Out of the Fog

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him...Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil." Psalm 37:7a, 8

I think I'm starting to come out of the fog.  Dear Husband and I had a strange weekend.  Less than 12 hours before we celebrated our 7th anniversary, someone really dropped a bomb on us. You know how they say ignorance is bliss?  Well, it's also true that being "in the know" can be excruciating.  Sometimes knowledge brings with it responsibility and a need to take action.  Sometimes knowledge means you just have to sit tight and keep your mouth shut.  So, in light of the information that was shared with us, Dear Husband and I realized that we were between a rock and a hard place.  (Hey, did I actually use that phrase correctly?  I'm always getting my sayings mixed up.)

Anyway, when I woke up on my anniversary, I was angry.   What was supposed to be a day of wedded bliss turned into a day of agonizing discussion.  Were we supposed to "intervene" in the situation at hand, or were we supposed to go on with life with this new-found knowledge as if we didn't know it?  And regardless of our decision, is it possible that we will ever be at peace with this situation?

Well, God is also very timely.  In my devotions yesterday, He gave me this verse--and an entire chapter on anger issues!  Psalm 37 is God's promise to me that I just need to give the uncomfortable situations and knowledge to Him.  Verse 8 even goes so far as to warn that fretting only leads to evil. Thus, my anger and worrying is not helping.  God is the great and ultimate intervener.  I am not. 

I'm really not convinced that my initial response of anger was actually sinful.  But, my brooding and and my bad attitude were sinful.  For 2 days I have been unproductive.  I've been physically and mentally exhausted.  But yesterday evening when Dear Husband talked to me about giving it to God, I did.

This morning, despite the dreary winter day outside, I'm seeing the first rays of sunlight.  I have joy that I have a personal relationship with my God who loves His people enough to direct their steps.  If I am patient, I know I'll see His work in the lives of those around me and I know God will direct my steps.  He can handle the situations that I cannot.  He can work in ways that are miraculous and amazing.  He can set the prisoners free.  He can make the blind to see.  And in my own life I know that "God is so good, He's so good to me."

Football Pick 'Em is Over

Even though we technically still have a few weeks of NFL pick opportunities on Yahoo, Dear Husband has given up any pretense that he still has a chance to win our first ever pick 'em duel.  I'm accepting his failure to make any picks this week (automatically earning me 9 points) as evidence that he will stipulate for the record that Lovely Wife is the winner and will be the proud owner of a designer handbag in due time.

Now, we just have to go shopping.  I'm sure that after an entire season of hearing me dream out loud about buying a coveted handbag you think I'm going to do something crazy.  And to be quite honest, after putting up with football every weekend for the past half a year, I might be entitled to an "investment" purse.  But if you've read any previous posts, you already know that I very rarely actually pull the trigger when it comes to making giant splurges.  For example, I completely chickened out when Dear Husband offered to buy my all-time favorite Jimmy Choo's as a graduation gift.  So, please don't get your hopes up that I'm going to be sharing any pictures of a Louis Vuitton or (dare I say it?) a Birkin bag any time soon.  Someday I'll cash my tokens in for a personal splurge as a result of this football season, but for the time being, I'm just content to be a winner.

As far as football went yesterday, it was as expected.  Tebow pulled off another last-minute win.  The cowboys handed their opponent another late game victory.  And the Colts lost.  Such is football, so overrated and so predictable.  Even a girl can figure it out.

Strength for Today

 Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain O Israel, 

"My way is hidden from the Lord; My cause is disregarded by my God"?

Do you not know? 

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:27-31

Sometimes we need a little reminder that God will bring "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow." May your Friday be blessed and may you have the strength to accomplish God's purpose for you today.  Happy almost weekend!

Proving Our Worth

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give your rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29

A relative of mine has been enduring the job interview process recently.  I don't envy him.  There is an art to selling yourself to an interviewer that requires the interviewee to be able to read the interviewer to give that person what they want.  For example, I once had an interview where the woman on the other side of the table wasn't nice.  Every time she asked me about a personal trait, she then proceeded to tell me how that might not work for the job.  After a while, I realized that she wanted me to argue.  She wanted me to fight for that job.  I must have won my case at some point, because she eventually hired me to do a position for which I was not qualified.  That was probably my favorite job ever.

Acing an interview is all about knowing what to say to whom.  There are books and books out there with pad answers and advice for interviewees, but unless you can deliver what the interviewer is looking for, you won't get the job.  Sometimes an interviewer wants you to prove how smart you are, sometimes an interviewer wants to see if you can dress well (got another job because the hospital president liked my suit), sometimes you just have to show that you are the person with potential.  To get a job, you have to make yourself a special person and prove your worth.

I'm so thankful that Jesus does not require us to endure an interview and prove our worth in order to follow Him.  When He recruited His disciples, He didn't go to the tier one law school to hire the people on law review with the best grades.  He also didn't go to the country club to hire the offspring of His parents' friends.  Instead, Jesus went and found Joe the plumber (back then he was Simon the fisherman) and He called normal people.  He didn't look for the blogger with the most followers or the teacher who had won teacher-of-the-year.  Jesus called people to join His ministry who didn't deserve to be called.  Why else would he call Saul the I-should-work-for-MSNBC persecutor? 

Romans says that God loves all of us--even the persons we deem to be the scum of society.  Jesus befriended tax collectors, lepers, prostitutes, and foreigners.  Matthew says that he specifically called the weary and burdened!  Jesus did not come to praise or glorify the achievers.  He didn't preach that we should be all we can be or that we should follow or dreams.  Jesus came and told us to humble ourselves, be prepared to suffer for his name, and expect to be shunned by the world.  I wonder, sometimes, if Christians really understand our calling.  Are we teaching Jesus' calling of humility to our children?  Or are we so wrapped up in the American dream and pursuit of happiness that we forget to teach the truth?

None of us are worthy apart from Jesus Christ.  Our earthly successes are fleeting and momentary in the grand scheme of eternity.  Those who follow Christ really do have to renew our minds.  We have to understand that life isn't about being the best we can be.  It's about living in God's will and following His calling for us.  He didn't choose us because we were worthy.  He chose us because God is love.

The Literary Journey

One of the greatest lessons I learned in law school was that READING matters.  How can you learn if you do not read?  How can you expose your mind to truths or concepts without reading?  How can you prevent your brain from becoming dormant and dull without reading books?

Even though I'm supposed to be studying for the Bar (I am actively doing this), I've also challenged myself to read as much as I can.  When I first started working after undergrad, I don't remember reading very much.  Then, when I had a baby I figured I wouldn't have time to read.  I have lots of mommy friends who say that they don't have time to read.  So I kind of put my love of books on hold.  Until law school. 

I don't know if it's because I have the freedom to read whatever I want now (as opposed to hundreds of pages of criminal procedure or ERISA law) or if it's because I've learned that I can learn a lot when I read, but I feel like I'm addicted to books.  Dear Husband and I are total book nerds.  We even go on dates to the bookstore.  We go antique shopping to find books.  And we have become book collectors.  We're not open-minded enough to embrace the "virtual" libraries yet either. And our dream would be to have a house with its own library someday.

Anyway, I read a lot of nonfiction.  (I know, I can hear you groaning.)  And I tend to pick books based on topic or author. Or sometimes I just read random books that look interesting.  Lately, I've been reading a lot of books about what it means to live as a godly woman.  I think it's good for women to hear other women describe biblical womanhood.  We're so inundated with feminism on a daily basis, that we sometimes don't even realize it.  So finding biblically based books written by godly women has been refreshing. 

This week I finished reading Nancy Leigh DeMoss' book, Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free.  This book describes the importance of meditating on God's Word in every day life.  Nancy reminds the reader that when we allow our minds to become numb to our own thinking, we slip into bad attitudes, despair, and sometimes depression.  Each chapter is filled with statements of biblical truth and corresponding verses that she recommends her readers should memorize and meditate upon.  I am confident that anyone who reads this book will walk away with a Truth and a verse in their heart.  You really have to read this with your Bible, because she gives you homework at the end of each chapter. 

This book referenced the writing of some Puritans, whose books I was able to locate on the Barnes and Noble market website.  It looks like my reading is going to get a bit harder in the near future, because reading unabridged Puritan books is almost like reading English legal opinions--sometimes migraine inducing.  But, I look forward to where this new literary journey will take me. 

In case you're interested, I'm going to try harder to keep my BOOK REVIEWS up-to-date.  In the event that you wonder why the topics, genre, or styles of books sometimes follow a pattern and other times wander off the grid, I just wanted to give you a peek inside my brain so you can see why I do what I do.  Hopefully you will get inspired to follow your own literary journey.  And if it's been years since you've been an avid reader, it's never too late to start.  I'm a full-time mother, part-time legal researcher, almost daily blogger who is studying for the Texas Bar, and I still have time to read.  Looks like you're out of excuses.

The Clause

Yesterday my boys had their annual "Train Day" with the in-laws.  Every year, my in-laws take the boys to the train exhibit at the North Park Mall in Dallas.  For my boys, anything having to do with trains is the equivalent to going to Disney Land.  They love trains.  They have tons of trains.  They watch train shows.  They have train books.  Did I say that they love trains?

Anyway, to mark the momentous occasion of the annual trek to Dallas, my mother-in-law bought our boys The Polar Express.  I have to confess that I had never seen the entire movie myself, so I was pretty excited about the movie too.  So yesterday afternoon, when I got home from a litigation meeting at work, my son and I curled up on the couch together and watched The Polar Express.  It was mesmerizing.  How in the world have I not seen this movie before?!

My little guy really liked the movie too, but he completely didn't understand why reindeers needed to pull a bag of presents on the sleigh.  And he was really curious why all the children and elves in the movie wanted to see Santa Clause.  It occurred to me mid-movie that my son had NO IDEA who Santa Clause is!  In fact, when Santa walked out to visit with the elves and children in the movie my son was in awe.  He just kept saying, "The Clause is so big."  He decided that he kind of likes The Clause now.

The Clause just hasn't been a part of our Christmas celebration before.  Our family celebrates Jesus' birthday every year.  My son is really on board with having a month-long birthday party for Jesus where everyone in our neighborhood joins in by hanging lights on their houses.  We've never really attempted to fit Santa Clause into our Christmas.  (Hence the blank stare he gives people when they ask what he wants Santa to bring him.) 

So I guess this year, if you ask my little guy about The Clause, just be prepared for him to give you a religious-sounding explanation about a nice old man who celebrates Jesus' birthday by bringing presents to children.  I'm sure I can fit The Clause into our birthday celebration somehow.  But let us parents not forget, this holiday is about Baby Jesus--the best gift that any child could receive. 

Football Pick 'Em Week 13: Timmy Boy

This afternoon I heard Rush Limbaugh talking about my newest favorite quarterback.  (Go here to read the transcript: Tim Tebow.)  His main point about Timmy boy is that the media hates the guy.  They keep calling him the worst NFL quarterback, yet his statistics are actually better than the opposing quarterbacks he plays.  His coaches complain about him because he talks about Jesus all the time, yet he's a genuinely good player who doesn't need an adult babysitter.  His own general manager gripes that he needs to learn to throw, yet Tebow's team keeps winning games.  Rush has concluded that the animosity towards Tebow is because the media can't stand good people--especially people who profess to know Jesus.

After hearing Rush's dialogue on my new favorite player today, and after watching Denver's ridiculous last-minute win yesterday, I'm an even bigger Tebow fan than I was before.  Even though I'm not a t-shirt kind of gal, I would even wear a Team Tebow shirt to show my support for the guy.  If the media hates him, he's probably worth our support.  But knowing that he's a real Christian with a solid testimony, we really ought to stand up for the guy. We all need to be on Team Tebow.

On an entirely different note, I had another fabulous week in our pick 'em game.  We actually tied in our NFL picks, but college football helped me out.  I can't believe I'm ever going to say this, but Yay for Baylor!  I really needed Baylor and OSU to pick up the W's this week.  And oh, they did. 

I really believe that a game's not over until it's actually over, but I think my husband knows that his game is about OVER!  I'm sure he's very thrilled that we get to spend a weekend purse shopping in our near future.  Don't worry Dear Husband, I'll at least let you wait until after the Super Bowl.  Until then, we can always shop online.

Boys Have "Lunch"

While searching for her Christmas decorations, My mom recently ran across a box labeled "grandkids." The funny thing about this box is that she packed it up and labeled it years ago--long before she had any grandchildren.  According to her, she thought it would be important to pack away some of our best old toys.  These toys included a fake silver tea set, miniature kids'-size tupperware, a really cool barn/farm set, and a few other items.

This week my son discovered these "new" toys at Grandma's house.  Much to my surprise, he actually really liked the tupperware and kitchen items.  So much so, that my mom said he prepared himself a meal on his miniature table.  Once he had cooked his meal, he set the table, sat down, prayed, and then proceeded to eat.  So cute!  When my mom asked the little guy if he was enjoying tea with his new dishes she was a little surprised by his answer.  "No Grandma, boys don't have tea, they have lunch!" 

After this adorable little incident, I decided to see if I could find my own miniature tupperware set from Tupperware's website.  They still have a miniature pitcher and cups, but they're Disney princess cups!!  How discriminatory!  Tupperware needs to do a little research to expand their kid's products.  If they only knew that boys have LUNCH and liked to play with dishes too, maybe they'd go back to the 1980's "fall-colored collection."  That collection was a little more boy friendly and much less dainty.  (And I don't care what the new experts say, I'm not going to encourage my boys to play with pink or purple girly things.)  In the meantime, I guess my little guy will just have to play lunch with my mommy-size dishes.

Now that I know that my son likes to cook, I can't wait until I receive my first invitation to a lunch party.  Doesn't that just sound so American?  I mean, when was the last time you went to a tea party?  Probably many, many lunches ago...

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!  My Dear Husband sparked up the romance last night by taking me out for a fabulous steak dinner and show at Bass Hall.  I love the fact that he surprises me almost every year with tickets to a show around our anniversary.  Seven years ago, we got married and had my dream Christmas wedding.  And as a result, my Dear Husband tries to carry out the Christmas theme every year.  He's so wonderful!

Last night, after a splendid dinner at Ruth's Chris, we went to see my all-time favorite musical, White Christmas.  This was my first time to see the Broadway production (as opposed to the movie that I watch faithfully ever year).  And this show did not disappoint.  The dancing made Dancing With the Stars look like a Jr. high activity.  I seriously have no idea how that 20 something person cast could dance so much for so long and still sing!  I'm still in a daze just thinking about all the tap dancing.  I actually think that the dancing in this show was better than the Rockettes (minus the kickline.)

Over the years, I've seen quite a few Christmas shows.  So far White Christmas has been my favorite.  And for the record, seats 1 and 2 in Box O at Bass Hall are pretty spectacular!  Thanks Dear Husband for my wonderful treat.  So sorry you'll have to endure my renditions of the musical numbers from the show for the next 3 weeks (yes, I know them by heart), but taking me to the show definitely got me into the Christmas spirit!  Even if I don't get snow this year, at least I can say I've had a White Christmas!

Hope you are all having as much fun getting into the Christmas spirit as I am.  And Dear Husband might have to start planning early, because I'm not sure how he's going to top this anniversary gift next year...

Life is Supposed to be Hard

"Then He said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23

I heard a commercial on the radio yesterday that went something like this: "If you've been the victim of wage garnishment... give us a call."  As I sat there at the stop light I was really struck by those words.  How in the world can you be a "victim" of wage garnishment.  I mean, wage garnishment doesn't spontaneously happen.  You actually have to do something to make it happen.  Typically, this means that you did something wrong or failed to fulfill a responsibility in some way.  Uh, like not paying taxes.

Hearing that these tax accountants were trying to get clientele by making tax cheats feel like victims of the IRS really angered me.  Having spent a few years with plaintiffs' counsel, I can tell you what a victim is.  Having heard the stories from my friend who practices criminal law, I could share some gruesome stories of what real victims endure.  As Merriam-Webster's dictionary states, a victim is a person that is "injured, destroyed or sacrificed under any of various conditions...subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment."  A victim is the little guy that is injured by someone or something else outside of his control.  Thus, tax cheats, dads who refuse to pay child support, and college graduates who default on their student loans are NOT VICTIMS.  As the words from the broadway song go, "they had it comin'" and the government has every right to garnish their wages.

Why do we try to make ourselves feel better about our situations by allowing ourselves to become "victims" in our minds?  When the boss is upset with us, when the bills start stacking up, when our children misbehave, when we've over-committed ourselves, we like to embrace the victim mentality.  So many people think that if they just use the victim method (removing themselves from the situation) then they can be happy.   Our society has so completely embraced the victim mentality that parents are now attacking teachers for victimizing their children by giving the children bad grades.  How in the world can we have a society of well-adjusted, happy people if they all want to be victims?

We can't.  Jesus understood this concept.  All through the New Testament we are warned that life is tough--especially for followers of Christ.  Suffering is part of life.  In 1 Peter 5:10  we are told that "after [we've] suffered a little while" then God will make us strong and restore us.  Suffering builds character.  Suffering makes us stronger.  Suffering allows us to rely on someone greater than ourselves to get through each day.  Followers of Christ are going to have daily battles to fight where we'll be called to deny ourselves and suffer. 

So the next time that you think that your day stinks and that you've been treated unfairly and are in the worst possible place at the worst possible time, consider that you might be exactly where you need to be to cultivate you character.  If yesterday was hard, that's ok, because we're called EACH DAY to follow Jesus and to take up our cross.  Today will likely be hard too.  Whether or not we have a good day depends on whether we're willing to make today an opportunity for growth and character development.

I love the words of the Puritan William Law: 

Receive every inward and outward trouble, every disappointment, pain, uneasiness, temptation, darkness and desolation, with both thy hands, as a true opportunity and blessed occasion of dying to self, and entering into a fuller fellowship with thy self-denying, suffering Savior.