him at a distance of about a bowshot; for she said to herself, 'Let me not see the death of the boy.' So she sat opposite him, and lifted her voice and wept. And God heard... Then God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water. And she went and filled the skin with water, and gave the lad a drink." Genesis 21:14-17a, 19

There's something so heart wrenching and sad about the story of Hagar and Ishmael wandering in the wilderness.  It's every mother's worst nightmare.  She's trying to support her son and she just can't do it alone.  There's literally no water.  As her son's body is starting to shut down, she can't even hold him.  Instead, she sits down a few feet away and cries.  I wonder how many mothers have experienced this ultimate helplessness?  How many women have completely given up because they cannot save their own child?  How many people give up completely because they are consumed by helplessness and the realization that life is completely out of their own hands?

 I've always wondered why God allowed Hagar's situation to get to such a dire point?  God had already promised Abraham that Ishmael would be the father of a nation.  But as Hagar watches Ishmael's body slowly waste away, she is faced with humanity and the limits of this world.  She actually believes that her son, who has a predestined promise and future, is going to die.  Then God acts.

God opens her eyes to see a well of water.  He doesn't spontaneously cause a spring of water to flow from the earth.  He doesn't have another human bring them a bucket of water.  Instead, God opens her eyes to the well.  This implies that the well was there the entire time and she just couldn't see it.  God had provided for Hagar and Ishmael from the beginning, but they could not be saved until they could see clearly.

How many of us are missing the wells of water in our own lives that are right in front of us?  Let us not wilt away into a helpless state because we cannot see the provision that God has given us.  Let us seek to see what God has for us.  May God open our hearts and minds to the goodness that He has in store for us.  Then, when we face our own dire situations, we will not be in a helpless state. 

I love the words of this old hymn. May it be the cry our our hearts today.

Open My Eyes, That I May See 

 by Clara H. Scott

Open my eyes, that I may see
Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Place in my hands the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free.

Silently now I wait for Thee,
Ready my God, Thy will to see,
Open my eyes, illumine me,
Spirit divine!

Open my ears, that I may hear
Voices of truth Thou sendest clear;
And while the wave notes fall on my ear,
Everything false will disappear.

Open my mouth, and let me bear,
Gladly the warm truth everywhere;
Open my heart and let me prepare
Love with Thy children thus to share.

Let the Woe Go!

"Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him.  Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart." Psalm 32:10-11

It's amazing how quickly my blood pressure can rise.  I hate when I get myself worked up about something, but inevitably, it happens.  And I am convinced that this only happens when my focus is not where it needs to be.  Not that my woes aren't understandable, but like the Psalmist says, those who trust in Jesus should rejoice in Him and not dwell in our woes like the wicked do. 

So I'm going to get this off my chest and let my woe go.  I am highly annoyed at my doctor's nurse.  Actually, I doubt she's a nurse.  There's no way a registered nurse should act that incompetent.  At my son's annual check-up last month, she asked me what shots he needed!  Thankfully, I am a registered nurse who has a clue and knows that he doesn't need anything until kindergarten.  But let's just say, this girl and I had a very strange conversation about my son's immunization history that just about sent me over the edge.  She just couldn't figure out why he didn't need another Hep B shot since he's only had 4 already.  (Hello woman! He only needs 3, so I'm pretty sure that vaccination has been covered!)  Then, when I asked about flu shots, she looked at me funny and answered "I don't know anything about that."  Oh my goodness!  Incompetence makes me angry.

I'm typically patient and understanding, but this was not an isolated incident.  And although it happened 2 weeks ago, it's still making me mad.  So mad, in fact, that I actually had an entire letter in my mind that I was prepared to write and send to the doctor's office manager about the incompetence of their nursing staff.  As a registered nurse who has run my own clinic, I know incompetence when I see it.  And trust me, I've seen it too many times at too many doctors' offices.

But this afternoon, my husband said something that made me think.  If I'm that mad about incompetent care, maybe I should go find another doctor.  Otherwise, I'll be known as "that patient" who wrote "The Letter."  And he's right.  As a former clinic nurse, I know that I would be the patient with the label.  And I'm not ready to go find another doctor at this point because I really like the one I see.  He's amazing, despite his incompetent medical assistant.  Maybe I just need to take a chill pill. 

Maybe I need to show some mercy to this girl and remember what it was like to be the new nurse.  I don't have to let her actually give my boys their shots (I'm definitely not ready to let her use a needle with my kids at this point), but I can help her out and show her some tricks to pediatric care.  I mean, I am a pediatric nurse.  In my opinion, my boys are getting pretty good full-time nursing care.

I'm just going to have to let this one go.  This woe is gone.  As the Psalmist says, those of us who have experienced the love of Jesus should not be consumed by the things of this world.  Instead, we should be rejoicing in Jesus and praising the Lord.  When I ask myself what Jesus would do with this situation, I'm pretty sure that writing a letter describing the flawed communication, training, and competency of the "nursing" staff isn't on His to-do list.  No, he would be assertive and kind.  He would be constructive in love and He would show patience. 

Thank you dear husband for setting me straight.  And thank you Jesus for your example of mercy and love. 

Exploring

My little guys took me "exploring" the other day.  I knew that the boys thought this was a fun activity to do with Grandma and Grandpa, but I had no idea that their version of exploring was so sophisticated.  This was actually a trek through the woods.  Both little guys seemed to understand the concept of following the dirt trails into the woods and both were actually eager to do it!  Ok, the little one didn't exactly want to stay on the trail, but nevertheless, I was very impressed by their bravery in the woods.

The pictures don't really do the trails justice.  At a few points they do get really small and interesting.  I'm not quite sure how the trails actually ended up in some woods in the middle of a suburban town, but whoever blazed the way did a great job!  We could have explored for at least another hour.  And this was quite a hike for my toddlers.  The little one spent most of the journey on top of Grandpa's shoulders.

When I was a little girl, my family used to go visit state parks in Indiana where we would walk on elaborate trails through the woods.  And even though I am not, and never will, consider myself to be an outdoorsy girl, I still like little hikes in the woods.  Thankfully, the heat and dry weather kept many of the Texas critters off of our path.  (I really had visions of finding a rattler in the high grass--especially when my parents decided to stop and have an entire conversation in the high grass!)  Of course, as the pictures below will show you, the dry spell also changed the course of our adventure as we were able to walk through the dry creek bed when we got "lost."   Let's just say that Little Bear Creek, the creek that flooded many homes and backyards a few years back, is completely dry today.

I'm sure I'll get to do a lot more exploring in the future with my little scouts.  And I'm pretty sure that our hikes will get more elaborate in the future as well.  But this week I was proud to not only survive the walk through the woods, but to do so with very few scrapes, stickers, and absolutely no poison ivy.  Thank goodness I bought a pair of tennis shoes last week!

A New Perspective on the NFL

I survived my first NFL weekend.  This year, my husband got this brilliant idea that I might be willing to embrace professional football if there was a huge incentive in it for me.  He signed us up in a Yahoo league where he and I pick who is going to win every week.  At the end of the season, he promised that if I win I'll get a huge prize--like a designer handbag.  I'm not sure what he gets if he wins, but he's already winning because I'm watching NFL games. (I'm kind of thinking that if I watch all season I'll get the handbag anyway.)

I don't know why I've never really liked the NFL.  I just can't get into it.  College games seem so much more surprising and unpredictable.  Plus, I have my own college team that I cheer for every week.  But professional football is like watching a bunch of overpaid men putting on a show every week.  It's the old-school reality television. 

Anyway, I don't think I'm winning at this point.  I would be if the Cowboys and Broncos hadn't had major flubs in their 4th quarters.  Who would have predicted a fumble at the 1 yard line?  Really, Tony!  But as you can see, my husband got what he wanted because I actually have a good understanding of who did what across the entire NFL.  I confess that I even watched SportsCenter this morning to catch up on my scores.  Something is definitely wrong with me.

I love girly things.  I love feminine things.  Football just doesn't seem feminine at all.  But when there's a designer handbag attached to the season, football takes on an entirely new meaning.  So if your man is wishing that you would be interested in his ball games week in and week out, try some negotiating.  And you too could be well on your way to a dream handbag.  In this sport, it seems that everybody wins.  The man gets his ballgame watching buddy.  And the woman gets a new (and much earned) accessory.

That September Day

I was hanging out in the student lounge with my friend after our early morning class when she received a phone call.  It shook her up.  That's when she said that New York had been attacked.  I could tell she was scared to death.  And then she told me that her dad was on a business trip to New York City.

Over the course of the next few minutes, other students were starting to hear more rumors about airplanes and Washington D.C., and at some point, somebody wheeled in a large TV to the student union so that we could watch the news.  The rumors were true.  The United States had been attacked.  I never expected this in my lifetime--especially not during my freshman year of college.

I think the events of 9/11/2001 changed my life in many ways.  For starters, I don't see the world the same way anymore.  I'm not one of those unrealistic dreamers who believes that the entire world is going to lock arms and sing boy scout songs together.  I now see that there is a spiritual battle waging in this world.  There is true evil in the world.  We can't negotiate with it, reason with it, or tolerate it.  We have to pursue what is good and acceptable and perfect.

The events following 9/11 also ignited my interest in politics.  Although I didn't change my major at the time (thanks mom and dad), I did start creating my own political world view.  Somewhere down the road, that led me to law school.  I'm still not sure where I'm headed down the legal path, but for now, I've been called to be an ambassador for Christ in my local legal community.

9/11 also taught me what it means to be an American.  I've read and heard stories of the people who gave their lives in past wars so that I could be free.  But now that my generation has joined in the fight for freedom, I have a better understanding of how costly freedom is.  I value my freedom.  It's rare.  I understand America is a land of free people who have been given an opportunity to live like no one else. 

It's hard to believe that it's been 10 years since that day in the student lounge.  I'm not the same person I was then.  I'm not naive and idealistic.  Now, I'm a Christian who sees a much clearer purpose for my life.  And I'm proud to be an American.

Sometimes You've Just Got to Play Ball

You can read all the parenting books in the world, but sometimes the most useful lessons are the ones that you have to learn on your own.  Since each child is "special" in their own sort of way, there's no one-size-fits-all solution to parenting dilemmas.  (And let's face it, don't we all hate one-size-fits-all anyway?)

Motivating a child can take some imagination.  Fortunately, I'm starting to "get" what makes my boys tick.  My oldest child is a lot like his Daddy.  He is developing a love for sports.  And one of his first words was "touchdown." During the NFL game last night, he informed us that football is his favorite game.  He stood in front of our large screen TV during the first half and played "air football."  On every play, he would run around after the snap and pretend to carry the ball until the end of the play when he would roll on the ground as if he were tackled.  It was funny at first, but I'm pretty sure his orthopedic doctor would not be pleased that he was getting tackled on every play.  (He still hasn't been cleared to resume full activity since his collar bone fracture.)

When we watch baseball on TV, my son plays air baseball as well.  He warms up and taps the plate before every at-bat with his pretend bat.  Then he swings at every pitch.  If the batter remotely makes contact, my son then runs around the entire house and slides into home plate.  This game seemed kind of dangerous too, but that was before he started playing pretend football.

The moral of the story is that ball games and sports lingo work with my son.  He doesn't have a "bedtime."  Instead, he knows it's time to hit the sack at "halftime" every night.  He also knows that staying up for "overtime" is a huge privilege, because that means he's staying up really late. Whether it's golf, baseball, basketball, football, or soccer, using sports terminology with the little guy works great.  Let's just say that counting to 3 takes on an entirely different meaning when you're talking about striking out. 

I've also discovered that I can use sports as a great "reward" for good behavior.  It's really funny to see a child so motivated to clean up his room or to take a nap just so that he can spend his evening with the family at the driving range.  A few weeks ago, Grandma promised him a football party at her house.  He was the best child that day.  He announced to people everywhere we went that he was going to have a football party.  It must have been fun, because he informed me that he and Grandpa need to go see some more football when it gets dark again.

Apparently, using sports to teach economics works too.  My son hates that Daddy goes to work every day.  But he was willing to accept the concept that Daddy goes to work to make money so that Daddy can buy him a basketball court someday.  I can already tell you that I'm dreading our future house hunting adventures with this little guy.  Most children want swimming pools.  Mine want basketball courts and putting greens.

Anyway, I can't tell you what's going to work for your child, but I am learning to think outside of the batter's box with mine.  Sometimes when it comes to dealing with my kiddos, I just have to be willing to play ball.

Where is the Love?

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." I Corinthians 13:1-3

My friend and I were chatting the other day about something that we have both observed in recent years that has really impressed us.  We've both had the opportunity to be involved in churches where something exciting was happening.  One church was large and well known.  The other other church was small with a young congregation.  But both churches were alike, because they were full of love and grace.

My friend and I grew up together in a church where the Bible was taught clearly every week.  There was an emphasis on prophecy, ministry, and knowledge.  We were both given a strong biblical foundation because of that church.  But something terrible happened at that church that deeply scarred both my friend and me.  The church split.

On Sunday, a man at my church shared his testimony.  He too had experienced church splits.  The effects of the church splits impacted him so much that he even doubted the relevance and necessity of a church home.  After all, who wants to build relationships that are only going to crash and burn when the church leaders decide to declare war on one another?  Church splits are horrible.  They ruin lives.  They destroy ministries.  They are evidence of a real lack of love inside the church. 

I'm not saying that churches can't recover from splits and divisions.  God can restore bodies of believers to have effective ministries.  But when churches decide to split--for whatever reason--they are dragging God's name through the mud.  And many of them leave a wake of trampled hearts and lives in the process.  I 100% believe that church members can leave the church in peace and unity with the intent to further God's ministry elsewhere without destroying the church.  Unfortunately, this is rare. 

When I read I and 2 Corinthians, I was encouraged to see that Paul gives instructions for change in the church.  He acknowledges the strengths and weaknesses of the church.  But he never gives up on the believers.  He admonishes them.  He encourages them.  He loves them.  And he encourages them to love others.  Paul never destroys a body of believers.  Instead, he continues to build them up.

We need to be sure that our churches are full of love.  When we're "church shopping" we need to be careful to look for churches where grace and love abound.  We must realize that the style of music, the Sunday School curriculum, the dress code, and the number of ministries don't really matter if there is no love.  And we must do our own part to share God's love within the church.  Build relationships with other Christians.  Share your experiences.  Pray for the needs of other members.  Recognize and acknowledge sin just like Paul did.  But don't give up on the sinners.  Continue to pray and love on those who need grace most.  God can do amazing things when we leave it to Him to restore peace and unity.

If God hates divorce, you can imagine how he feels about splits within the church.  Let's try to honor
Him by pursuing love and grace instead.

New Inspiration for My Work-out

Every so often, I realize that I need some inspiration for my work-out.  In the spring, the idea of enjoying the gorgeous Texas weather while getting a hint of a tan is really all I need.  For some reason, every summer, my enthusiasm wanes.  I'm sure it has something to do with triple digit heat that causes me to "glisten" every time I walk from my front door to my car.  So every year, in the heat of the summer, I purchase work-out videos that I can do in the house.  The novelty of these works for awhile, but they're just not as fun as cranking up my music in the garage for a work-out or cruising my neighborhood trails with my boys.  Thus, I've reached that point every year where I need some special inspiration.

This weekend, my husband took me shoe shopping--tennis shoe shopping.  As a general rule, I don't wear tennis shoes in my everyday life.  I kind of think that femininity should be a head to toe statement, so you're much more likely to catch me wearing some wedges or boots or some cute flip flops that allow me to show off a nice pedicure.  Tennis shoes are for function and comfort.  I used to wear them to work with my scrubs.  I wear them in the garage when I work out.  I mow the lawn in tennis shoes.  So who really cares what they look like?

I've never been that interested in the fashion statement made by my tennis shoes.  In fact, it recently occurred to me that I have not even purchased a new pair of tennis shoes since March of 2009!  But hey, if you don't wear them much, they last. Right?

Anyway, my husband decided that it was time for me to buy some tennis shoes to match my personality.  He knows that I've been losing inspiration for my daily work-outs, so buying some fun tennis shoes was his solution.  Isn't he a genius?  The current tennis shoe looks are definitely inspiring.  These are some of my favorites below:

I ended up with the first pair above.  It's been years since I bought a pair of Nike's, but I couldn't resist the Boise State blue color of these shoes (much brighter in real life.)  And you know what?  I can't wait to put them on again and go work-out.  Maybe a new pair of tennis shoes can inspire a girl.  But don't get any ideas.  Unless you catch me wandering out in my work-out clothes, you might never know that I have a colorful pair of sneakers in my closet. 

Who knew tennis shoes could be so inspiring?

Worry is a Waste of Time

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow..." Matthew 6:34a

While driving home from church yesterday, I heard a sermon on the radio that really made me think.  The preacher stated that we bring a lot of grief upon ourselves when we worry.  He said that when we worry, we are voluntarily assuming responsibility for a situation that is outside of our control.  And this is sin.

We have been given the freedom to be free from worry.  God wants us to stop carrying around unnecessary burdens.  We can do everything "right" and yet situations can go extremely wrong.  For example, we can be the best employee at our job.  But when the economy tanks, we can still be the first fired for reasons completely unrelated to our job performance.  Or as parents, we can do everything in our power to raise our children properly and to discipline them in love.  But when they grow up, for better or worse, they will make their own decisions despite what they've been taught.

I'm seeing a lot of my friends stressing out right now.  They just took the bar exam and have started looking at the job market.  It stinks.  The good jobs that are open are requiring applicants to have 4-9 years experience.  A year ago these same jobs only wanted 2-3 years experience.  Career service offices at law schools don't even have any leads these days.  It's really depressing.  But worrying about the job market is not something that we should be doing.  The market is outside of our control.  All we can do is live our lives, be diligent to do our best at what we do, and trust that God will work out His plan in our lives.

I know it sounds like I'm taking the job issue lightly, but I'm not.  I absolutely did everything wrong in law school.  I intentionally skipped on-campus interviews, despite having good enough grades to get interviews.  And I refused to waste my time on law review.  I just wasn't interested!  Instead, I went through school and did my best to be a good student, a wife, and a mom.  My career adviser probably hated me because I wasn't ambitious enough, but I didn't really care.  Even if I followed all of her rules, she couldn't guarantee me a job.  Yet, I did get a job--a job that far exceeded my expectations.  I have a boss who is nice to me and who is willing to let me be a mom to my kids while also being a productive employee.  Only God could make that happen.  I certainly didn't.

God is faithful.  He brings along the right people in the right time--not our time, of course.  He hasn't called us to carry around the weight of the world.  He's called us to trust in Him.  So stop taking responsibility for what you can't control.  Do your best.  Trust.  Know that "He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

A Must See Date Night Movie

My husband and I were blessed yesterday to have my parents come watch our little ones (who were sick) so that we could go to a movie together.  I think we've been to exactly 3 or 4 movies together since our oldest child was born 3+ years ago.  That means that we see approximately 1 movie per year at the theater.  When we dated, we would sometimes see 3 movies a week!  But now that we have kiddos and work schedules, we've discovered the genius behind cable tv's On Demand button.  Anyway, I digress.

Yesterday we saw 7 Days in Utopia.  I kind of expected it to be another slow golf movie.  Don't get me wrong, I like golf movies. Generally speaking, however, golf movies are either very slow or kind of dirty--Tin Cup comes to mind.  This movie was no Tin Cup.  7 Days in Utopia was a legitimately good, clean movie with a really solid message.  From start to finish, this was a wonderful movie, and I think every family should own it.  Plus this movie has the rare ability to mix a Christian message with great acting.  If you love Robert Duvall as a cowboy (Lonesome Dove was kind of great), you'll love him even more as a wise, Christian cowboy. 

So if you need a good date night movie to see, go try out 7 Days in Utopia.  I promise you won't be disappointed.  And you might even fall in love with the Texas Hill Country too. 

Sorry, I 'm not going to give away what this movie is about.  Just go see it.