Hold Mommy's Hand

 

Sometimes the easiest way to get a point across to my boys is to be overly dramatic.  For example, at the museum last week, the people running an exhibit warned us not to touch the glass because an alarm would go off.  Upon hearing this, I feared that my boys might intentionally touch the glass just to hear the alarm.  So, Mommy told them that if they touched the glass, the police would have to come.  This threat seemed a little more serious to them.  And they behaved quite well, considering the exhibit was mostly artifacts and text.

I also tried using scare tactics recently to convince my boys that they must hold my hand when we cross the street.  I explained that a boy who lived near us was recently hit by a car and killed when he ran ahead of his mom's stroller and wasn't holding her hand (true story).  This story seemed to have the desired effect on my son.  He suddenly got serious, and he asked me what happened to the little boy.  So I repeated the story and said that the little boy died and is now in heaven.

Upon hearing this, my son perked up and got all excited. Suddenly I was flooded with questions like, "So he's with Jesus?" and "Do we get to live forever in heaven?" and "Isn't that little boy better off?" All of a sudden, it occurred to me that my plan had backfired.  Not only had my son missed my point that he needs to hold my hand so that he won't get hit by a car.  But my son was also teaching me a theology lesson.  What I had interpreted to be a sad event--Death--is actually something that believers should look to with joy and anticipation.  And my son, who apparently had a better grasp on this concept than I did, kept assuring me that the little boy in my story is actually much better off now that he's with Jesus.

Wow!  What kind of mother am I that I would make death seem like a scary thing?  And what kind of Christian am I if I'm not celebrating the joy in death?  It seems so backwards to celebrate death.  This world doesn't do that.  I've been raised with the understanding that people are supposed to go through a period of mourning and are supposed to get sympathy cards when death happens. I've grown accustomed to focusing on the loss of the person who died.

But my son is right! Death is actually a good thing for believers.  It means that our period on earth has ended.  It means that we get eternity in heaven. It means that we shouldn't sob and cry when other believers go home to be with Jesus.  We ought to be celebrating! On the other hand, death is something that every unbeliever should fear as it is the beginning of eternity in hell.  From this perspective, death is frightening.  

Death is a serious topic that should be had with my children in an honest manner. In future discussions with my children, I'm going to have to rethink my references to death and dying.  I've learned that I shouldn't attempt to use "dying" as a scare tactic to get my children to be safe.  In the future, I'll have to stick to stories of bodily injury, pain, and suffering.  I guess the advantage to having a Mommy who is a personal injury lawyer is that she has lots of stories about that!