Every Mom Has Her Kryptonite

At the beginning of the summer, Mr. Wonderful convinced me to step down from running a committee at church that was seriously eating up my time.  Then, he contacted our music minister and informed him that I needed to take a few weeks off from playing with the band.  In his opinion, between work and church committee and music ministry and small group hosting and homeschooling and stay-at-home mothering of 3 kids full-time and attempting to be a good housewife, I had over-committed. 

I was, admittedly, offended by the fact that Mr. Wonderful thought I needed a break.  By forcing me to stop doing things that I had committed to do I felt that there was an implication that I was failing and he thought I wasn't supermom.  Now, however, I realize that I was truly over-committed and I wasn't even close to being supermom!  I was getting wound up tight and was getting very annoyed with church people and messy children and husbands who work late. I was kind of losing it.

Instead of taking the summer off to relax--as many thought I was doing--I used this summer to finally catch up on life:  I got caught up on some of my work projects by reading through thousands of pages of medical records.  I cleaned up the boys' room and attempted to solve some of their organizational problems.  I sorted through our clothing and purchased appropriate sized pajamas and church clothes for everyone.  I cleaned my own closet and threw out lots of shoes.  I purchased new rugs for our main living rooms.  I planned and hosted small group dinners and a baby shower and organized meals for a family.  I coordinated our small group's service project.  I helped Boy Wonder finish a Phonics workbook.  I sent the boys to sports camp.  I read to my children.  I walked lots and lots of miles at the mall and on my elliptical.  I managed to keep some potted plants on my front porch alive.  I read a book (it was dumb, but it was a book).  I played many, many games of Connect 4 with my son.  I prayed.  I spent time listening to and trying to encourage other people.  And I rested. 

Having the time to actually complete projects that I both wanted and needed to accomplish was invigorating for me.  How refreshing to actually get to see the fruits of my labor!  For 6 months I kept taking on more and more (I have a problem saying "no") and it seemed like nothing was ever getting accomplished.  And then in all of 4 weeks, everything just started falling into place.  I'm finally enjoying my duties again.  I'm ready to start homeschooling this fall.  I'm enjoying spending time helping out at church.  I'm focusing better on work.  I'm motivated to read my Bible.  And I'm happy.

Super man has his kyrptonite.  And super mom has her over-commitment.  We all have our weaknesses.  How blessed I am that I have a Mr. Wonderful who is willing to recognize my shortcomings and intervene when I need him--even when I don't appreciate his interventions.  I truly needed a little break this summer.  His "intervention" was timely a gift.  I still have quite a lot of things that I want to do in the next couple of months, but I can officially say, "Mommy's Back!"

Where Have All the Older Women Gone?

picture from a Juicy Couture Ad Campaign

I snickered as I drafted the title to this post.  Some might think I'm referring to our culture where women are going to extreme measures to look young (although newsflash: if we can tell you had plastic surgery then we think you're old!)  But that's really not the point of this post.  When I'm talking about the "older women" I'm referring to the Titus definition of older women--the ones who are instructed to teach the younger women how to love their husbands and children, etc.

During the last decade of my adult life, I've been blessed with older women in my life who have instructed me as a wife, mother, professional, and Christian woman.  My mom has always filled this role in my life and has been involved in "my business" and has taken it upon herself to provide accountability and counsel.  I appreciate this.  (I also know that there other girls with whom she has stepped in to fill this role for as well--including the girls who work under her at her job.)  Similarly, I've had godly women who I have worked with and under at various jobs who have openly instructed and taken care of me: Judy, Donna, Debbie, Katie, Lisa B., Lisa W.  I will forever be grateful for the care coordinators in Houston who taught me how to be a wife when I was a newlywed.  Who knew that choosing a career as a nurse would have allowed me to be around so many older women who have had such a huge spiritual impact on my life?

That said, the supply of interactive Titus-motivated women seems to have dried up.  Aside from my mom, I'm not sure who I would go to for accountability and discipleship.  As far as I know, no one at my job would be appropriate for this role.  And at church (pretty much the only other place I go) there are plenty of older women, but I don't know of any who would have the time or desire to truly get involved in my life.  But at least I have my mom.  Some other girls at church have recently revealed to me that they don't even have godly mothers from whom they can seek guidance.  Thus, they feel like all they've got is other people their age.

I have no doubt that the Apostle Paul would have been sad and disheartened if he could have overheard the conversation I had with these girls a few weeks ago.  How is it possible that the older women aren't even aware that they are needed?  And I don't mean that they're needed to greet people at church with smiles and hugs.  They're actually needed!  Younger women need to be able to interact with these women by phone or in-person outside of the church setting.  Younger women need guidance and affirmation from older women who have been-there, done-that.  Younger women need to know that there is an older woman who will be there for them when their babies scream all day, their husbands are in a bad mood, and they just need someone to pray over them.  We need older women as living proof that life is doable!

I know that there are godly, older women out there somewhere.  They seem to be able to congregate for Senior luncheons, game nights, Sunday School, and political events.  How cool would it be if these women rallied around the younger women at church and actually made themselves useful teaching the women?  Maybe it's time the senior ladies hosted a play date for us moms.  That would be something wouldn't it?!

Addendum: The Juicy Campaign pic at the top is kind of a dream of mine.  I would so love to be that stylish girl with a group of chic older ladies to have my back!

Mommy Overload

So much has been happening.  I've created a number blog posts in head lately, but my blogging can't seem to keep up with my brain.  At this point, I'm not even sure what to blog about.  I think I'm on Mommy overload.

Too much is going on and I'm having attention problems.  I've tried desperately to not sit and stare at the news for the last few days, but I can't help getting caught up in the Zimmerman trial.  (Despite terrible jokes, his lawyer is making an excellent case for self defense.)  I can't help tuning in to my radio to hear the latest and greatest about the feud between Governor Perry and Wendy Davis (Still can't figure out how she can argue that the Texas Bill is bad for women--it actually protects both women and babies!) I can't seem to stay off decorating websites and HGTV shows.  (Can you blame me?  I'm practically living out House Hunters in real life!)  And on top of all this, I'm packing up my house, planning my son's birthday party, working on some legal cases, keeping up with my 92 day New Testament read-thru, attempting to cook meals with half of my kitchen in boxes, planning out all the logistics of moving, and still trying to be kind to all those around me who seem to have an opinion about everything going on with my life despite it being none of their business. 

Okay, that may have sounded a little harsh.  The truth is that I'm not good at being micromanaged.  I like to figure things out on my own.  And when I want help, I ask for it.  Other than that, I like my space.  The problem with moving is that nobody gives you space and you are completely at the mercy of all other parties involved.  Plus, you get unsolicited advice and opinions from everyone and their brother about what you should or could do with regards to everything from setting up utilities to decorating the new house.

The combination of dealing with other people plus accomplishing everything that  I actually have to do are starting to get to me.  I have to keep envisioning myself in my happy place--standing on the street corner in Waikiki outside of the Coach and Tiffany's stores sipping a latte and listening to IZ's Somewhere Over the Rainbow.  And then I have to give myself the pep talk.  "Just 2 more weeks." 

In 2 weeks, the hard part will be over.  It will be like Finals Week in law school when you've taken your last final and can at least pretend to forget everything you've jammed inside your brain for the past semester.  That feeling of "I can finally relax because nothing is pressing or pending at this time."  Oh how Mommy can't wait to finally relax!  Just 2 more weeks.

Mommy's New Routine

So we've survived another round of house showings this weekend.  I have the utmost sympathy for people who have to do this for months or years while trying to sell their homes.  10 days of getting my house ready to be shown has turned me into a semi obsessive-compulsive cleaner.  You might think that with my type-A personality that this is not unusual.  But trust me, I've never been accused of being a super neat freak.  I've always had the ability to be organized in a messy way (much to the chagrine of my mother).  My disorganization peeked during my last pregnancy to the point where I was encouraged to hire a maid--something that I think is an utter waste of money.  So anyway, this whole keeping-your-house-beautiful thing is rather stressful for me.  And it's a new experience.

Today, however, I was able to do a victory dance.  The realtor who showed our house yesterday informed our realtor that our house was "extremely clean and well staged" so much so that his clients are thinking about making an offer.  Ironically, the only staging that we did was to move a couch and a TV to the garage.  Other than that, the supposed staging is just how we live.  (I abhor clutter and knick knacks.)  The extremely clean part is just the result of my OCD tendecies that are starting to emerge. 

Every morning I go through the same routine.  I dust, vacuum, sweep, spray the bathrooms, wipe the counters, wash the windows, light candles, and do whatever else I feel compelled to do.  Interestingly, my routine has started to get so nuts that some days I even get out the touch-up paint for the walls, spray special cleaner for the floor grout, and scrub my outside gas grill with Clorox.  I know that I'm obsessing over details that nobody really sees. But the longer the house is for sale and the more I clean it, the dirtier it is appearing to me.  Hence the fact that I was bleaching my pantry yesterday.

Needless to say, when the man said that our house was extremely clean, I was shocked.  The first thing I thought of was "Did he see the crayon mark on my son's closet wall?" or "Did he notice the blue speck of paint on the floor in the laundry room?"  My craziness has gotten to the point that I've been having nightmares where people are seeing rooms that have huge spots where I missed paint.  I mean, I'm turning into a nut case!

I've always been somewhat of a germaphobe.  But now that my germaphobe fears are combined with my real estate OCD, a whole new sort of monster is emerging.  Let's hope this monster doesn't go into heart failure when she buys a new home and has to battle with someone else's former mess. Stay tuned...

Don't Pick Bluebonnets? (Part 2)

Someone sent me an e-mail this morning that was pretty funny in light of yesterday's blog post where I explained that it is not illegal to pick bluebonnets.  Let's just say that after you see these pictures, you might understand why Texans make a big deal about NOT picking bluebonnets.  Maybe the tall tale has served Texans well...

I didn't even attach the grossest picture!  But I think you get the point.  Be careful around the Texas Bluebonnets and don't mess with Texas.

Don't Pick the Bluebonnets?

When I moved to Texas, I was informed that there are some interesting rules that apply only in Texas.  For example, the State flag is the only flag that can fly as high as the US flag, we can secede from the Union whenever we want, and no one is permitted to pick Bluebonnets because it's illegal to pick the state flower.  The last rule about not picking bluebonnets has always made me wonder how it is that people across the state manage to park their cars along highways and take family photos in the bluebonnets without getting into trouble.  Doesn't it seem like some bluebonnets are going to get smashed or suffocated during these photo sessions?  Can these people get tickets for disturbing the bluebonnets?

For years, I've wanted to take family photos in the bluebonnets but wasn't sure how legal the process was.  So let me dispel a huge Texas myth: According to the Texas Department of Public Safety, it is NOT illegal to pick the Texas bluebonnets.  However, it is illegal to trespass and to disturb large portions of state property (like in medians.) But it is not illegal to sit on bluebonnets, take pictures in the bluebonnets, or to pick them.  So if you're thinking about taking family photos in the fields around the airport or in front of a business, beware that you can be ticketed for trespassing--just not for damaging our state flower.

Fortunately for our family, we don't have to trespass to enjoy photos in the flowers.  Some neighbor very smartly must have dropped bluebonnet seeds in our neighborhood's common area greenbelt, because we've started seeing large patches of bluebonnets for the last few years.  And this year, I finally got some photos.  Too bad my subjects weren't as interested in taking pictures as I was.  But aren't they cute?

So the next time you hear a tall tale from a Texan, be sure to check it out before believing it.  And hopefully you too can enjoy the bluebonnets this year.  Just be sure to have some Shout on hand, because I also learned that bluebonnets leave a nice blue stain on clothes! (Thankfully, I was able to Shout it out!)

Sunday School Lessons

"As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God." 1 Peter 4:10

On the way home from church this morning, my son informed my husband and me that he learned something in Sunday school.  He said that he learned about being a servant leader.  My husband and I were pretty impressed at this sophisticated terminology.  It's not very often that you hear a 3 year old talking about servant leadership.  So naturally, we were curious to know what he learned about being a servant leader.  He was a little stumped by this question, but he said he knew he was supposed to be a servant leader.  He said he just wasn't sure how.  I almost giggled when he said that, because I know plenty of adults who don't get this concept either.

It occurred to me that leadership is a valued concept in our society.  Go-getter, bossy people are often praised for their leadership abilities.  And this seems to be something that we promote in our children.  We want them to be the team captain, the drum major, the doctor (as opposed to the nurse), or the lawyer (as opposed to the paralegal).  This emphasis on leadership, however, seems to do a disservice to all of the people who don't know how to be led.  Very few people are actually taught followership (a.k.a. servant-hood.)

Becoming a follower has not been easy for me.  I had to learn this concept pretty quickly working in a hospital though.  It didn't matter how horrible the doctors treated the nurses, we were still supposed to follow and obey.  And it especially didn't matter how nasty the patients and their families were, because our job was to ease and please our patients.  I am thoroughly convinced that anyone who can handle working with surgeons and nasty patients can learn to work under anyone (even lawyers.)  Yet, I must say, that working in the hospital taught me what it meant to be a servant leader.

I once worked with a surgeon who was fantastic.  He called me at all hours of the night shift to check on his patients.  He would make rounds on Saturday mornings where he would spend a good half hour with each patient.  He also made it his own personal policy to be the person who changed his patient's dressings and to help them up to the chair on their first day post-op.  All I had to do as the nurse was to get his supplies and be his back-up.  He literally did my job for me.  But he did it because he cared about providing the best possible surgical care for his patients.  As a result, all the nurses wanted his patients.  We would have jumped through hoops for his patients, because we knew that he had our backs as well.  This surgeon was the epitome of  a servant leader.  He went above and beyond for everyone, even though he didn't have to.

I want to be able to teach my son to be like that surgeon and to go above and beyond for everyone else as well.  I can already see that he is smart and gifted and is a natural leader (he is first-born after all.)  But I want him to see that God has given him these gifts and abilities to use for other people.  God makes leaders out of those who are willing to do whatever it takes to be the best for others.  Those who are willing to work and "employ" the gifts God has given them for the sake of others can be a witness of God's grace to the world--even if that means doing grunt work.

Wouldn't it change the world if we really could instill the servant-leadership mentality into our children at the age of 3?  Thanks New Life Kids for the lessons you've taught my family this week.

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By the way--The song I was struggling with so much last week went pretty well today.  Praise and worship was really awesome this morning! As the words of the song state, "Oh magnify the Lord together, exalt His name forever!"