March Madness has taken on a whole new meaning for me this year. And this meaning has nothing to do with basketball. Instead, the Madness is directly related to life with 3 kids.
When we tell people that we have 3 children, we always (and I mean almost 100% of the time) hear the joke about the fact that we've transitioned from man-to-man defense to zone. As a basketball fan, I'm not sure I agree with the analogy. You see, in man-to-man and zone, the defense is still 5 on 5. Zone is actually easier when everybody defends their zone. But juggling 3 kids isn't easier.
Adding that 3rd child to one's well-balanced life is more like getting caught in the middle of a 3 on 1 fast break when you're the only defender in front of your basket. Typically, for this poor defender to be effective AT ALL, he has to make a smart foul in order to prevent the other team from getting a basket. This defender doesn't get the luxury of help or a strategic defense. This defender just has to do the best he can with what he's got.
Now I know that you might be thinking that technically parenting 3 kids is a 2 on 3 ordeal. After all, there are 2 parents in this game, right? Well, yes, of course. But the reality of the matter is that I spend most of my days caught in the 3 on 1 fast break. My 6' 4" defender doesn't show up until the middle of the last quarter of our day. He tends to be very effective and does show up during the most critical part of our day (and any basketball fan knows that those last few minutes of the game are by far the most important part of any game). But, until Daddy gets home, Mommy is on her own doing her best to defend her basket.
I'd like to think that I'm getting better at this 3 on 1 Mommy business, but some days I'm not so sure. About a week ago, due to a doctor's appointment, my posse and I were out and about early. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to stop by a local clothing store, since 10 AM on a Wednesday morning is a pretty quiet shopping time. But when we got into the store, all chaos broke loose. The boys started fighting about who got to push a cart (did we really need 3 carts?). A few minutes later, Baby G kicked off her shoe and started screaming. Right about that time, Boy 2's shoe fell off and Boy 1 took off with their cart. Boy 2 is now screaming. So, I picked up the baby and told the boys to get a grip. Within 5 minutes, I think they were having an actual fistfight in the middle of the men's department. Exasperated, I decided to take my clothes up to the register so that I could get them out of the store as fast as possible. As soon as I paid (with my screaming baby back in her seat), I heard wailing coming from my 2nd child. He was screaming at the top of his lungs that I forgot to buy groceries that were in his cart. This was rather perplexing, since the store we were at doesn't sell groceries and there was nothing in his cart. He just stood there and sobbed and his brother started acting all smug that little brother was upset. Meanwhile, I just gritted my teeth and groaned as I came to the realization that this is life with 3 kids. Such was my month of March.
Parenthood is a funny thing. When 3 kids are involved, it's certainly not an easy ball game. It can be a constant state of unpredictable madness. You can have a month like March and not have any recollection of accomplishing anything during the month. At least as of April 1st, my house is in a semi-decent state, my kids are clean and dressed in weather appropriate clothing, and I'm not currently suffering from a migraine. I must have done something right. I might not have won a championship, but I survived the month of March.
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