Mommy Can't Go Back to Walmart

I'm learning that part of being a parent is accepting the fact that humiliation often accompanies the job.  On more than one occasion your child will do something that makes you gasp and sigh.  And then there are the times when your child does something that makes you cringe, straighten your back and leave a store immediately--with no intention of returning for months.  Just ask Albertson's.  It took me approximately 6 months to start shopping there again.

The Albertson's incident happened on a day when both of my boys were feeling under the weather.  My sweet husband left work early to meet us at the doctor's office where we each took a boy in for their exams.  After the appointment, we took them to Albertson's to pick up some Pedialyte and groceries.  Our oldest was excited to have Daddy push him in the cart with the little car attached to it.  Unfortunately, Daddy didn't understand why he wanted to get out of the car half way around the store.  But then he figured it out.  The little guy got sick all over the meat department floor and inside the plastic car.  We were horrified, the little guy started crying, and Albertson's was more than happy to help us out the door.  Needless to say, I waited months to go back.  I figured that if I waited long enough, no one would recognize us.  And of course, my children aren't allowed anywhere near the plastic cars. Gross!

And then the public humiliation happened again.

Today my baby and I went to Walmart to buy birthday cards.  After cruising through the card aisle, we stopped by the make-up where I picked out the perfect shade of purple nail polish.  Without thinking much about it, I handed the polish to my little guy and headed towards the check-out in the garden department.  On our way there I heard a crash and I froze.  The little guy had smashed the nail polish bottle on the floor at my feet.  When I looked at the floor all I could see was purple paint.  My red patent heels were purple.  My legs were streaked in purple.  And the floor was covered in purple paint. 

I immediately ran to the spill station to get towels to clean up our purple mess, but it was pretty much a lost cause.  The Walmart lady told me not to worry about it.  They assured me that I didn't have to pay for the paint (believe me, I offered.)  And worst of all, when I went back to the make-up section there wasn't another bottle of the pretty purple polish to buy.  So, I held up my head and continued towards the check-out, purple streaked legs and all.  Sorry for the mess Walmart.  I guess we'll be seeing you in 6 months.

At least today's adventure had a happy ending.  My red patent heels withstood the nail polish remover  and have retained their shiny redness.  And thank goodness I don't own a pair of Christian Louboutin heels, because I would have worn them with my short polk-a-dot dress today.  I would have fainted if my guy had painted purple streaks on $800 shoes.  He's just a lucky boy.

All I can say now is that since I can't go back to Walmart, Target better watch out.  Because here we come...