Where's the Warning Label?

When people become parents, the child should be sent home from the hospital with a warning label attached that says the following:   

Warning.  This child must not be left alone in an unconfined space for any period of time for the first 18 years of life.  Beware that when living with this child, any and all personal items may be damaged or lost.  Any damage to self, personal, or real property are solely the responsibility of the owner of this child.  Enjoy at your own risk.

Everyone knows that as parents we're supposed to "child proof" our homes so that our precious little ones cannot hurt themselves.  But what parents are not told is that there is really no way to "parent proof" ourselves or our possessions from the child.  So when you have a baby, anything you own is really fair game as far as it's ability to outlast the child.

If you still don't have a clue what I'm talking about, let me tell you about Tornado Man.  My sweet, adorable youngest child has earned this nickname due to his amazing ability to destroy everything in his path.  Just this past week, he has managed to break the TV's remote control, hide some jewelry, deprogram my printer so it no longer works, place his daddy's glasses where mommy stepped on them, and break mommy's cute posted note holder.  And this is just a typical week in our house.  We've already had broken vases, broken cups, shredded CD's (not sure how he does that), broken CD players and cracked cell phones.  And I haven't even started talking about the stains in the walls, carpet, or rugs; the cracks and dents in the furniture; or the damaged baby equipment.

Parenting definitely comes with its own risks.  So if you're really attached to your pre-baby life and possessions, find a storage unit and pack it away.  Or you could welcome your sweet, new little one into your house and realize that life as you once knew it is over.  Your life and possessions are no longer your own.  And every time you look at a scratch in the furniture or a broken vase, just remember that they are reminders of the little life in your house. 

After my second son was born, I randomly met a wise lady one day who told me that she had learned to accept the changes in her life that her children brought.  She said that she ended up with terrible stretch marks from carrying her children.  But she said that she's thankful that these scars are her love marks--reminders of how much she loves her children. 

I'm going to take her approach and apply it to my life.  When you come to my house and see stains or dents in the furniture or walls, please don't judge.  These are my love marks.  They remind me of the precious little people in my life--including Tornado Man.

I'm sure at some point in the future, the products liability lawyers will get it all figured out and find a way to impose warning labels on children at birth.  But until that time, parents beware!