Do You Like My Hat?

Apparently the British have this rule that women are expected to wear hats to royal weddings.  One commentator even stated that the invitations said that women were required to wear hats.  Since I didn't get an invite, I don't know if this is true.  But based on the absurd headpieces I saw today, it's probably true.  Apparently hats are still hip in Britain.  And fascinators are all the rage.

I thought about what would happen here if a wedding invitation in Texas required hats.  And then it occurred to me that everyone would probably show up in a cowboy hat!  That's what we call etiquette in Texas. You probably wouldn't be able to find a hat store within 100 miles of here that wasn't devoted to creating cowboy hats.  It just seems like we're light years, or maybe decades, away from the trends in the UK.

I rather like the idea of wearing something ornate on my head, but I'm always afraid that I might obstruct the view of those seated around me. At least that's what I was accused of doing when I tried to wear a big sunhat in Mexico on a mission trip.  But maybe that's why they have the fascinators that many of the girls wore today--or as Philip Treacy the famous London milliner calls them--head pieces.

Who knew that milliners still existed?  The last time I was in a milliner's shop was when I was visiting The Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village in Detroit, Michigan, when I was in the first grade.  I'm pretty sure that the shop I visited was just pretend too. It's so cool to think about going into an actual milliner's shop to choose a hat to go with a fancy outfit.  It seems (and probably is) very high society.

Even though I probably won't ever have a reason to wear a really beautiful hat (although I'm holding out hope that my husband will take me to the Kentucky Derby someday), we can still enjoy them from across the pond.  Here are some hats that I am loving:

These hats by Gina Foster, and many more can be found at http://www.ginafoster.co.uk/.

Every Girl Loves a Royal Wedding

I'm no anglophile, but I'm definitely a sucker for a fairytale love story.  And I must confess, I've been a little distracted lately by the upcoming nuptials of Prince William of Wales to Kate Middleton.  Isn't it every little girl's dream to marry a prince?

Unfortunately, I'm not hosting a 3 a.m. breakfast party on Friday morning to celebrate and watch the wedding.  But I might take a study break this weekend to enjoy a cup of tea and watch the recorded event on my DVR.  (What a wonderful invention!)  I must also confess that I've already watched the Lifetime movie about Wills and Kate, and I've watched at least 4 of the Lifetime documentary specials about Kate becoming a princess.  Even though their story makes me frown (they shouldn't have been living together already), the idea of a royal wedding makes me want to look at wedding dresses and flowers again.  And just thinking about England makes me want to read a Jane Austen novel. 

Anyway, if you'd like to see the royal wedding yourself, you can tune into any of the following stations at 4 a.m. Eastern time Friday April 29: ABC, CBC, NBC, FoxNews, CNN, MSNBC, E! Entertainment, BBC, etc.

And congratulations Great Britain on your new Princes Kate! 

Basic Estate Planning Rules for Wives

Disclaimer: Information on this blog post is not intended to be legal advice.  I am not a licensed attorney and would recommend that all readers consult with an attorney if you have any questions.

Ok, you know when I start my blog with a disclaimer that something's up.  But you can blame it on the fact that I've immersed myself in wills and estate planning for the past week.  As I've been reviewing the concepts for this class it occurred to me that there are some basic things that every woman really ought to know.  Unfortunately, most of us don't think about these issues until it's too late.

I know that as a wife and mom, I'm thrilled that my husband wants to handle the money/legal issues for the family.  It's just less for me to worry about.  But as a future attorney, I know that wives and mommies have a responsibility to know some basic information.  So here are a few basic things that every woman should know:

1) Every woman needs a will.  Every woman needs her own will, not one shared with her husband.  The best course of action would be to have an estate planning attorney draft a will for you.  Even though my husband is an attorney and is drafting my will, it's still my will and I won't be signing it until I'm satisfied with all the provisions. Trust me, getting a will is a pain, but it's one of the smartest ways to spend a couple hundred dollars.  Here's why: If your husband doesn't have a will, you don't necessarily get to keep all of your marital property when your husband dies.  It just depends on the state where you live.  And if you don't have a will, your husband could get tied up in probate court trying to sort out property according to the intestacy laws of your state.  So, if you want to make sure that your property and children go to the people that you choose, get a will and don't let the government decide for you.

2) If you move to another state, you really ought to meet with an estate planner and have him review your will.  Even though a good attorney should be able to draft a will that satisfies laws anywhere, each state has completely different property laws.  I've only lived in 2 states during my life, and both states have completely different rules--Texas being more friendly to wives.

3. You need life insurance.  If you and your spouse can't afford life insurance for both of you, the breadwinner in your family should have a policy for 10 times their annual salary.  (So if your husband makes $50k per year, you need a $500,000 policy.)  You can purchase a reasonable term life insurance plan, but the sooner you buy it the cheaper it will be.

4. You need to know your financial situation.  If something were to happen to your spouse today, do you know what your financial future looks like?  Do you know how you would pay your bills next month?  Do you even know how you would pay for funeral or medical expenses?

I know that thinking about the "what ifs" in life isn't fun.  But when you choose not to think about the future and plan ahead, you could end up in a dire situation.  If you haven't met with an attorney and talked these issues through with your spouse, make a date to do it.

Part of being a good wife and mommy is being responsible.  Most of us wouldn't dream of not having health insurance.  So why are we so careless when it comes to planning for end of life issues?

No Reason to Complain

"Do everything without complaining..." Philippians 2:14

I didn't get much sleep last night because of a thunderstorm.  And I woke up this morning with the realization that my first exam is in 2 days.  Then I sat down at my computer and realized that everything I had been working on for that exam over the past few days has disappeared, probably to a temporary file somewhere on the computer where I will never find it.  Then my 11 month old got into some chocolate candy all by himself and came to show me.  Ugh!

But when I flipped my Bible to Philippians this morning, I realized that my day isn't going to get better if I have a bad attitude.  Instead, I need to rejoice.  And I have a lot to be thankful for.  So these are my praises today:

• The Easter service at church was wonderful yesterday and we practically doubled our usual Sunday attendance.
• SMU sent me an email and informed me that my Juris Doctorate degree is already in the mail! (And I still have 4 classes to finish)
• God answered prayer and sent the Dallas/Ft. Worth area lots of rain and thunderstorms over the weekend.
• My husband's boss is out of the office for a few days--for some reason this always results in less stress at home.
• I found out last week that I'm finally going to be an aunt. (No, my brother isn't having a baby yet.)
• Ann Taylor Loft had a great sale last week and I'm getting a new outfit in the mail any day now.
• I have a bucket full of Reese's Peanut Butter cups in my kitchen

Yes, this morning was kind of a disaster, but I have no reason to complain.  I'm commanded not to complain.  And in the grand scheme of things, computer glitches and chocolate on the carpet aren't that bad.

Pray for Rain

"When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
2 Chronicles 7:13-14

pictures from www.myfoxdfw.com

Something profound happened this week.  The Governor of Texas has requested that all Texans spend the next three days in prayer, praying for rain.  Regardless of your opinion of Governor Perry, the man did the right thing.  He didn't call the federal government asking for a bail-out.  He didn't make promises that he could squelch the fires raging through west Texas.  And he didn't form a new committee to investigate the devastation in the state.  Instead, he urged everyone to pray for rain.

According to Myfoxdfw.com, 8,000 wildfires have destroyed more than 1.5 million acres and 400 homes throughout the state.  In the last week, 2 firefighters have died as a result of the containment effort.  The news channels are full of images of burned homes, ranches, and even a church.  We've had rain, but not enough and not in the right places.

I don't think it's a coincidence that we're being called to pray during Easter weekend.  As the death and destruction is spreading through our state on this Good Friday, we have the promise of hope and healing that Christ can bring.  In 2 Chronicles God promised Solomon that he could send the rain and heal the hearts of the nation's people when they humbled themselves and asked for forgiveness.  Let us pray that the people of Texas would be healed this weekend.  Let us pray that people will seek God and that He will send rain.

Singing the Name of Jesus

"However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name...So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good." I Peter 1:16,19

I was reading stories this morning about women around the world who are currently suffering as a result of their faith in Christ.  Women are being imprisoned throughout the world because they are believers.  Women are being physically assaulted and murdered because they are turning to Jesus and away from Islam.  Women  are constantly on the run because their Communist governments are not only trying to silence them, but trying to suppress their message.  The story that really touched my heart was of a woman who was in agony because she has to whisper the name of Jesus.  She hasn't been able to sing and worship Him in her own home.  I can't imagine not being able to sing to Jesus. 

At the moment, there's nothing I can do to save these women from persecution.  But I will pray for them.  And I will sing, knowing that I sing on behalf of believers around the world.  At the moment, I live in a country where I have the freedom to praise the name of Jesus.  Take a few minutes to praise Him today too. 

Law School Exams are Near

Don't you just love college exam periods?  (If you've never experienced college exams, you're lucky.)  Law school exams are worse.  In law school your grade for each class is based solely on your final exam.  One grade and one chance is all you've got to prove you've learned something.  I have no idea why law schools think that the one exam method is useful, but now that I'm approaching my 8th exam period, I have a great study system. See here:

Yeah, I'm not really into studying yet.  Cake balls and cupcakes aren't going to help me ace law practice management or juvenile justice.  But they do relieve stress.  And I'm not alone in being distracted--my study buddy sent me a text saying that she used her entire study period today to make graduation party invitations.  Let's just keep our fingers crossed and hope that I learned something this semester. 

Just kidding--my husband says I'm supposed to get serious 48 hours before each test.  Since he did awesome in law school, I've always taken his advice and done just fine.  And my outlines for each class are coming along nicely.  Anyway, if you're bored or hungry, feel free to come visit.  I have boxes of cake mix and lots of icing in my pantry!

Never Forget...But Forgive

"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those you curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." Luke 6:27-28

In March 1944, the Mozes family was taken to Auschwitz where the entire family was murdered in the Nazi gas chambers, everyone except the twins Eva and Miriam Mozes.  The twins were saved only to be used in Josef Mengele's horrific experiments.  Miraculously, both twins survived and went on to lead productive lives.  Eva eventually married an American and settled in Terra Haute, Indiana where she founded the Holocaust Museum and Education Center, CANDLES.

Eva Mozes Kor stirred up international controversy when she discussed her experience of forgiving the Nazi's for their persecution of her family, herself, and her world.  Eva claims that forgiveness is the Modern Miracle of Medicine that heals and acts as a seed of peace.  To hear her discussion of the Holocaust and and her message of forgiveness watch here:

In Luke, Jesus commands us to do exactly what Eva did.  We are called to pray for and forgive those who hurt us.  When we are able to finally forgive, we are no longer victims.  We are no longer bound by fear of getting hurt.  Instead, when we forgive, we are free to share the love of Jesus with those who so desperately need His love.

Let us never forget what happened during the Holocaust.  But let us also learn to forgive and pray for those who mistreat us.

To learn more about Eva's Holocaust Museum visit CANDLES.  According to this site, she is giving tours as the docent at her museum on Saturdays.  I would encourage anyone who could take a day trip to Terra Haute to do it.  I think this experience could be life changing.

Life isn't a Scheduled Delivery

"Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lords' will, we will live and do this or that.'" James 4:13-15

 When I was expecting my second child, I had a scheduled delivery all planned out.  We chose the birth date, the time of delivery, and we had coordinated the delivery around my school schedule.  I would finish final exams one week.  Then a week later I would have a baby.  Then, I would have all summer to be home with my little guy.  My type A personality was very happy with this plan.

But it didn't really work that way.  I went into preterm labor a week before finals.  I was on medication to stop my labor all through my exam period.  And those pills messed me up--I had hot flashes, heart palpitations, shakiness, and I was really revved up.  I just knew that my water would break at school, and I groaned every time I thought about the possibility.  I was at the point where whatever happened would happen and I couldn't do anything about it, except go with it.

Aren't we all really at that point?  James reminds us that we can't really plan ahead for anything.  All we can do is live each day doing what God wants us to do that day.  Just as I knew that God would work out school and labor and baby issues, God will work out life too.  His Word is a "lamp unto our feet" taking us each step of the way.  We just have to trust Him.  We have to stop trying to direct our own lives, because life is not a scheduled delivery--it's more like spontaneous labor.

Oh, and spontaneous labor did happen for me.  My water ended up breaking a few days before my scheduled delivery, and 4 days after my last exam.  God gave me a happy, healthy boy and he also gave me the best semester grades of my entire law school career.  I just had to stop planning and trust that God would work it out.

Spring in Texas

It's not really spring in Texas until you get the outdoor pictures. I think these little cowboys are the cutest things ever!

Sent Here to Finish

At church today I heard a story about the great Olympian, John Stephen Akhwari.  In 1968, Akhwari represented Tanzania as a marathon runner during the summer Olympics in Mexico.  During his race he fell, cutting his knee and displacing the joint.  Despite the pain, he continued running.  Hours later, he finished the race.  When asked why he was so determined to finish the marathon, Akhwari replied "My country did not send me 5,000 miles to Mexico City to start the race. They sent me 5,000 miles to finish the race."

Again, in 1992, an Olympic runner, Derek Redmond, fell and injured himself during his race.  Just like Akhwari, he was determined to finish strong--with the help of his father.  Watch the inspiring video below.

God didn't send us here to start a race. Just like Jesus, believers have a purpose to fulfill while we're alive.  And just like Jesus, we need to finish and fulfill our calling. God's doesn't expect us to run alone.  He'll carry us, but we have to keep running...

Thanks Mom and Dad

I have to confess that the 30 day Media Reduction Challenge has been much harder than I expected.  I didn't realize that I am addicted to talk radio.  Of course, it's not hard to become an addict when you've spent the last 10 years of your life as a commuter.  I easily spend 3 hours a day in my car just going to school!  And after about 30 minutes the drum beat and bass rhythms give me a headache.  So, I prefer to listen to human chatter--I know, you'd think it'd give me a migraine.

Since I'm trying to put-off the worldly chatter with my 30 day challenge, I've been "putting on" spiritual wisdom by listening to sermons.  The other night I heard Dr. Robert Jeffress talking about Servanthood based on Philippians 2.  His point was that Jesus came to be a servant.  Despite being God, He did not seek to be elevated to God's level, but was willing to bear our sins--something that was beneath Him.  And as Christians we're called to be servants.  We're called to actually make a real sacrifice.  For examples, Dr. Jeffress said husbands should sacrifice their down time at home to listen to their wives (apparently this is a huge sacrifice) and wives should be good to their husbands and not critical.  Likewise, parents should realize that children are their perogative at this point in their lives and should be willing to sacrifice their future retirement funds if it means protecting and adequately guarding the hearts and minds of their children by using these funds for a Christian education.  (This was the best argument I've ever heard for sending a child to a Christian school.)

This made me realize that my parents did exactly what Dr. Jeffress said parents should do.  I know for a fact that they gave up a lot of luxuries and worldly benefits so that I could go to Christian schools.  They wanted to protect me from the world--and they succeeded.  I never did anything remotely dangerous, illegal, or stupid in high school, and I've made very calculated decisions as an adult.  And because of what my parents were willing to do for me, I am where I am today.  I can only pray that I will have this impact on my own children someday.

Thanks Mom and Dad for your sacrifice.  Now that I'm a parent, I'm starting to understand what you gave up.  Thanks for your example of servanthood.  Even if you don't enjoy your retirement at the country club, I know that God will honor your sacrifice someday.  I love you guys!

Finding Your Happily Ever After

"This is what the Lord says: Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.  But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."  Jeremiah 17:5-8

As the married girl at school, a lot of other girls will come and share their relationship woes with me or seek my advice.  I mean, I'm married, I have all the answers, right?  At least not the answers that most college-aged girls want to hear.  I have successfully solved some of my friends immediate love crises, but deep down these girls are like plants trying to live in wastelands full of salt.  It doesn't matter how many times I suggest not living with their boyfriends, or going to church, or getting into a Bible study.  Most girls just keep searching in the parched places to find a man who can make their lives better.

Haven't we all made this mistake at some point?  At the point when we have allowed a human relationship to consume us so much that when there was a "drought" in the relationship, our souls shriveled up?  I know I have struggled with this and it's not a pretty ending.  But for people who love Jesus, there is hope.

We are told that those who trust in the Lord are like plants who can withstand the Texas heat.  No matter what happens, even if we don't get the water our soul needs, Jesus is going to be there to sustain us and help us bear fruit.  What a beautiful and encouraging picture!  If we stop relying on people to make us happy but instead put our confidence in Jesus, He promises to help us bear fruit.  Jesus wants to sustain us during the dry and hot times.  Are we letting Him?

In his book, The Pilgrim's Regress, C.S. Lewis wrote that "What does not satisfy when we find it, was not the thing we were desiring."  Deep down we all desire a happily ever after. Only Jesus can give us that.  Let's stop putting our energy seeking for love and acceptance in the wrong places.  Let's seek our happy ending from Him.

Mommy Etiquette at the Park

<a href="http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=13358&picture=park-playground">Park Playground</a> by Shari Weinsheimer

As per our normal routine, we walked down to our local city park this morning.  And I must say, I was appalled at the women who were there.  I apparently intruded on their play date.  As the odd-mom-out, let me just encourage all my dear mommy friends that when you go to the park there are a few etiquette rules you should follow:

1) Watch your children.  I know this seems like a no-brainer, but if you've ever been to a park with lots of children, you will find that mommies get busy talking.  If someone ever wanted to abduct a child, the park is the perfect place because too many mommies don't pay attention. 

2) Say Hello to other mothers--especially when you are in a group.  I was the mom not in the group and these ladies didn't say boo to me.  Their kids did, because their kids weren't being well supervised, but the other mothers completely ignored me.  It's too bad for them.  They were sharing ignorance with each other about treating childhood asthma.  Too bad they didn't talk to the former school nurse--I could have taught them something.

3) If you're going to breastfeed your child in full public view, keep all female appendages covered.  I mean seriously, my 2 year old should not be asking why that other mommy is taking her shirt off.  If you can pick a wedgie without lifting up your skirt, who should be able to nurse a baby without showing the world your lady parts.  They have great little tools for breastfeeding in public--they're called blankets!

4) Don't judge other mothers based on their appearance.  I almost broke this rule on Monday.  The other mom at the park was with her husband and mother, and I seriously misjudged these people. Based on their appearance I would have sworn that they were growing marijuana in their backyard and were dealers.  But when I started talking with them, they were just nice people with a nice little boy who was very kind to my 2 year old son!  My little guy had so much fun with theirs.

5) Don't hog all the benches with your junk.  That's right.  Other people like to sit on benches while they watch their kids.  So pick one bench and put your junk there.  Be an example for your children and share.

6) Don't let your kids be brats.  This little snotty girl would not let my 2 year old go down his favorite slide today.  I really wanted to get involved, but I was curious to see what he would do without me.  He's such a good little man!  He didn't flinch, scream, or cry, but he just waited until she got tired of harassing him and went down the slide.  She's a lucky little girl.  I'm confident that if she had tried that stunt on my other son, he would have pulled her hair and pushed her down the slide.  I'm so proud of my oldest child for setting such a good example, even at the age of 2!

7) Don't block the sidewalk.  People who are walking or riding their bikes through the park shouldn't have to go through the wood chips or grass solely because you have set up camp on the sidewalk.  Be polite and move yourself. I actually had to get my kids out of our stroller today and had to carry the stroller around these ladies because they wouldn't move!

8) Play!  That's what the park is for.  The daddy I saw at the park was flying a kite.  I was walking the trails with my kiddos.  And that's why we have parks.  If you want to gossip--find a coffee shop.

9) Don't irritate other mothers at the park.  Or else the might blog about you!

Integrity Defined

"The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out." Proverbs 10:9

Justice Douglas Lang from the Texas Fifth District Court of Appeals came and spoke to my Professional Responsibility class this semester.  He also brought us each a copy of his book, Deeds Not Words.  Justice Lang has a passion for the legal profession and has worked his entire career to encourage lawyers to adhere to our professional code of ethics.  In our class, he discussed the need for integrity and honesty in our profession. 

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines "integrity" as being "firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values, an unimpaired condition; the quality or state of being complete or undivided."  Proverbs says that a man of integrity "walks securely."  I'll have to admit that if I hire a lawyer for $200/hour, I expect that person to have integrity and to produce legal work that is on the up and up.  But I also expect that the person I marry is someone complete or undivided.  I hope that the person who watches my kids is someone who adheres to moral values.  I hope the person who changes my oil is someone in an unimpaired condition.  The bottom line is that integrity is something that everyone should strive for.

I love the title of Justice Lang's book, Deeds Not Words. That just sums up the point entirely.  We are known by our deeds, despite what words we use.  We will be known as hypocrites if our actions don't match what we say.  But Christians can be known as people of integrity if we live especially moral lives that reflect God's Word.  Let's strive for integrity.  Let's live our lives as open books.  Don't walk the crooked path and hope you aren't found out.  Instead, let your deeds, not your words, define you.

Rejected and Happy About It

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."  Matthew 11:28

I did something that I probably shouldn't have done over the weekend.  I applied to a job.  It was a job that I didn't need, but something that was kind of interesting to me.  I justified applying to it because the commitment was minimal.  But as soon as I sent out the application, I immediately regretted that I had hit the send button.  For some reason, I felt guilty and burdened by what I had done.  I've been so happy at home, why in the world would I want to go back to work in a hospital?  I have been sick to my stomach and worried about my actions ever since.

That's when I prayed about it.  I was honest and said that if it wasn't meant to be, that I didn't even want to get an interview.  Well guess what?  I didn't even get the interview!  And trust me, I was overqualified for the position.  I can't tell you how much better I feel today knowing that I'm not carrying around the burden of trying to figure out how to juggle a job again.  I also know that God has something bigger in store.  He's got a purpose for this law degree, and one day He's going to show me. 

In the meantime, I'm going to rest in Him and use my time to encourage others. God wants to give us rest, we just have to seek it from Him and let Him carry our burdens.  I don't know why I have had such a hard time learning this lesson. 

Oh, and if you ever apply to Baylor Grapevine, don't use my name as a reference.  They've never given me an interview for any job I've applied for there.  Of course, I'm sure my former law firm employer isn't exactly on Baylor's favorite persons list...

Choosing the Right Necklace

"My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck." Proverbs 3:21

I didn't go to Baylor for college.  (And as an SMU student I'm supposed to wrinkle my nose as I say the word Baylor.)  But I had quite a few friends who went there.  One sweet friend of mine showed me her dorm room when I visited her during her freshman year of college, and she informed me that she lived in the dorm with the nice girls.  Apparently the guys at Baylor were known for dating the girls in another residence hall--one famous for producing sorority girls--but then later marrying the girls who lived where my friend lived.  That doesn't say much for the Baylor guys does it?

This same scenario actually played out in my own college group.  One of my friends who is probably a fabulous wife and mommy was told by a guy in our group that he couldn't date her because she wasn't "edgy" enough.  He said that he needed a girl with more edge.  Well what is that supposed to mean?  All I know was that this comment hurt her feelings and made me scratch my head.  Why are Christian women taught to exercise sound judgment and discernment when Christian guys claim they want edgy women?

We're taught to be women of sound judgment and discernment, because that is God's command in Proverbs.  We are told that good judgment will give us life.  The next few verses even say that sound judgment and discernment will allow us to walk safely, not be afraid when we sleep, not have fear during disasters, and give us confidence from the Lord.  He says that choosing discernment is like wearing an ornament to grace your neck. In other words, sound judgment and discernment are the perfect accessory for any woman.

Don't feel bad about being considered a prudish woman.  If you're exercising discernment in your life, God says you're wearing the right necklace.  It may not seem like the "fun" way to live, but having high standards and sound judgment "will be life for you."  You may not be known as the best party girl, but you'll be known as the girl in the nice girl residence hall.  You know, the kind of girl that a guy will actually buy the diamond for; the girl that God will use to be a good wife and mommy; the girl whose testimony hasn't been tarnished.

I guess that's why the prudish college girls always end up the first ones married.  My Baylor friend did get married--to a good guy from the University of North Texas who really was looking for a godly wife.  And my church friend found a guy who appreciated her for the woman she was.  Oh, and the guy looking for an edgy wife, well he's been single for a long time...

The Free Garage Sale

My church did the coolest thing this past weekend.  We had a garage sale where we gave away everything for FREE.  People were shocked and so excited when they realized that they didn't have to pay.  I was amazed at how quickly people snatched up their bargains.  My husband unloaded an old porch rocking chair and within 20 seconds some man was carrying it away from the truck.  People were truly behaving like kids in a candy store.

But that was the point.  We wanted people to feel blessed and loved.  And we handed out over 100 invitations to our Easter service.  I don't know if people are still doing door-to-door visitation, but I do know that a quick way to reach out to a large number of people is to have a free garage sale.  Maybe next year we can have one that is bigger and badder.  And maybe we can pass out 200 invitations...

The Perfect Patent Pump

This is the perfect shoe. This is a Jimmy Choo.  Four years ago, I drove by the Jimmy Choo store and made up my mind that when I graduated from law school, I was going to buy myself a perfect pair of Jimmy Choo shoes as a graduation present for myself. I thought that every aspiring lawyer needed a pair...

 Fast forward to today and reality has set in that I may never own a pair of Jimmy's.  In fact, I've come to realize that it would be foolish to own a pair.  Who really needs a pair of $500 pumps?  Definitely, not me.

Four years and 2 kids later, I need pumps with rubber soles that will support me when I'm carrying 25 pounds of baby.  I need pumps with super soft insoles to comfort my feet when I'm chasing my toddler around the house.  I need pumps that don't make holes in my grass as I'm trying to get my kiddo buckled into his car seat.  Ok, to be honest, I guess I need tennis shoes. (Yeah right you're really going to catch me in sneakers!)

Anyway, the moral to the story is that over the past four years, my attitude, heart, and desires have changed a lot.  I'm starting to get a grasp on money and the value of things--$500 shoes are just stupid when I can buy $15 black patent pumps at Ross.  I'm understanding how to prioritize my life--having money for diapers is so much more important than having cash for Starbucks.  I'm learning patience--that's why God made toddlers.  And I've come to understand how the pursuit of worldly endeavors is meaningless and can make you miserable--you've never seen misery until you've met a first year law student.

I know that a lot of people think that going to law school was a waste of four years of my life since I'm not planning on working right now.  I've even had Christians tell me that college, in general, is a waste of time for women.  But it's not.  God used this time to teach me, to mature me, and to open my eyes to the battles that my children will face in this world.  I can't wait to see what God has in store for me next.  Who knows, maybe  someday He'll give me the opportunity to argue before the Supreme Court of the United States and He'll make sure I'm wearing a pair of Jimmy's... Hey, miracles happen!

Since I don't want to violate any copyright laws, you can find this shoe and much more at http://www.jimmychoo.com/.

Time to Get Your Fan Gear

Now that baseball season is here, I know that I can expect to have to go to at least a few Ranger games this year--especially if we make the playoffs again.  This means it's time to get my fan gear.  I don't know if you've noticed, but Ranger fans last year all seemed to have the same shirts.  We saw lots of claws and antlers and we saw the same ladies' t-shirts over and over again.  And you can totally blame Academy for that.  Isn't that where we all went for Ranger gear?  (Well, you should have, because the Ranger gift shop is lots more expensive and has most of the same clothes.)

I'm very excited to announce that there is a new store carrying Ranger gear this year.  Thanks to our stint in the playoffs, Victoria's Secret has added the Rangers to their MLB collection.  This means that if you're like me and want some really blinged out fan wear, Victoria's Secret is for you!  Check out some of their collection:

Aren't these cute?  To see more, you can go directly to the VS Ranger's Collection at Victoria's Secret.

It's the Thought That Counts

My 2 year old informed me today that he wanted to get me flowers. (He was apparently troubled because I had thrown away the previous flowers that were starting to wilt.)  When he was grocery shopping with Grandma yesterday he told her that he wanted to get me flowers too!  Even though he can't buy any on his own, it made me happy to know that my little man wanted me to have flowers.  He's so sweet and sensitive to what his mommy needs.  Every woman needs a little man like this in her life...

Taking a Man's Last Name

"The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Genesis 2:23; "Now the man called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all the living." Genesis 3:20

I saw a story on Yahoo a couple of weeks ago discussing the trend in last names.  It apparently really bothers some women to take on their husband's last name.  Thus, we have married persons with different names or hyphenated names or 3rd party names (yes, some couples create new names).  So what's the deal with changing last names?  Should women take on their husband's name?

Yes.  If you want to make a commitment to a man, you should take his last name.  Why?  Because from the beginning, in Genesis, God allowed Adam to name his wife as a symbol that she was his girl.  It's about the symbolism.  When a woman takes a man's name she's proclaiming to everyone that she is not only taken (as evidenced by her ring) but that Mr. So-and-so has taken her. 

I know that a lot of women will say that it would hurt their career and their marketing plan to change their name, so their professional name should continue to be their name.  Well here's the deal, the marriage should come first--before the career.  Plenty of professional women have changed their names and done really well for themselves!  If you're truly committing to another person, you should seal the deal with the name.  If this commitment is too much of a burden, don't get married!

I think it's beautiful that Adam named his wife.  And I'm glad that I carry my husband's last name.

Teaching Life and Death Lessons

"Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment." James 3:1

As a registered nurse, one of my jobs was to teach patients all of the information a doctor wanted them to know prior to discharging them from the hospital.  This meant that before I let them leave the hospital, it was my responsibility to make sure they knew how to change their dressings, what medications they could take and how much they could take, how to empty out any drains that were still in them, how to know if there was an infection, when to call the doctor, and what they should look out for.  This task is hard.  Patients usually don't listen well because they're anxious to go home.  And you have to know about each doctor's preferences, surgeries, medication regimens, plus the side effects of all medications and surgeries. 

If I failed to properly teach my patients, it could result in their death or injury.  I could also lose my license or get sued for malpractice.  Patient teaching is a very crucial job.  That's why nurses are in charge of it.  Nursing assistants, translators, unit secretaries, and other hospital personnel have no business instructing patients, because it's a big deal with life or death consequences.

James says that being a teacher in the church is also a big deal.  Church leaders, like nurses, deal with life and death situations.  The only difference is that church leaders are liable to God, not a licensing board or to patients and church leaders are dealing with ETERNAL life and death situations.

This doesn't mean that people shouldn't become teachers in the church.  This just means that people who teach in the church have a huge responsibility.  What they teach better align with Scriptures.  How they live ought to reflect God's will for their life.  And their testimony better remain intact.

If you're a church teacher or leader, please consider the impact that you have on people.  Let's pray for our leaders.  Let's pray that they will lead by example and teach the Truth.

Restoration Texas

I don't know if they've been reading my blog, but the Texas Bar Journal published a story in April about the courthouse restoration project that turned our old courthouses into beautiful historical buildings.  In fact, they highlighted the Milan County Courthouse in the article!  If you're interested in seeing pictures of more great buildings you can read the entire article here: Texas Bar Journal Online.

 

Photo by Joe Mabel

(CC) Larry D. Moore

(CC) Larry D. Moore

A New Perspective on Clothes

"Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments." 1 Timothy 2:9 

During my freshman year of high school, my church youth group went on an amazing trip to Washington D.C.  where we had a blast.  When I think of that trip, I have to laugh about all the drama that went on between the Senior girls and the youth leaders.  Here's what happened:

We weren't given a list of what clothes we shouldn't bring.  So, the girls packed their bags and brought the clothes that normal Senior girls would wear.  And then the female youth leaders got really mad when the girls pulled out short shorts, short dresses, and spaghetti strap shirts/tank tops.  And then the girls and leaders spent the rest of the week fighting about clothing.  (Oh, and there was an incident when someone got this great idea to dye her hair too.)  The freshmen girls all thought the ordeal was funny.  The clothes in question weren't that bad.  The girls being criticized were nice girls who were active in the church.  And the youth leaders who were arguing about the clothes were the LAST people I would have sought fashion advice from.

We seemed to have a repeat of D.C. on every other youth trip.  Why? Because the youth leaders never grasped the proper way to teach modesty. (Personally, I think parents are better suited to teach this lesson--and my parents did!)

As I was reading the Girls Gone Wise book this weekend, I had an enlightened moment.  Mary Kassian explains in 1 chapter, what our youth leaders should have been able to teach.  She discussed 1 Timothy 2:9 in a way I had never heard it taught.  She breaks down the verse into 3 commands:

1) We should wear proper clothing.  In the Greek, the word proper is Kosmio and can be read to mean that we are to dress "like the universe, all the parts should be aptly and harmoniously arranged with the other parts."  In other words, we are called to dress in a way that is "becoming." This means that just as it is sinful to be too extravagant or extreme with our appearance, it is also sinful to be a frump!  Our clothing should look tasteful and "harmonious" with fashion and our body types.

2) We should wear modest clothing. The Greek word aidous stands for humility and shame.  We are to dress in such a way that we can present ourselves to God.  Adam and Eve needed God to make them clothing when they sinned.  And God is the only one who can clothes us in true righteousness and make us presentable to Himself.  We need to remember that the way we dress, is the way we want to present ourselves to Him.  I've always said that if I am embarrassed to wear an outfit in front of a human judge in court, then I ought to be embarrassed to wear that outfit to church before my Judge.  In court, lawyers dress in a way to show respect and to not draw attention to themselves.  This is a good rule for real life too when it comes to clothes.

3) We should dress discreetly. The Greek word sophrosunes indicates that we should not dress in a way that is crazy or insane.  Extreme fashion and extreme hair or make-up are unreasonable and indiscreet.  So are clothes that cost too much.  We just need to use common sense and good judgment with regards to our wardrobe.

I think the denim jumper wearing mom, the frumpy former jock, the goth wannabe and the high maintenance beauty queen can all learn something from this verse.  We ought to dress in such a way that makes us look good, but doesn't draw attention to ourselves, and ultimately honors God. If my youth leaders in high school had taught this verse in this way and had lived it themselves, we probably wouldn't have had the drama in D.C.

Just remember that sin is the reason we have to wear clothes in the first place.  Our clothing is symbolic of the fact that we need something other than our own skin to become presentable before God.  He clothed us in righteousness, and we should clothe ourselves tastefully.

Isn't it cool to learn about clothes from this perspective?  I didn't mention one word about men and their perception about women and lusting, blah blah blah.  Nope. Clothes are for God.  So we should be proud of our appearance and make ourselves look appropriate before our Judge and Creator.

Digging Up the Past...

Friday afternoon I was sick to my stomach.  I was actually scared of this weekend. Why?  Because I was supposed to coordinate and attend my 10 year high school class reunion on Saturday.  Knowing how worked up I was about the event, a lot of people would have told me not to go. But I was the class president--and there were only 18 people in my class!  It would have been obvious if I had skipped. 

I was really afraid of digging up the past.  I have tried (and succeeded) to suppress many memories from high school.  My good memories were with my church youth group involving church camp, ski trips, mission trips, pool parties, and movie nights.  And my bad memories involved my high school, mean girls, a horrible teacher, and some boys who were just cruel.  The funny thing is that on paper, high school was a success.  I was on the student council, praise team, yearbook staff, cheerleading squad, National Honor Society, and tennis team.  I even had great relationships with most of my teachers.  I just didn't enjoy high school.  Thankfully, life has only gone uphill since then.

That said, I'm really glad that I attended my 10 year reunion.  9 of the 18 people showed up on Saturday.  It's weird how we all went different ways after high school, but we're all still so much alike.  Most of my class is married and have started or are getting ready to start families.  I think we all share many of the same values.  And we're all currently attending Bible teaching churches.  It was neat to see that all the time and money our parents invested in a Christian education paid off--at least spiritually-speaking.

When I graduated from high school 10 years ago, I pretty much wanted nothing to do with most of my classmates.  But now, I kind of like them.  Ok, I had fun with them and would definitely be interested in hanging out with them in the future.  I guess time, life experience, and spiritual growth has healed some wounds.  The past wasn't as bad as I expected.

Maslow's Mess

"Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to him, 'Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?  In the same way, faith by itself, it if is not accompanied by action is dead." James 2:15-16

When I was working as a nurse, the cardinal rule of patient care was that you have to tend to physical pain and needs before you can encourage a patient to do anything else.  For example, before you get a patient out of bed for their physical therapy, you need to make sure that they have had their breakfast and pain medicine.  Otherwise, their physical needs will consume them and they won't be able to mentally or physically accomplish the requested task.  It's psychology 101: Maslow's heirarchy of needs:

Maslow was on the right track with that rule, but he missed the point (I'll get to that in a minute).  James says that if you really care about someone's physical needs, you need to help meet the needs.  Merely having good intentions for other people isn't useful and doesn't show that your intentions are real.  It's like giving a patient physical therapy without pain medicine--a complete waste of time and a painful experience for the patient.  In the same way, claiming you have faith, but not backing up that faith with actions is useless.  No one's going to believe you have faith unless you demonstrate the faith, and you could really hurt your testimony.

As to the rest of Maslow's pyramid, he got really confused, huh?  There's not even a place for spiritual needs; instead, the top is self-actualization.  If you want to know what a world with self-actualization would be like, just sit in a faculty lounge of any public university.  It's nauseating and annoying that so many professors think so highly of themselves and their knowledge.  What good does that do to the rest of the world?  Not much.  Professors exist solely to indoctrinate others with their ideas.  Sometimes these ideas are good and useful (nursing school comes to mind), and sometimes they're worth the computer games that the students play during class.

So what should go on the top of the pyramid?  How about "the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." Westminster Catechism. How do we get there? Faith first, then good works. Ephesians 2:8-10 says "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."  

Once we're saved, we should exist solely to glorify God.  We should demonstrate our faith in Him through our actions to others.  We should love others and meet their needs.  We shouldn't just say "get well soon" but should bring them meals.  We shouldn't just say, "hope you find a job."  We should pay their bills if they can't.  We shouldn't just teach poor people how to dress for work, we should give them the clothes they need!

If we say that we have faith that God will provide, let's put our money where are mouth is.  If we say that we have faith that God will bring us a job, let's stop acting like desperate people.  If we say that we believe God will bring us a spouse, let's stop hunting for and dating losers.  If we say that we believe that God knows best, let's stop seeking the world's opinion.

Let's throw out the psychology pyramid and focus on the cross!  Let's meet the needs of others and demonstrate our faith!