The Hardest Part of Parenting

The hardest part of parenting is learning not to listen to EVERYONE ELSE.

Parenting should be this amazing adventure of discovery and survival.  It should be an experience of bonding and learning how to communicate with a new life.  It should be a customized journey for each child that recognizes and celebrates their individuality.  But unfortunately, it's a guilt-ridden, headache inducing battle for many families.  Too many moms don't learn to shut out the "noise" from books, culture, relatives, friends, etc. (Yes, Dr. Sears, I'm talking about you too!)  Too many parents see what their friends are doing or what some book says and immediately slap themselves upside the head for not doing that too.  It's pretty sad.

To all the new parents in the world, I would encourage you to stick with your gut.  Use common sense.  And tell the busy bodies to buzz off. You are the parent. Your baby loves you.  So love on your baby and don't let anyone else make you feel bad for being you. 

We are not all created to be the same.  Nor are our children.  I don't want my baby to turn out to be just like yours.  I want him to turn out to be the man God created him to be.  So this is my parenting plan: Rely on God to give me the strength and wisdom to make choices that are in the best interest of MY child.  And all other advice can stay on the shelf where it belongs.

Preeclampsia, Preemie, and Perfect Ending

It's been 4 months since I announced we were going to have a boy.   And so much has happened...

Baby G4 was born in October.  He was 5 weeks early and weighed 3 lbs 14 oz.  5 weeks prior to his delivery, I was hospitalized and diagnosed with preeclampsia.  I had known it was coming.  That maternal instinct just made me feel in my gut that I was headed down this path.  I even started asking for prayer related to my (not yet diagnosed) preeclampsia in August.  In September, on the day I got admitted to L & D, I felt fine.  Still, I had insisted to everyone that I was going to get admitted that day.  I was right.  At 30 weeks and 2 days of pregnancy, my adventure began.

At L & D, my lab work and blood pressure checked out much better than expected.  I was stable and did not need to be placed in the hospital indefinitely.  After 24 hours, my OB released me to "house arrest."  I was instructed to not leave my house and to not go up my stairs.  My only relief was twice weekly appointments to the OB's office for monitoring.  Oh, and I was told to keep my bags packed in case we needed an emergent delivery or admit to the hospital.  This state of pregnancy/ modified bed rest purgatory miraculously lasted for another 5 weeks.

It all went downhill when I hit 35 weeks.  On Monday I checked out fine, but we could tell from the sonogram that baby was small.  By Thursday, my blood pressure was ridiculously high, my amniotic fluid had virtually disappeared, and the biophysical profile showed that baby had not grown in 2 weeks!  I was immediately admitted to L & D where they hooked me up to monitors.  Within 3 hours, the monitors were showing signs of fetal distress, which earned me a trip to the operating room.

The OR was full of personnel.  I had 2 anesthesiologists, an anesthesia tech, a CRNA, 2 surgeons, multiple nurses, multiple scrub techs, a neonatal nurse practitioner, a NICU tech, and my husband.  There was lots of excitement, but all I could focus on was the blood pressure cuff that was squeezing the life out of my hand.  My blood pressure was so high that every 2 minutes when the cuff squeezed my arm, my fingers would get tingly and my arm would turn purple.  It was awful.  (Plus there was an anesthesiologist who I really wanted to smack for being a jerk.)  But then anesthesiologist #2 showed up.  He made me feel wonderful, massaged my back, and talked me through the entire procedure.  He even worked with the nurses to arrange for me to hold my baby when he was delivered.

When the little guy arrived, he was screaming at the top of his lungs.  It was a very welcomed sound.  A baby with preeclampsia and deep decelerations on the fetal monitor could easily be in bad shape.  But my baby was beautiful, pink, loud, and TINY!  His less than 4 pound self was placed on my chest where he calmed down and cuddled with me.  At the point where I felt that my arms couldn't hold him any more, I handed him off to his daddy who accompanied him to the NICU.  20 hours later, I was finally disconnected from my anti-seizure drugs and was allowed to hold and feed him.  That seemed like the longest day. 

On day 4, I had to be discharged from the hospital without my little guy.  His blood sugar was unstable and jaundice had set in.  I cried and cried.  Leaving labor and delivery without a baby is devastating.

After 9 nights of care from his team of special nurses in the NICU, I officially became the only nurse that my little guy needed.  He was discharged to us on Halloween morning.  Even though I crashed that afternoon and don't remember much about that day, Halloween will forever be a special day for me.  It was the first time my family of 6 was together.  And even though I detest the goblins and zombies, next year we will have to go all-out and celebrate it as our family holiday.

G4 is adorable.  He started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks old.  He cries when he's hungry, but is otherwise a very content child.  He even enjoys watching ball games with his Daddy.  In spite of the high risk pregnancy and prenatal growth issues, he's a healthy beautiful boy!  He is a perfect ending to a hard and high risk ordeal!

It's a ...

Boy!  Baby #4 finally cooperated and gave us proof that he is indeed a boy.  As Mr. Wonderful so wonderfully put it today, "we're finally getting our own 3rd baseman!" 

A Fun Video That Sums it All Up

Something about having another baby and starting the school year again seems to cause the Mommy War crazies to come out of the woodwork.  I honestly get tired of having to combat questions about why I'm not a "crunchy" mom, why my children aren't in school, and why I consider modern medicine a trustworthy resource.  I come from a very different background than many other mommies, and I think we're all entitled to our own opinions and perspectives.  And I really don't see why I need to apologize for my opinions or justify them in any way.  (And if you want to cloth diaper your exclusively breastfed child who spends all day in day care and co-sleeps with you at night--Go For It!)

So anyway, I came across the Mommy Wars video (produced by Similiac) and I couldn't stop laughing.  All of my friends fit into at least one of these categories.  And I think we would all agree on the ending.  Enjoy:

The Unexpected Socialization Advantage to Homeschooling

 

Sometimes I feel like I'm on an island.  On my island, life actually runs pretty smoothly.  My children have a routine, they are enthusiastically learning, and Mr. Wonderful and I are seeing growth and maturity in each of their lives.  I actually like our island life.  But I must confess, sometimes I get insecure about the fact that I don't always know what's going on outside of our little plot of land.

Everybody says that when you start homeschooling, you really need a good support network.  This makes perfect sense, because it can be very scary to wade out into the water of the unknown by yourself.  Unfortunately, the aforementioned "support network" isn't necessarily readily available--even in a huge multi-city area like where I live.  Sadly, support groups don't grow on trees.  Sure, we have co-ops galore, university model schools everywhere, and random homeschool classes (which we love).  But I can honestly say, I don't have a network of homeschool moms who I can call or turn to for help.  I'm just really lucky to have family members who are willing to talk me off the cliffs when I'm having one of my panicky days.

I was pretty proud of myself when we survived an entire year of kindergarten without too many hiccups in spite of not having a support network.  I heard good reports from our museum school teachers and summer golf coaches about what a great little guy I have and how respectful and smart he is, so I figured that something had gone right last year.  Plus, we were plenty far enough ahead in our curriculum to feel like we were on the right track.  In spite of my instincts that my kids are doing great, I still had this nagging sense of wonder about where my children are in comparison to other kids.  It's hard to compare when you're not regularly around other kids!

It wasn't until I sat in on a class at church last week that I realized how amazing my kids are.  I will be the first to admit when we are struggling with an area, so I'm not one to brag as a sanctimommy by any means.  But I've got to be honest, a lot of the kids at church are irreverent, rude little beasts!  Had I caught either of my boys behaving like the kiddos I saw, I would have been tempted to drag them out of class by their hair.  I knew that there were behavior problems in the elementary classes at church, because my oldest hates to go to class where the "other" kids are constantly getting in trouble.  I absolutely wasn't prepared to also witness a preschool class where most of the children were out-right bad, while my 5 year old sat quietly on his carpet square listening to the story.  It was both a sad and enlightening experience.  Do parents not care about the fact that their children don't know how to behave?  Or do they not realize that they can expect better from their little people?  Or are my expectations just really that much higher for my kids?

Then it dawned on me--just because a child goes to preschool and elementary school and gets "socialized" doesn't necessarily mean that his parents have a clue about his actual social behavior.  When you're with your child everyday, for better or worse, you are intimately acquainted with their behavior flaws.  You have the opportunity to practice social skills in public with your neighborhood barista, Target check-out ladies, librarians, and countless other people that you encounter throughout the week. I can sit on a park bench during science class at the nature center and watch him interact with the other homeschool children in his class.  And Mr. Wonderful can observe him on the golf course as he practices his golf etiquette with his competitors. If I sent my boys off to a classroom everyday, it would be much harder to get a feel for their peer and adult interactions because I wouldn't be there to witness it. 

I'm not saying that there aren't some great kiddos who go to school everyday.  (Hello! I was one of them, if I do say so myself.)  But I am saying that this misnomer that homeschooled kids aren't or can't get properly socialized because they're not around kids every day is just poor logic.  My kids learn their social skills from me, as opposed to from other 5 and 7 year old children.  Plus, we don't have to deal with peer pressure problems from other children, because my guys are learning to be responsible for their own behavior.

Until last week, it never even occurred to me that homeschooling has given me a huge advantage from a parenting aspect because I have all day, almost every day, (we do have outside classes) to reinforce good behavior and attitudes.  Although we initially started out homeschooling because we saw that there could be huge academic advantages, Mr. Wonderful and I are seeing that there are benefits to living life on our island that we never expected.  Who knew that teaching social skills to homeschooled children would be so easy?

School is Back in Session

Figured I would come out of my pregnancy hibernation to share some updates... 

I can't believe that I'm only about 10 or 11 weeks from meeting my newest little one.  Oh how I wish I could share with you whether I'm having a boy or girl, but this baby has absolutely refused to reveal itself to us in spite of multiple ultrasounds.  It's becoming routine for me to tell people that hopefully we'll find out "at next month's ultrasound."  But if I don't find out in 2 weeks, we're going to be officially Team Green on this child.  The doctor says what we've seen looks more like a boy than a girl, but he's still not completely sure.  Either way, baby is getting a red plaid bear and moose nursery.  If it's a girl, we'll just add a few bows here and there.

Not only are we in baby mode again, but we're back on the homeschool saddle for this school year.  We've almost completed three weeks of 1st grade!  This year is going light years better than last year--partly because I'm not a rookie mom making rookie mistakes, and partly because my little guy is much more engaged this year. 

After the tears and headaches of last spring, I decided to change up our curriculum.  I still like the idea of a Charlotte Mason combined with a classical approach, but I'm not committing myself to a "style" this year.  I threw out half of the Memoria Press plan for 2nd grade (our guy is a year ahead), and decided that we'll revisit their curriculum in junior high when we're ready to dive more into a classical study.  I still really like some aspects of the curriculum, but I can honestly say that phonics was discouraging and we're not ready for the American cursive that is pervasive in all their 1st and 2nd grade workbooks.

Since I'm a bit more systematic in my own approach to learning, I decided to choose curriculum on a subject-by-subject basis.  A year ago, I would have died at the thought of "customizing" my own plan.  But as it turns out, I don't follow guidelines so well myself, and pre-prepared teacher lesson plans kind of get on my nerves (if you're a professional educator, I'm sure this statement makes you cringe).  Anyway, starting from scratch with each subject has been loads of fun.

For now, we're using the following books for these subjects:

• Bible- God's Great Covenant OT (1) by Classical Academic Press
• Spelling- 2nd grade spelling by BJU Press
• English- 2nd grade English by BJU Press (coordinates with spelling)
• Math- grade 3 by Rod & Staff
• Social Studies- grade 2 by Rod & Staff
• Science- Grade 1 by Christian Liberty Press; Homeschool Zoo classes once per month; and a homeschool class at a local nature preserve once a week (how many kids get to go on a 60 minute hike in the woods every week?!)
• Writing- Handwriting Without Tears, 1st grade 
• Reading- we're spending our first quarter reading science books for kids; we've also incorporated weekly book reports
• PE- Jr. PGA golf tournaments; will sign up for basketball this winter

Next semester we will be adding a health and manners book, Latin, and science grade 2 when we finish some of the subjects we're currently doing.

How are we going to pull all of this off with a new baby?  Who knows?!  We'll figure it out.  12 weeks ago I would have told you that I would be too sick to homeschool in August, but here we are.

I really want to document our school experiences more, so I'll try to do better.  But with Baby #4 coming so soon, I'm not making any promises.  Just know that I haven't forgot y'all.  Can't wait to share stories about life as a family of 6.  (And no, there will be no bump pictures for you.  I'm not sicko enough to think that's cute.  If you really want to know what my little self looks like pregnant, you'll have to call my mom.  Otherwise, you'll just have to wait for pics of the baby...)

Time to Celebrate!

 

We did it!  Today is a day of celebration.

Today was the official last day to our first year of homeschooling.  Our kindergartner is now a 1st grader!

This year started out great.  Then we had some bumps in the road that we had to deal with (mom thinking like an institutionalized educated person and needing to get "out of the box", attitudes, morning sickness, and being rained-in the house for the last month).  Thankfully, all members of our homeschool team stepped up with encouragement and help when we needed it.  And we did it.

Yes, that's right.  I included morning sickness as one of our problems.  To say that I have been "under-the-weather" for the last couple of months would be a huge understatement.  We found out in March that baby #4 will be joining us this fall!  And pretty much ever since, this baby has made me sicker than I thought a pregnant lady could be (and yes, hyperemesis gravidarum is a real thing!).  I would have blogged sooner, but did you really want to read posts by a miserable pregnant lady?  Didn't think so.

I feel like there's so much to say about what's happened over the course of our last few months, but that can wait.  Today is a day to celebrate and be thankful for the successful end of a first school year and the successful end to a hard first trimester! Thanks to everyone who has been praying for us.  And we give our ultimate thanks to God who has been carrying us along! 

Sunday Shoes

http://joyfolie.com/shoes

My boys are very predictable.  When we pick our oldest son up from his Sunday School class the teacher always tells us that he listened well, answered the questions, and was a good helper.   He's involved, excited to be in his class, and he makes the teacher feel like someone understood her lesson.  Tornado man, the middle boy, is entirely different.  In spite of his nickname, he's very quiet.  His Sunday School teachers usually get really excited when he participates at all.  Although he can come home and recite almost every lesson or Bible verse verbatim, in the classroom, he's generally withdrawn and shy. 

And then there is Princess G.  It seems that every week her teachers share an interesting story about her.  They love her and think she's adorable, yet she is anything but predictable.  For example, there was the week when she had to defend herself against the rest of the class, which was apparently all boys.  Supposedly, some boy attempted to take her truck away and she put up a fight and won.  Then there was the week that she refused to take off her leather jacket because it was cute and she didn't want to give it away.  Then there was the week that she decided to dance during the entire class to every song playing on the CD player.  Or there was another week where she wanted someone to read a book to her and she listened well.  Or there was a different week when she decided to be all artsy and did some serious coloring.  Its seems that class with the princess is never dull.

This week, Princess G was on a different kind of mission.  She was on a shoe hunt.  Apparently, during the class time, she cornered each girl in her class and discussed their shoes with them.  I'm sure the conversations went something like "cute shoes" or "like your boots" or something similar.  It's hard to say.  She gets all excited about her own shoes or boots that I lay out on Sunday mornings, so I guess she decided to get all excited about EVERYBODY'S shoes this week.

I wish I could say that I have no idea why Princess G is obsessed with shoes.  But I'd be lying.  She's somewhat a creature of her own environment and she definitely has some genetic shoe disorder like her mother.  What can I say?  I too approached someone at church to talk about her pretty heels yesterday.  I guess us girls speak a language of our own.  Shoes are like an art form to us.  They're great conversation pieces, and they're a great tool for making friends at church!

Princess G's Fashion Trends

When I found out I was having a little girl, I obsessed about girly things like bows and sparkles and anything pink.  Now that Princess G is 2 years old, it's safe to say that she has a great collection of hair bows and headbands.  Thanks to everyone who has contributed to this cause--including my friend Casey who made us some fab custom bows!  I have learned that a girl is never too young for blingy accessories.  And mommies who fail to accessorize are missing out on one of the most enjoyable aspects of being a SMOG (smug mothers of girls). 

Like any stylish girl, my Princess G has found her own trends for this season.  It might sound rather diva-ish that she has her own trends at the age of 2, but if you meet her, you'll understand that her artistic personality needs an outlet for her personal expression.  Thus, she has her own style trends.

Sadly, one of her trends this year involves NOT wearing bows.  (Go figure!)  Instead she's obsessed with wearing hats.  And she adores boots and coats.  If you saw my closet, you'd probably understand the boots and coats obsession, but the hat trend is all Princess G.  She has learned that if she leaves the hats on, she gets quite the buzz when we go shopping.  Who doesn't love a little princess in a red tam?

At first, I figured that the hat obsession was just to spite me since she knows I'm a "no bow, no go" mamma.  But in reality, I think she just likes hats.  

He Got His Face Wet

The first Sunday morning of the year, our 6 year old was baptized in our church.  It was exciting to get to share this special time with family and friends as he publicly professed his faith.  He had asked to be baptized almost a year ago, but a fear of getting his face wet led to the year delay.  So watching him get baptized was a huge step of maturity for him both spiritually and physically.  Our boy is growing up!

 

Smiling at 2015

Happy 2015!  2015 has kicked off nicely so far.  Boy Wonder got baptized the first Sunday of the month.  The great-grandparents are visiting, and nobody has had a heart attack (see posts from last January for more on that).  The Cowboys made the playoffs.  SMU is actually winning basketball games again.  It's 60 degrees outside!  And since we're so far ahead in school, we decided to enjoy a lighter homeschool J-term schedule.  (I realize that J-terms are usually something that you take in college, but I prefer the college schedule over the elementary school year.)

It's officially been 1 year since we started our homeschooling experiment.  It was last January that we started working through the kindergarten curriculum.  After 1 year, we've come a long way:

• I've come to the realization that I don't have to follow the curriculum schedule.  If the entire point of homeschooling is to customize my son's education, then why should I commit to following someone else's schedule? This revelation (okay, it's something that I've read in multiple homeschool books) has made homeschooling much more enjoyable for me.

• Boy Wonder is doing well in school.  He has whipped through kindergarten and first grade math and is currently forging through the 2nd grade curriculum.  He is now reading books aloud and writing/illustrating his own book reports.  He loves science and is thoroughly enjoying studying ecosystems at the museum each week.  He has figured out that the trick to spelling involves memorization and now he is mastering his spelling words as quickly as his Bible verse each week!

• Tornado Man has begged to start school.  Even though he's 2 years away from kindergarten, he pulled out the kindergarten math book and started working through it ON HIS OWN!  Once I realized what he was doing, I decided to officially let him start homeschooling this January.  Turns out that the little boy who runs into everything, is also a self-motivated perfectionist.  What could be more appealing to a homeschool mom?

• The little boys, who for the past few years have screamed in the bath tub every time I've tried to wash their hair, are taking swimming lessons.  And they love it.  Go figure.

• Princess G is finally out of her crib and has adapted well to her big girl room.  She's already learned how to put together matching outfits, change her own diaper, and talk so that you can actually understand what she says.  She also loves coats and boots!  Wonder where she picked that up from? 

• Mr. Wonderful and I celebrated our 10th anniversary last month!  Not only that, but he's already made reservations for dinner for Valentine's weekend. Need I say more?

•  We're still hosting a small group at our home once a week.  I realize that this isn't a big deal for most people, but I no longer have anxiety about having people in my home!  Hospitality is something that can be learned.

Honestly, I could have, and probably should, have written dozens of blog posts over the past few months.  God has taught us so much and has revealed some amazing truths and promises this past year.  I really want to communicate more in the future to share what I'm learning with, well, whoever reads these posts.  I might be a little busy, (homeschooling, working as a lawyer, raising 3 kids, etc), but I should never be too busy to share all the good things that God has done!  Hope you had a wonderful 2014 and are able to smile at the future.

Toys That Make Noise

 
I enjoy toy shopping.  No, seriously, toy stores and toy aisles are loads of fun!  I love pushing buttons to see the wheels spin on a car or to hear music play.  There's something delightfully stimulating about playing in the toy aisle. 

That said, toys can be evil.  Those adorable little toys that roll and sing and play music can turn into mechanical nightmares.  They make noise and noise and more noise.  Parents of toddlers or preschoolers or elementary age children do not need to add noise to their homes.  Our homes are plenty loud without the beeping truck, the singing ball, the ticking drum, etc. (and yes, we have all of these!).  Today, I discovered the most evil of noisy toys.  It was cute and enticing and almost tempting to the untrained mommy eye.  Had I not known what I know about noisy toys, I might have wanted to purchase it.

This little noise maker was a beautiful little baby doll.  She was small; she had an adorably cute face; and she came with her own accessories.  The box for the doll, however, indicated that if you press her tummy in a cute way that she would make noise.  So I pressed her tummy.  And that baby cried! This was not a cute little Minnie Mouse that talks or singing Olaf.  Nope, this doll cried a real babyish cry.  It was that mournful, I'm kind of hungry and I'm really upset cry.  It gave me shivers up my spine when I heard the poor little thing. 

Naturally, Princess G thought that the crying baby was amazing.  She kept giggling and begging me to push the button again.  If you didn't know any better, you would have wanted to buy it as a little gift for her.  But all I could think about was this: I've spent the better part of the last 6 years dealing with crying babies and toddlers.  What would possess me to buy something else that cried for no reason?!

Ugh.  As you're out toy shopping this Christmas, beware of cuteness when it comes to toys.  They might elicit the excitement and adoration of a 2 year old, but they can add to a mommy's insanity.  And yes, should you purchase a loud and obnoxious toy for my child like a crying baby doll, Dear Husband and I promise to return the favor.

School Pictures

During one of my freak-out homeschool mommy moments, I started wondering how many "normal" activities my kids would miss by not going to school.  For some reason, Picture Day kept coming to mind (seriously?).  Since I'm not much of a picture person, it's ironic that I was worried about my kiddos not getting to have their pictures made at school.  It's not like I was planning on hanging up pics of my children against boring blue or fake bookshelf backdrops. 

Anyway, because my children aren't going to miss out on anything, our personal photographer took Kindergarten and Pre-K photos for us.  After she sent me these photos, I realized that it was I who had missed out on something great.  For years, I had been photographed at school without having my mom to fix my hair or tell me how to smile.  No one ever took the time to photograph me "in my element" (a la the train tracks above).  Instead, I had been shuffled through for the annual mugshot that will forever mark me in the pages of whatever institution I was attending.  Very rarely did these shots flatter me or evoke some special memory. Even my photos in cap and gown still make me gag.  Those photos don't say anything about me!

So lest my children think that they are missing out on something special at school called Picture Day, I can assure them that they are not.  They might not be in a 100 page book filled with other children's mugshots, but their pictures will be taken by someone who can give them undivided attention.  Mommy will work with the photographer to touch up or re-do the photos.  And someday, they'll be proud to show their own children pictures of them when they were in school.

Don't Take Parenthood for Granted

I sat through my first continuing legal education class today.  Okay, technically it wasn't my first CLE, but it was my first "live" class to attend.  My frugal self likes to take the freebie classes I find online.  Today, however, I ventured out into the adult world.

I chose this particular class because it was sponsored by the Texas Homeschool Coalition.  Half of the day was relevant to me as a mother and lawyer, but the other half was a fascinating presentation by some lawyers who actually practice family law in courtroom on a regular basis.  Totally not my area of expertise.  That said, these folks do amazing work representing parents!

Today, I was reminded of what a privilege it is to be a parent.  It's easy to take my "parent" status for granted.  Yet, there are people out there working hard to regain or maintain that privilege that they may have lost--sometimes through no real fault of their own.

As a school nurse, parents aggravated me a lot.  They would send their kids to school with dirty clothes, no socks, no coat, lice in their hair, no lunch, with high fevers, etc.  Then, when I would call home to explain that their child needed medical attention or clothing, the parents would get mad at me!  I can't tell you how many times I had to explain that I do not give lice to children or actively seek out fevers.  They happen.  And good parents deal with it.  Mainly, because they're good parents who love their kids. 

Now that I have children of my own, I know what a pain in the backside it can be to have to cancel my plans to cart the kiddos around town to the urgent care or pharmacy when someone starts sneezing the wrong way or screaming because they bumped their nose.  It's absolutely horrific to sit in a doctor's office for 5+ hours having all 3 children tested for a disease and treated for whatever ailment they've managed to acquire.  I get it.  I've done it.  I will likely do it again.  Why?  Because I'm a mom!

It's easy to forget that the grossness that comes along with being a mom is a privilege.  When you're up to your elbows cleaning up a body fluid from a spot on the floor where it doesn't belong,  it can slip your mind that you are lucky to be getting to do this job.  But not everyone gets to clean up stinky messes or sticky fingerprints.  Only those of us who have the privilege of being parents get these opportunities. 

Some of us suffered through pregnancy to birth our little ones; some adopted and gave love that another parent couldn't give; and some have found other methods to parent and love a child.  Don't take this privilege for granted.  It's not absolute.  And time is fleeting. 

Now go hug a kid.

Goodbye Sweet November!

Photo provided by my 4 year old. 

Hmmm...  Apparently I missed a month.  Somehow November came and went and I recorded NOTHING!  So here's my November update a few days late:

• Baby G, now Princess G, turned 2 years old!  We are officially out of the baby phase at our house.  We even moved the crib downstairs and gave Princess G's room a re-do with a sparkly big girl bed and matching dresser.  If I ever get her curtains hung, hopefully I can post some pics.  It's very pink and everything Mommy dreamed about when she found out she was having a little girl. There's nothing shabby chic, vintage, or cutesy about it.  This girl lives in a world of pink frills and bling!
• We hosted 2 Thanksgiving dinners at our house.  The first dinner was with our small group family from our church.  One of the guys fried up 2 turkeys and showed us how Thanksgiving in the South is supposed to taste.  So, for our 2nd Thanksgiving dinner with our actual families, we decided that a creole bird was the way to go.  There's nothing like creole butter and seasoning to add some flavor to a usually bland holiday meal!
• We attended Homeschool Week at the Sea Life Park twice.  From now on, we are definitely capitalizing on homeschool week wherever we can find it.  No field trips or crazy crowds and discounted tickets!  This was a field trip that we will repeat.
•  We decorated for Christmas a little earlier than usual.  In the past, I've been big on golds and whites and fancy decor.  But this year, I decided that my very Texas house needed some Texas-like decor.  So imagine red burlap bows, cowboy boot stockings, beads, tin stars, reclaimed wood picture frames, and red sweater-like couch pillows.  Just thinking about it makes me want a cup of hot chocolate.  
• We're getting new neighbors.  A moving van showed up across the street at the beginning of the month and our previous neighbors drove off without any warning.  The next day, a For Sale sign showed up and the inspector and fix-it guys showed up this week to get the house ready for a new family!
• We had our first freeze. 
• We went to our last SMU home football game.  It was as painful as expected.  But hopefully next season will be a little more exciting with the newly hired Coach Morris!
• Some cool things happened at work with some cases I've been working on, but the details are kind of confidential (you'll have to use your imagination).
• We started 2nd grade math! When Boy Wonder finished his last lesson in the 1st grade book, I ventured over to our local Mardel store in search of more math.  They were able to order our next set of books right in time for our little guy to get started.  (Rod and Staff won't sell their books on a website since they are Mennonite, but you can order via catalog or phone or at Mardel).  Our little guy was so excited about his new books that he finished 12 lessons in 1 week!  Now if I can only get him to stop telling people that he's in 2nd grade (he's in kindergarten) we'll be in good shape. 

Wow!  So much happened last month and this little blog post is all I have to show for it.  Such is life when you're having fun.

Tears Happen

I really didn't think it could happen to me.  I've read that it happens to other moms.  I've heard rumors that it happens frequently when you homeschool. I really didn't think that I would actually break down and cry--especially in a public place.  But I did.

I think some days and weeks just make you cry.  It's easy to get overwhelmed.  You try to follow curriculum and realize that your child is on a different week's lesson (or year) for each subject.  It gets confusing. Then you realize that the assigned reading book is really boring.  Then you skip reading for a couple of days.  And then you start brainstorming who else is going to spend hours of their day listening to your kindergartner grader read these boring "classic" books. Seriously, I was thinking about taking my son to the retirement home by our house so that the older people could listen to him read! 

Then on Sunday during the sermon it occurred to me that I must be a horrible mom, a terrible teacher, and a lazy person.  The last few weeks I've felt that I live in a combat zone.  I might as well be throwing a mortar shell when I ask my son to complete his phonics pages.  The day that I had the audacity to request that my pupil take an afternoon nap, he literally started launching projectiles down the stairs.  I'm not kidding when I say that school has been nothing short of war.  So when the pastor starting preaching on Sunday about how a godly woman is a peaceful woman, I started to cry.  Is it possible to homeschool in peace?

After my sobbing episode on Sunday, someone offered to substitute for me on Monday.  This gave me time to reflect on my predicament and my lesson plans.  A wise person pointed out that my lesson plans have been pretty demanding for a kindergartner.  Since I'm not regularly around other kindergartners, it's easy to lose sight of how easy and breezy kindergarten can be!  Most kindergartners are not studying the Assyrian empire, fractions, and binomial nomenclature.  Yet, the fact that my son understands these concepts and can quote all of his weekly memory verses is a pretty good sign that I'm not failing as a teacher.  I just need to learn how to relax and enjoy the process and maybe not be quite so ambitious.

I obviously haven't gotten this whole homeschooling thing entirely figured out.  Truth is, with three kids who have three very different personalities, I may never figure out the magic formula for perfectly balancing my mommy and teacher roles.  In fact, there may be more tears in the future.   And it's okay. I just keep telling myself that sometimes God allows us to cry for tears to clear our eyes so that we can see the good things ahead (author unknown).

Teaching Music

Learning music is like learning a foreign language.  It stretches you.  It takes time.  You may never use it professionally later in life.  But it's worth the effort to not be illiterate in an international language that crosses cultures, continents, and classes.  It's worth opening your heart and mind to an art form that requires high levels of brain function and emotion at the same time.  Martin Luther (the theologian) once said, "Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world."  So why not share that treasure with our children?

The concept of teaching basic music is not new.  In fact, way back when I was in elementary school, basic music instruction was a part of the curriculum.  Every week, my class would head to the music hall where we would have a class in basic music theory.  Then, by the time we were in 3rd or 4th grade, we knew enough music to be able to play the recorder (this is an instrument).  It may have seemed like a waste of time to some, but having this hour of music each week made school more interesting and taught me musical concepts that I still use today.  If you don't get music instruction at school, where else are you going to get it?

Needless to say, our kindergarten curriculum involves learning music.  We decided to start music instruction with piano lessons.  Boy Wonder is a little young for piano lessons (when I taught piano lessons, I preferred having my students start in 1st or 2nd grade), but since he has a good grasp on math, I figured we might as well forge ahead into the world of music.  As expected, after only a few weeks, we're at the point where we can combine music with our math or spelling curriculum and create a hybrid lesson.

The best part about hybrid lessons is that it's not difficult to come up with these kind of problems if you know any musical theory.  If you don't know musical theory or are too busy to create your own worksheets like me, there are some great resources on the internet.  For example, I found this wonderful website, http://funandlearnmusic.com/ that has free downloadable music math pages which are way cuter than any I would create on my own.  This website has quite a few worksheets that address both basic and more advanced theory concepts in a fun way. 

Hybrid lessons work for just about every subject in school.  Music Math is kind of awesome. It forces the student to learn and memorize music concepts while allowing them to practice their math skills.
Similarly, Music Spelling with the A-G alphabet reinforces basic spelling with note recognition.  For kiddos who struggle to identify the lines and spaces on the grand staff, Music Spelling can help. Aside from musical theory, there are tons of opportunities to use music in our Bible, Social Studies, History and Science lessons as well.  In fact, I will never forget my pronouns or helping verbs because my middle school English teacher used music to help us memorize all kinds of concepts!  Who knew that music could be so educational?!

Music might be the best tool that I've got in my homeschool mommy shed.  It's a language that I know well and understand. It's a subject that lends itself to any situation or setting.  It's an avenue to praise our Heavenly Father.  And hopefully my children will come to discover that music is a friend for life.

The Spelling Test

It finally happened.  I went from being the cool mom to suddenly being the Wicked Witch of the West.  All because of a spelling test.  Apparently, only mean mommies expect perfection in spelling.

Since Boy Wonder isn't going off to a classroom where he is graded and ranked among his peers, it's been a little challenging to explain the concept of grades.  Other than the fact that he likes getting ice cream when he produces perfect math homework, he doesn't seem to understand the importance of not getting anything wrong.  Hence, it's been a challenge to get him to memorize his spelling words. 

I discovered that Boy Wonder enjoys "guessing" on his spelling tests, but it completely defeats the purpose of spelling if he's not going to learn the words.  As a problem-solving, game-loving person myself, I can understand why he enjoys the "guessing tests", but they are completely wasting our time.  They worked when we were spelling easy words with short vowel sounds, but they don't work anymore. I know he can memorize, because he memorizes his Bible verses every week in 1 or 2 days!  He just has no desire to memorize a list of words.

So I got creative.  I tried to incentivize him by telling him that we can stop the spelling tests as soon as he spells all of the words correctly (like when my teachers said that those who aced the Wednesday tests didn't have to take the Friday test), but he wasn't buying this tactic.  Thus, last week there were tears, heated mother-son conversations, and frustration on both sides.

Then Daddy stepped in.  Daddy explained to Boy Wonder that spelling is important.  He explained that just about every good job requires employees to be able to spell.  And there are expectations that employees will spell correctly.  He also explained that misspelling words in the documents that he drafts for clients could, and probably would, get him fired.  Daddy very cleverly demonstrated to Boy Wonder that we must all spell with perfection if we want to be successful in life. 

Voila! The next morning, Boy Wonder aced the test.  No problems. Not only did he ace the test, but he was able to spell similar words that followed the same phonetic rules.  And when retested later, he still spelled all the words correctly.

Grades don't have the same magical, motivating factor for homeschoolers that they do for many in the classroom setting.  Motivating a homeschooler to learn is different from engaging an entire classroom or creating a competitive atmosphere.  Thankfully, Mr. Wonderful is an amazing motivational speaker.  Plus, he's a daddy (and everyone who could care less about making mom happy always wants to please daddy, right?).  I can never underestimate the power of having Daddy involved in the homeschool process.  It's a secret weapon that most school teachers don't have.  It's the secret weapon that I discovered, all because of a lousy spelling test! 

The Vintage Book Baby Shower

I attended a true Southern baby shower last weekend hosted by some of my friends from Alabama.  The theme was "vintage books."  And it was adorable!  The hostesses had stacks of vintage books and toys on display, and they served soda in glass bottles, ice cream, and vintage snacks.  Plus, most of the guests showed up in their party dresses to fit the occasion.  I wore a sleeveless black lace dress and brought my best accessory--Princess G in a long sundress with a big bow in her hair. 

In hind sight, I should have taken pictures to share with you all.  But, since the shower wasn't for me, I felt like it was a slight invasion of privacy to take pictures of another person's party for my blog.  I can't take credit for any of the creativity at this party, so instead of showing and bragging, I will share in words. 

The vintage book baby shower was inspired by the expectant parent's love of books.  In order to help them build a book collection for their baby, the hostesses asked the attendees to forgo buying a card and to instead bring a book with a letter to the family written inside.  Since cards these days cost about $5 each, buying a book instead of card wasn't really that big of a deal.  The biggest challenge with this request was to make sure we all didn't duplicate books.  So, in my case, I found a book that included trains, cats, dogs, and a story of friendship--everything that a little boy could want in a book!  It wasn't a classic must-have for a baby book collection, but it was the kind of book that I know will be appreciated by a little boy.

Instead of playing countless dumb party games, the hostesses asked the party goers to create a book for the new baby.  They passed out different sheets of paper that described events in a baby's life and asked the party goers to fill in blanks (mad lib style) on our sheet and then to illustrate our page. The end results were pretty hilarious.  There were stories that included everything from baby's first bath to baby's first trip to the zoo.  Even the baby's daddy and uncle wrote and illustrated a story about baby's first Alabama football game!

It's not very often that I attend a party where I think it was fabulous enough to write about. But this party was super creative and actually practical.  Not only did the parents not have 25 cards to trash or stick in a box in a closet somewhere, but they now have the beginnings of a wonderful library for their little boy.

I'm not sure everyone will take kindly to the idea of giving books in lieu of cards.  In fact, I'm sure the idea won't appeal to the old folks who must follow social decorum by purchasing cards.  And I doubt my techie friends, who shudder at the idea of holding an actual book, would adapt well to this concept either.  But if you want to stop buying me cards, I'll take a good book any day!

At Last: A Movie for Moms

Saturday night, after a long afternoon of football, I curled up in bed and ordered in a movie.  This was a big deal for me.  With all that I have going on in my life right now, I rarely have the time, or the desire to waste the time, that it takes to watch a movie.  A decade ago, my "hobby" was to check out new releases at the theater with my then boyfriend-now husband.  (We could probably win any movie trivia from the early 2000's!)  But when Boy Wonder came along in 2008, our world completely changed. Instead of having hours to devote to major Hollywood productions, we started watching seasons of old TV shows, because frankly, giving up an hour here or there is significantly easier to justify than the hours it takes to be a movie connoisseur.  Anyway, Saturday's movie night was kind of a one-off for me.

Because I had seen a preview during a football game that fascinated me, I ordered in Mom's Night Out.  This movie was absolutely hilarious, clean, a little over-the-top, and frighteningly relatable!  From the scribbling on the wall, to the screaming daughter in the car at church who messed up mom's mascara, to the best friend who looks amazingly similar to my friend at church, to the "my homeschooler is smarter than your honor student" bumper sticker, I feel like Allyson and I are soul mates.  (Okay, in all fairness, I don't have this bumper sticker, but I probably should.  Except that Mr. Wonderful thinks that bumper stickers are trashy, so I can't.  But, still...)

Any mother of young children who is trying to have it "all together" can totally relate to this movie.  Some might think that the scenes in the movie seem a little far-fetched, but you don't need a screenwriter to come up with any of these plots.  Our children frequently live them out for us!  Just last week, my friend's 2 year old climbed to the top of the McDonald's playground and refused to come down for an hour and a half  just to spite her.  (And although I know I shouldn't laugh about it, the fact that this adorable little boy would do such a thing to his beautiful mother, who just had baby #2, cracks me up!) 

If you've been having a lot of those mommy "moments" lately, you definitely need to take an hour and a half to watch this movie.  Or, if you've been extremely judgmental toward mothers whose children were having an all-out brawl at Hobby Lobby on Friday (yes, those were mine!), then watch the movie.  Give moms a break. And remember, you too were once a bratty two year old!