I've been convicted lately. For the past 20 months my family has been attending our church. In that time, we've become familiar with a lot of people. We have been in small groups with quite a few families. We were blessed with meals from these same families after Baby G was born. And we've served with quite a few people in various capacities.
That said, I don't feel like I actually KNOW very many people at my church very well. I know quite a few people by name, but I don't go out for coffee with anybody; I don't hang out with other moms outside of church; and the only time we ever truly did get to know other people was when Mr. Wonderful played on the church softball team. (Never underestimate how beneficial a church softball team can be for families!)
My first inclination when I came to this realization was to blame people at my church for the fact that they're superficially friendly and nothing more. But the truth of the matter is that our church has grown exponentially in the last 3 years and everyone has been fairly "new" to each other. Plus, there aren't many people who have been around a long time who were able to bring the new people into their circles. So it has been tough for everybody to find their place.
As I said before, I've been convicted. I can't blame other people for the fact that I don't have deep friendships at church. I haven't exactly put myself in a position where I can develop these friendships. Nor have I pursued friendships with anyone else. So now I'm convicted that 1) I need to take the initiate to both get to know other people, and 2) I need to facilitate other people getting to know each other. When I prayed about getting to know women at church, I felt God direct me to host a play date. Even worse, I'm pretty sure he wants me to host one a month! Thus, next week we will be hosting the first-ever small group play date at our Derby House.
Please don't laugh at or judge me, but the idea of hosting a play date for multiple mommas is terrifying for me. For starters, as far as I know hospitality is NOT my spiritual gift. I also get anxiety at the thought of trying to come up with a menu for the ladies at church since it seems that everybody has absurd food restrictions--meaning that they're going to think that I'm the unhealthy, bad mom because I would even consider serving cookies or peanut butter or caffeinated beverages.
Anyone who really knows me knows that I'm not big on play dates either. Mainly, because I don't have 3 eyes yet I do have 3 children to keep track of which is next to impossible when I'm trying to visit with other moms. And to be honest with you, other peoples' kids aren't always fun to be around. So the fact that I'm hosting a play date is a really big deal. Somehow, God is using one of my least favorite activities to teach me something.
Who knows how this will turn out? I've already invited my mother to attend so that if nobody else shows up I'll at least feel like I have one friend and I won't have to eat all the scones by myself. I guess we'll just see. But at least now if I don't know anybody, it won't be for lack of effort.
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