Time to Make the Birth Plan

So I'm officially past the half way point in my pregnancy (21+ weeks), and I'm to that point where I have to start thinking about planning for delivery and all the details associated with the birth plan.  A lot of my mommy friends are obsessed with parenting and birthing books when it comes to getting advice for making these decisions.  Some are consumed by the concept of doing everything "natural." While others have declared that they want the least painful approach to childbirth as possible.  All I can say to my friends is this: to each her own.  My personal goal in choosing a birth method is to do what is safest for my baby.

As a nurse attorney who has spent most of the last 3 years working in medical malpractice, I have my own unique perspective on child birth.  It seems that every month or so I get a new birth injury case across my desk.   I have seen a trend among these cases.  Too often something went wrong somewhere, somebody wasn't paying good enough attention, and the caregiver waited way too long to do a c-section, which if performed earlier would have prevented the birth injury and associated complications.  Based on the evidence in these cases (and my personal observations while rotating through L & D in nursing school), C-sections are not the horrible, unnecessary, monstrous procedures that many women view them to be.  In many cases, the c-section is the difference between a baby with brain damage vs. a healthy baby. 

My first delivery was a necessary and urgent c-section in light of some blood pressure and kidney problems I was experiencing.  But the 2nd time around, the ball was in my court and I was given the option of a repeat C-section or a VBAC.  In light of my experience with birth injury cases, I actually consulted one of my firm's medical experts to help me make my decision.  He said that the safest decision I could make for my baby was to deliver him via C-section.  Subsequently, I consulted other professionals on the matter who all agreed that there is no medical advantage to a VBAC.  Thus, I chose the safety first method and had a repeat C-section.  Ultimately this turned out to be a great decision since there was meconium in my water when it spontaneously broke at home.  A quicker delivery turned out to be a good thing for my baby.

This time around, I'm sticking with the decision to choose the safest delivery for my baby. I can honestly say that I don't feel the guilt and grief that other mothers do about not ever having a natural or pain-med free delivery.  For the life of me, I can't figure out why this bothers women.  I mean, I've never heard anyone complain about having their wisdom teeth removed under general anesthesia or having to have a surgical appendectomy.  So this whole mommy guilt that people feel about their deliveries is crazy.  Mommies should realize that the bottom line is this: your goal should be to deliver a healthy and happy baby.  Some mommies do this naturally. Some mommies do this with epidurals. And some mommies do this with surgery.  But regardless of how you deliver, you can still be an awesome mommy.

Praying for Him

Have you ever noticed that some people are hard to pray for?   It's not that you don't want to pray for that person, but sometimes you don't know how to go about praying for that person.   Or maybe you pray for that person frequently, but you kind of pray the same thing every day.  I've noticed that it's really easy to fall into this rut when you're praying for family members.

Our church started a prayer system this spring, and I've found it extremely helpful.  The men of our church have been praying for their wives, and us wives have been praying for our husbands with the assistance of websites: http://www.prayingforher.com/ and http://www.prayingforhim.com/. Both websites are sponsored by the National Prayer Room.  And when you sign up for the program, you are sent a daily challenge and scripture to help guide your prayers for your spouse for that day. 

I haven't quite finished my 31 day challenge, but my husband (who started his prayer program a month before I even knew about it) says that you can continue the prayer emails after the first month for free (although you might be asked for an optional donation at that point--just thought I'd warn you). 

Anyway, if you're looking for a way to spice up your prayer life or just want to pray for your spouse differently than you have been praying, consider starting your own 31 day program.  We've enjoyed discussing our prayer assignments together and have really appreciated the accountability. 

Daddy's Project

I just have to brag on my husband a little bit.  We found out 3 weeks ago that we're having a little girl, and he's already got her room ready to go!  He spent his 4th of July break transforming my nautical boy nursery to a girly room.  Not only did he do a fabulous job, but he also managed to paint straight, colorful stripes on one textured nursery wall (you know, the kind of wall that paint tape doesn't stick to very well). 

We've got a few more projects for this room before Baby G comes, but if she decided to show up sooner rather than later, she definitely has her own space now.  Yeah for Daddy!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You

I'm almost to the half way point of this pregnancy, and it's been a rough few months.  I certainly couldn't have accomplished half of what I've done (which honestly isn't that much) without the help of my family.  So today, I just wanted to say Thank You to everyone who has aided me in some way.

Thank you to my my mom for helping me with housework, laundry, and for painting my nursery.  Thanks to my dad for helping us fix things around the house.  Thanks to my father-in-law for saving the day when my fence collapsed.  Thanks to my mother-in-law for helping with housework.  Thanks to both my parents and in-laws for all of your babysitting services. Thanks to my grandparents for helping organize and clean the little boys' room, cleaning my kitchen, and helping me sort through boxes of baby boy clothes.  Thank you to my little boys for becoming little helpers too.  And especially, thank you to my wonderful husband for being an awesome team player.  Not only have you jumped in and helped with all the housework, but you've gone above and beyond by helping with meals, hiring a lawn service, and working super hard to get the nursery transformed into a beautiful little girl's space. 

Most importantly, thank you to my dear friends and family for all of your prayers.  My Heavenly Father has been helping me get through each day and He's given me relief when I've needed it.  I have been blessed with a sweet baby girl, a wonderful and supportive family, a skilled physician, and a Great Provider who is always there. 

I know that I'll have to say thank you many more times to all of you before this pregnancy is over, but I just wanted you all to know that I appreciate you and love you all!

The Newest Supreme Court Ruling

http://mydailyclarity.com/2010/03/healthcare-debate-demonstrates-the-failings-of-us-governance/

I'm guessing that you've probably heard by now, but if you haven't, the Supreme Court has finally ruled on the Obama Health Care bill. And yes, SCOTUS (the Supreme Court of the United States) has found the individual mandate to be Constitutional.

In the news, there's been lots of discussion about the Constitutionality of the individual mandate under the tax power vs. Commerce Clause vs. other clauses.  In plain English for those of you who haven't endured hours of Constitutional law, the Court ultimately found that the individual mandate is valid as a tax under Congress's taxing power (which really does exist in the Constitution.)

Do I agree with this finding?  No.  I mean, our President has repeatedly stated that the individual mandate is NOT a tax, so to interpret it as a tax just doesn't make sense.  (Although, notwithstanding the President's own statements, the taxing power really was the best argument that the government had in this case.)  That said, I don't like being told that I have to buy something.  Nor do I like being taxed out my ears.  It just doesn't seem very American.

And now the fun begins.  Over the next months and years, the health care debate is going to ignite into something fierce.  Today may be disappointing for many, but this fight is a long way from being over.  Stay tuned for lots of excitement.

I know that this isn't my typical blog post topic, but I kind of felt like I should at least acknowledge the monumental decision that was passed down today.  A few weeks ago, I took an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States.  And I guess I feel obligated to engage in discussions about our beloved document and how it is wrongly or rightly interpreted.  If any of you are interested in the taxing power or the Commerce Clause or the Constitution itself, I would encourage you to take the free Constitution class offered online from Hillsdale College or call me and I can loan you my Heritage Guide to the Constitution.  Why should you do this?  Because it looks like every single American really is going to be forced to pay a tax for health care.  Now the law is going to personally touch you.

Raising a Southern Belle

 
It's only been 48 hours since I've become consciously aware of the fact that I'm no longer going to be just a Boy Mom, but also a Girl Mom.  I've always heard people say that boys are so much easier, and I think I already know why.

For the last 48 hours, I've in-store and online shopped trying to find the perfect little girl outfits, bedding, and nursery decor.  Don't get me wrong, I certainly did my homework when trying to prepare for little boys, but the process wasn't stressful--and not nearly as expensive. 

I still can't believe that little girls need so much STUFF!  I mean, I'm sure you could provide for a little girl with the bare minimum, but to raise a true Southern belle is lots more work.  She can't just have a onesie and pants.  Oh no!  She needs the dress, the bloomers, the tights, the shoes, the matching hair bow, and a matching sweater or jacket.  And did you know that most stores don't sell all of these items?  (If you know the secret to finding good tights and shoes for a reasonable price, please share!!!) 

Anyway, being a Girl Mom is already hard work--and my little girl won't even be officially joining us for another 5 months!  I can't even imagine how crazy our future is going to be.  But I have to confess that Dear Husband and I are thrilled to be transforming our nursery from a blue nautical haven to a pink and lime green heaven.  And I'm really excited about Baby G's expanding designer wardrobe full of pinks and reds.  (Thanks Grandma, for helping get our Juicy collection started!)

There's just something about raising a girl that's different from raising boys.  There seems to be this extra pressure to make sure that the little girl is raised to be girly and proper.  Or maybe it's the Boy Mom in me hoping that I don't mess up the little girl by raising her with two messy and rough older brothers.  It's possible that most girl moms don't have a clue what I'm talking about.  But somehow, I think that there are some Southern Mamas who understand precisely how hard it is to raise a true Southern Belle!

Her Baby Shoes

I should know better than to argue with a 3 year old, but I've been arguing with my son for the past 3 months.  He has insisted that he is going to have a little sister.  He's also been telling people that he has picked out a name for her.  Of course, every time he tells people this, I have to explain that we don't know if we're having a girl and if we are, we're actually naming her something a little different from what he's calling her.  It has been quite the ordeal.

But now the verdict is in.  The doctor has confirmed our suspicions and we now know the truth.  The doctor was so confident in his findings that he said I could share the news with everyone. Drum roll please... We are officially having a GIRL!

I think my husband and I stared at each other in shock for most of our lunch today.  We had absolutely prepared ourselves for the possibility having scored a hat trick with 3 boys.  We were also prepared to go to war over the naming rights of our little guy.  And now it seems like everything has changed.  For better or worse, we're getting ready to enter the world of little girls. 

We've decided to stick with G names, so if you notice me blogging about Baby G, that's because her name will start with a G.  My 3 year old informed me this afternoon that he would be calling his sister by a certain G name that he likes.  When I told him that her actual name would be different, he replied that I could call her by the name that I like and he would call her by his favorite name.  Go figure.  Now that he knows that he's been right about his sister for the past 3 months, I'm never going to be able to convince him that he's wrong about her again.  He's still gloating.  I'm still in shock.  And we're all looking forward to adding some pink into our lives.

To find more shoes like the ones in the picture above, go to http://lemonadecouture.com/.

Learning to Help

There are definitely some perks to having children.  One of the perks is having little people who can share the work around the house.  My guys love to help, and recently have been assigned the tasks of mopping the floor (thank goodness I bought the mop with the water spray can attached), taking the recycle products to the bin in the garage, and feeding the dog.  My quality of life has improved immensely now that I've discovered that I'm not alone doing housework.

On occasion, I try to teach my boys new household skills that will be useful in the future.  But sometimes these tasks are just too hard.  For example, I taught my oldest how to sort laundry last week.  He was doing great sorting the colored from the whites and the lights until he realized that I hadn't done laundry in about 2 weeks.  There were just too many clothes and too many distractions.  We'll have to keep working on that skill. 

My mom recently discovered that my boys are great helpers and decided to cash in on the free child labor.  Ok, not really.  She actually asked my little one to help her water the flowers with his watering can (which happens to look like a Cars gas can).  He definitely got a lot more out of his task than she did.  As you can see below, this is another skill we're working on...

For now, I'm just thankful that my guys have good attitudes and a desire to help. Somehow watching them help makes housework seem like a lot more fun.

Bible Time

"This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success." Joshua 1:8

A few months ago, our 3 year old informed us that he really needed to start carrying a Bible to church.  While I agree that we should teach our children to carry and care for a Bible, it never occurred to me that a 3 year old was ready for this responsibility.  Apparently he was.  My son is very protective of his Bible and insists that Daddy read it to him at night.

When we bought our son's Bible, I thought it was important to get the same version that they use at church so that he can study his own Bible when he's memorizing verses.  As a result, we bought a kid's ESV Bible.  (Our church has chosen to use the English Standard Version.)  Buying our son's Bible got the ball rolling for the rest of the family.  It occurred to me that since my son had an ESV, it might be wise to buy myself an ESV so that I could be reading the same text as my child.  So, I bought a slim ESV Bible to carry to church in place of my rather large NASB study Bible that I use at home.  For Father's Day, I decided to buy my Dear Husband his own ESV Bible so that the entire family can be on the same page.  And I thought we were in good shape on the Bible front.  Until this morning...

My 2 year old was hanging out in my office while I was reading my Bible.  He was pointing at Daddy's Bible and his brother's Bible and was taking them off the shelf to flip through.  That's when it occurred to me that my youngest wanted his own Bible!  So today, I found a "First Bible" on a shelf in the closet and gave it to my 2 year old.  Not only was he thrilled, but he started flipping through it right away.  And then my 3 year old came and pointed out the picture of Jesus dying on the cross.  He then proceeded to tell us about Jesus dying and raising from the dead 3 days later!  I must say, both boys blew my socks off this morning.

Needless to say, I'm thrilled about the passion that my children have for their Bibles.  They've been singing the B-I-B-L-E for the past month, and they are careful to make sure that we don't leave for church without our Bibles.  I just hope that they see me exhibit a similar passion for my Bible.  I want them to see me reading my Bible.  I want them to hear me talking about what is written in my Bible.  And I hope that they see that God's Word is the authority for my life. 

I'm learning to never underestimate a toddler.  They may seem like they're not retaining anything, but they see and copy everything we do.  What an incredible task we've been given--to be living examples of godly men and women for our children!

Coming Soon...The Gender Reveal

 
Just so you know, we ARE going to find out the gender of our third child prior to delivery.  Our scheduled ultrasound is next week, and I promise to share the results with you all.  We have been amused by the shock and awe of our friends who seem to think that we're nuts for finding out our baby's gender.

So let me explain...

1) We're planners.  We want to be prepared for whatever this little one needs.

2) We want to form a bond with our little one prior to their day of birth by referring to them by their name (rather than Baby #3).

3) We want to be able to pray for our little one by name.

4) We want to be able to provide a gender specific and appropriate environment for our baby.  (Our current nursery is blue with boats and is not girl friendly should we have a girl.)

5) Of course I want to go shopping prior to baby's arrival!  

6) And although some think that finding out a baby's gender ruins the surprise you get during delivery, I promise that there's nothing more surprising than giving birth to your 2nd child only to find out that he looks identical to your first!!!  (I was so shocked at my 2nd delivery, because I had sworn that I had given birth to the same child twice.)

While I know that gender reveal parties are now becoming en vogue, we don't have plans to go to that extreme.  Instead, our little family of 4 has plans to meet with the OB next week for an appointment where he's promised to let us know if we can start buying pink or stick with the blues and plaids already hanging in our closets.  Once we know, we'll share the news.

And no, I haven't done any preliminary tests or tried any superstitious methods to determine if we're having a boy or girl.  We've had a few people tell us their thoughts and prayers on the subject, and I have my own opinion on the matter, but we're still waiting until next week for our confirmation.

Do I have a preference?  Not really.  Of course I would love to buy girl things.  But on the other hand, I'm crazy about my little boys who love me and cuddle with me and want to take care of their Mommy.  I can't imagine how awesome it might be to have another one?!  Honestly though, I just want a happy and healthy baby.  And in a week, maybe I'll even be able to tell you his or her name.  Or maybe I'll keep that a secret...